ShenmueIrony 3
by NastyAlien45
Summary: A Shenmue Parody that takes place DURING Shenmue 3.
1. The Hunt for Lan Di continues

S

S.I. 3

Episode 1:  
"Just You and I"

"Guilin City"  
"Ryo's Stakeout Penthouse"

:Ryo follows Lan Di, walking, through a pair of binoculars:

Ryo-san: Ahhh... he's finally alone. Time for me to make my move.

:Full of confidence, Ryo heads to the car garage:  
:His car was missing:

Ryo-san: You've gotta be kidding me.

:Ryo pages Shenhua:  
:A few minutes later, Shenhua calls back to the Penthouse:

Ryo-san:(Anxiously) Hello?!  
Shenhua: Speak.  
Ryo-san: Why did you take the car?! You had no permission to take it. Did I not clearly explain the times that you can take my car?  
Shenhua: Your car?! I'm on the title too! Besides, what's soooo important anyways?  
Ryo-san:(calmly) Well, I only just...(starts to stammer)... FOUND LAN DI BY HIMSELF! I had this brilliant plan to do a driveby with a whole bunch of sharp objects I found in our kitchen and you just had to go out to do something more important huh? Great, now our whole journey has ended. My vengance hasn't been fulfilled now. I minuse well just jump of the goddamn Great Wall of China now!  
Shenhua: Then do it! I almost ran a red light because of you you DICK!

:Shenhua hangs up:

Ryo-san:(Ripping the phone cord out of the wall) Perfect! I guess I'm running...

"The Streets of Guilin City"

:Ryo runs with all of his might, trying his hardest to get to his sighting spot:  
:He arrives, but Lan Di is clearly unnoticeable:

Ryo-san:(Trying to catch his breath) F-Father will never forgive me.

:An American boy walks by, carrying a large sack over his shoulder:

Boy: Hey.  
Ryo-san: Not now kid.  
Boy: I'll sell you a cool robe. It's some kind of Ancient Chinese Robe.  
Ryo-san:(lifting his eyebrow) Ancient you say? What did your client look like kid?  
Boy: Long black hair, a red skeet pot on his eye, ehhhh I think I could of beat his ass, oh and he wore a red shirt with blue pants.  
Ryo-san: Hey watch your mouth. What would your mother think about your language?  
Boy: I don't give a shit, listen, you want this rob or not?  
Ryo-san: How much?  
Boy: Hundred dollars.  
Ryo-san: I only have YEN.  
Boy: Then kiss off cheapskate.

:Boy turns around:

Ryo-san: Wait wait! Ok, hmmmm, hold on...

:Ryo scavages through his pockets:  
:He takes out his pager that Shenhua uses to contact him when he's out:

Ryo-san: Shenhua's gonna kill me.

:Ryo trades the robe for the pager:

Boy: Boy you are dumb mister, I wiped my ass with that robe like five minutes ago. HAHA.

:The boy runs off laughing:  
:Ryo carrys the sack, and trys to look for Lan Di among the crowd using the boys description:

"Hair Salon"

:Shenhua hung out under the hair dryer with a few of her recent friends:  
:Her friends were three females and they wore so much makeup that their faces looked plastic:  
:They sat grinding their nails and gissiping about nonsense that would lower your IQ:

Friend #1: So you took his car?  
Shenhua: Yeah, and he gives me money all the time. I don't know if he's trying to spoil me or get rid of me. He's so wrapped up in finding his man that even sex has lost it's taste.  
Friend #2: He's gay.  
Shenhua: No.  
Friend #3: He's totally gay girl. Open your flaky eyebrows! Put two and two together. He's giving up sex with you to find a guy? Ummm... sounds like he's more interesting in meeting this guy than satisfying you.  
Shenhua: But there's more to it...  
Friend #1: He's gay, end of story, i've seen pictures ok?! Totally gay, like, there's no more to it. You have to focuse more on yourself girlfriend. Look at your clothes. What's with that 15th century outfit you got going on?  
Shenhua: It's comfortable.  
Friend #1: It's repulsive. Before the day is over, your going to be a one hundred percent stage girl, modern day terms, mmmkkk?  
Shenhua: I guess...

"Streets of Guilin City"

:Ryo gets frusterated:  
:His eyes dim weak:  
:His body suckers his mouth dry:

Ryo-san: I can't lose him, can't lose him, CAN'T lose LAN DI!

:Suddenly Ryo spots Lan Di, or so he thinks:  
:It was best to go with a visual instinct or go home, so Ryo follows his gut and follows the man, far enough to be just barely visible:  
:The sun begins to set:  
:Nightlife starts to commence, and Ryo follows on until the man with the red shirt and blue pants reaches his destination:

Ryo-san:(Reading the destination sign) The Dragon Club?

:It was a club designed out of a dragon:  
:People were flooding in, and there was a long line stretching out to the street:  
:The club was hot, and focused mainly on the two mirrors:

Ryo-san: Lan Di!

:Ryo cuts to the front of the line:  
:The bouncer outside stops him:

Bouncer: Back of the line pal.  
Ryo-san: Excuse me, but I really have to to get in there.  
Bouncer: Do you have an appointment?  
Ryo-san: With Lan Di.  
Bouncer: Impressive, you know Master Sama's real name. You must be important.

:The bouncer moves out the way:

Bouncer: Enter.  
Ryo-san:(Stands cockily) Y-Yeah, and if this inconvenience ever happens again, I'll make sure you shove fish with ice for the rest of you life pal.

:Ryo walks in:

"Dragon Club"

:Ryo looks around and sees that the dance floor was full of security:

Ryo-san: I need backup.

:It was sad that the only person he could think of was Shenhua:  
:He found the nearest phone and paged Shenhua:  
:Shenhua calls back:

Shenhua: Speak.  
Ryo-san:(Talking fastly and cluttering his words) Shenhua! I found the belly of the beast! I need a distraction!  
Shenhua: And I crashed your car.  
Ryo-san: You what?!  
Shenhua: Some guy rear ended me.  
Ryo-san: Are you sure you didn't rear end him?!  
Shenhua: If I rear ended him I would of said I rear ended someone genius.  
Ryo-san: Listen, I don't have time to argue. Fuck the car, fuck what your doing, fuck you, later I hope, and just come down to forth street I found where Lan Di is.  
Shenhua: Ok, and I'm suppose to walk there?  
Ryo-san: Does Ryo want a woman in his life?  
Shenhua: I don't know, does Ryo WANT a woman in his life?  
Ryo-san: Your suppose to answer this woman.  
Shenhua: Oh so now I'm referred to as "woman" now? I see where I stand in this relationship.  
Ryo-san: This isn't a relationship this is a partnership.  
Shenhua: Why is there music blasting in my ear?!  
Ryo-san: Cause I'm in a club!  
Shenhua: Oh, a club where Lan Di is huh? I guess you can wait until you gets hammered drunk and knock him off right there huh?  
Ryo-san: Ok, I'm through with you, you can no longer come back to the apartment.  
Shenhua: That's what you think, say goodbye to your sattelite television.  
Ryo-san: Don't you touch that sattelite!

:Shenhua hangs up:

Ryo-san: LORD HAVE MERCY!

:Everyone in the club was staring at Ryo:

Ryo-san: Hi. Hehe. (Under his breath) I guess I'm on my own with this.

"Back of the Dragon Club"  
"Lan Di's Office"

:Men came from all over the city to earn the 500,000 reward for the capture of the Pheonix Mirror:  
:Lan Di thought he had a brilliant plan underway:  
:Man #876 walks in the office:

Lan Di: Well?  
Man: I believe I have what it takes to be the Pehonix Mirror capturer!  
Lan Di: Well let your balls drop then.

:The man takes out a bag and scrunches it:  
:Lan Di's men play the drums behind him:  
:The man pulls out an average mirror. No stone. A see yourself mirror:

Lan Di: Ok, I'm going to say this to you in a more precise manner since it obviously didn't click with the other 875 men. STOP BRINGING ME A STUPID AVERAGE MIRROR! I have enough mirrors stored away in this club from people like you to put a damn fashion market out of business!  
Man: I-I'm sorry sir.  
Lan Di: Tell this to all of your friends, next time one of you brings me an average mirror, not stone, not looking like anything from the Flintstones, I'm just gonna snap! Plain and simple. I'm going to execute you, and it will not be pleasant... ok? See I don't get you people there's only a hundred pictures in this club of the mirror I want. Do you people stop by the kegs or something before you walk in here? I mean shit!  
Man: Yeah yeah, I'm taking this mirror then.  
Lan Di: You see this hair? I need as many of those mirrors as I can get, bring the mirror to me.  
Man: Like hell!

:The man runs off:  
:Security trys to restrain the man but he pulls martial arts on them and lays them flat on the ground:

Lan Di: Impressive. I could use you on Chi Yu men.

:The man pulls of his wig and drops his attire:  
:Ryo appears before Lan Di:

Ryo-san: Never will I surrender.

:Lan Di stands up:

Lan Di: Ahhh, so you've figured out my ways young child.  
Ryo-san: Cut the crap Lan Di! I know you've been brainwashing these people with all these drinks and these lights you have in this club just so they'll do your dirty work. Well let me tell you something, there's only one person who knows where your other mirror is and that's ME!  
Lan Di: Well no shit, it's not like I had to pick up a book about learning Rocket Science to figure that one out.

:Ryo balls his fists:  
:His veins pop through his dusted, worn out skin:

Ryo-san: Prepare for the fate that has been following you ever since you first walked on my property you skumbag.  
Lan Di: Seriously, you expect me to fight you here? The music is loud, the setting of this battle is entirely too dull, I mean we want this fight to be... well, perfect. Right?  
Ryo-san:(Starting to do what he hated most, think) (Unsure) Right.  
Lan Di: Right. So let's set up an appointment.

:Lan Di takes out his log book:

Lan Di: When are you free? I'm hardly ever free.  
Ryo-san: Tommorow I have dinner with Shenhua, but I'll probably just blow that off and play some games at the arcade instead.  
Lan Di: So is that a go?  
Ryo-san: No! I have to break the record in QTE Title! I have a bet going on.  
Lan Di: How about the day after tommorow?  
Ryo-san: Hmmmm... can't.  
Lan Di: Jesus.  
Ryo-san: They got those new girl pants coming out. You know how I love girl pants. Half the time I can't even feel my legs because my circulation is cut off.  
Lan Di: Can't help you then. I'm booked.

:Lan Di moves towards the back wall:

Lan Di: But we will meet again...  
Ryo-san: You better pray.

:Lan Di enters a code on the wall, a secret chamber opens, and he dissappears:  
:Ryo snaps out of his weariness:

Ryo-san: Wait, what just happened? Did I just let Lan Di escape? God I;m so stupid! I have to go back to my stakeout pad and figure out what to do next...


	2. The bargaining of Ryo and Shenhua

Episode 2: S

Episode 2: S.I. 3

"Jungle fever"

/

(Ryo's Notebook):

Found some important information last night

Lan Di is still in town!  
Must find more information about his Dragon Club

What is his business here?  
Is there more to his visit than that club?

Need to ask locals about club

Trying my hardest to shake off this killer hangover I have  
That girl last night,

call her back?

Never allow Shenhua to see this page, I'll probably tear off this section later on,

it's good to have,  
let's me know I still am a player

a player who hasn't scored yet

make sense?

No clue.

(End of Entry)

"Guilin City"  
"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:Ryo finishes his entry:  
:He takes a second to stretch then decides to go see what Shenhua was up to:

"Shenhua's Room"

:Shenhua places her last small tree near the bed to complete her view of the jungle:  
:Ryo walks in:  
:Shenhua stands back to takes a deep breath of satisfaction at her accomplishment:

Ryo-san: If we let a monkey go in this room I don't think it would know the difference.  
Shenhua: Oh hush Ryo, you complain about my work too much.  
Ryo-san: I think you should try to adapt to a more suitable environment. That's all I'm saying.  
Shenhua: I grew up in the wilderness. The wilderness is where I'll stay. I'm not the one with just a bed and a few cardboard boxes lying around.  
Ryo-san: I need to keep a clear mindset if I'm ever to find Lan Di.  
Shenhua: I think I'll get a goat to go with my collection.  
Ryo-san: Oh no. You are not getting a goat. I'm not having no goat drinking out of my toilet.  
Shenhua: What if I drank out of your toilet?  
Ryo-san: Well then you better brush your teeth afterwards.  
Shenhua: Why? It's not like we'll be kissing afterwards.  
Ryo-san: Grrrr. Uhhmm, so would you want a skateboard or a bike?  
Shenhua: I'm good walking. Thanks.  
Ryo-san: No no no, we're getting you a bike, since you love to crash people's cars.

"The local store"

Ryo-san: How about this one?  
Shenhua: Ah, too modern.

:Ryo shiffles over:

Ryo-san: This one?  
Shenhua: Too shiny.

:Ryo takes out his notebook and starts to write an entry:  
:He seemed frusterated:

Shenhua: What are you writing?  
Ryo-san: It's personal.  
Shenhua: You know, you don't have to write every part of you life.  
Ryo-san: No, just the important parts.  
Shenhua: Why is this important?  
Ryo-san: 'Cause your not going to be in the way any more when I can easily just use a car to go find Lan Di. You can just peddle along.  
Shenhua: Why can't I ride in the second seat.  
Ryo-san: Because last time you did you jumped out of the car because you thought the road was a big tredmill.

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:It was nighttime, and a long day had passed searching for Lan Di:  
:Ryo decided to lay his time card down for one night and relax:

Ryo-san: Shenhua!

:There was no response:

Ryo-san: Shenhua!

:Nor again:  
:Ryo walks into Shenhua's room, a few birds smack into his face but nothing serious, and she was nowhere in site:  
:Ryo got worried. It was too late at night to be riding a bike:  
:He decided to go search for her:

"Highway"

Ryo-san:(looking at the windows frantically) Shenhua where are you?

:He'd been checking the local area for nearly three hours:  
:Then he realized:  
:Ryo saw a sign entitled "Guilin City Zoo":  
:He took the exit:

"Guilin City Zoo"

Shenhua: Shenhua!

:A security guard walks up to Ryo and shines his flashlight in his face. holding his gun tightly:

Guard: Excuse sir, the park is closed right now.  
Ryo-san: It's an emergency. I need to get in there.  
Guard: Come back tommorow morning.

:Ryo spots Shenhua's bike from a distant:  
:She wasn't on it:  
:Ryo evades the guard and hops the front fence:

Guard: Stop right there!

:Ryo keeps running, following the fresh tree scent of Shenhua:

Shenhua:(from a distance) RYO!  
Ryo-san:(following the call) Shenhua! Where are you?!  
Shenhua: In here! In this cage!  
Ryo-san: Cage! What?! Your in the city Shenhua not the wilderness!

:Ryo comes to the cage:  
:The cage was big:  
:The cage alone scared Ryo, not even knowinf what was in it:  
:Shenhua was curled up in the top of a tree inside the cage, holding onto a branch, shaking:

Ryo-san: I don't even want to know how you got in there.  
Shenhua: I'm scared Ryo. I'm scared.  
Ryo-san: I'm scared to and I'm not even in the cage! Your one daring woman Shenhua.

:Ryo listens to Shenhua's instructions on how to get into the cage:  
:Ryo slips in and stands at the bottom of Shenhua's tree:

Ryo-san: Hop down. I'll catch you.  
Shenhua: RYO WATCH OUT!

:Ryo hears a growl behind him:  
:He stiffens:  
:He slowly turns his head and gets a good visual of a great massive black bear:

Ryo-san: Yeah, that's no Lan Di.  
Shenhua: Help me Ryo!  
Ryo-san: Fuck you. Bye!

:Ryo starts to run:  
:He starts to think about how Shenhua saved his life back in the river a few months ago:

Ryo-san: Oh fuck...

:Ryo turns back around and trys to climb branch to branch to reach her:  
:The bear reaches the bottom of the tree and trys to stand up to snatch ahold of Ryo's foot:  
:It bites his foot and trys to tug him down:  
:Ryo holds out his hand to Shenhua:

Ryo-san: Grab my hand!  
Shenhua: I'm sorry! I thought I could handle the bear.  
Ryo-san: Don't worry about it just take my hand. I'm about to lose a foot you ignorant woman!

:Shenhua seizes Ryo's hand:  
:He shakes the bear off by kicking it on his nose:  
:Ryo helps Shenhua down and quickly escorts her out of the cage:

Ryo-san:(making it safely out of the cage) Don't you ever make me do that again! I just lost some self esteem in myself! I'm probably going to have to kick Lan Di in the balls before I fight him now.  
Shenhua: Oh Ryo!

:Shenhua lunges up on him and starts to kiss him:

Ryo-san: I hope you haven't gone near any toilets today.

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

Ryo-san: I've never made love before.  
Shenhua: Let's just have sex then. I really don't feel that much for you yet but your bravery tonight kind of turned me on.  
Ryo-san:(lifting an eyebrow) Did I look like a brave caveman.  
Shenhua: Ahhh I wouldn't go that far but you looked good for the pussy Japanese boy I thought you were gonna turn out to be. Plus, if your my destiny, I'm sure your not all too bad.  
Ryo-san: Ok.  
Shenhua: When we have sex, think of me as a tiger.  
Ryo-san: That's disgusting.  
Shenhua: No it's not. It takes the edge off of things.  
Ryo-san: You spent TOO long in the wilderness.  
Shenhua: It's a start.  
Ryo-san: I think I'm starting to feel some Jungle Fever.  
Shenhua: You too?  
Ryo-san: Viva La Jungle baby!

:Ryo swings Shenhua off her feet, holds her tight, and closes in for a kiss:

Shenhua: Where did you get the moves?  
Ryo-san: The Hazuki Style branches out a little.  
Shenhua: I hope your Hazuki is bigger than your moves.  
Ryo-san: I wouldn't count on it.

"Ten Minutes later"

:Ryo lays in bed:  
:Shenhua lays next to him, dissappointed:

Ryo-san: Sorry we couldn't take the next step.  
Shenhua: It was your choice.  
Ryo-san: I'm just not ready yet. I mean, do you really want to be doing it and have me imagining Lan Di the whole time?  
Shenhua: Why would you do that?  
Ryo-san: You spent too much time in the wilderness, I spent too much time in the Dojo.  
Shenhua: Ugh.  
Ryo-san: Goodnight!


	3. Fukusan's Responsibility

Episode 3: S

Episode 3: S.I. 3  
"Man of the House"

/

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

:Fuku wakes up bright and early:  
:He walks into the kitchen and makes himself a little breakfast:

Fuku-san: (laughing erratically) Ryo-san, do you want me to make you anything?

:There was no response:

Fuku-san: Geez Ryo-san, try something new this time.

:He places both plates on the table and starts to eat:  
:Ine-san walks in with her hair sticking up in the air, her wrinkles extra noticeable, and in her pajamas:

Ine-san: I'm having friends over.  
Fuku-san: Like that?  
Ine-san:(looking at her appeal) Ah shit, I'm loosing my mind. Get a job Fuku-san.  
Fuku-san: Did Ryo have a job?

:He looks across the table at his imaginary imagery of Ryo:

Fuku-san: See.  
Ine-san: I know your not having breakfast with Ryo-san again.  
Fuku-san: Of course. Did you think this plate was yours?  
Ine-san: I usually eat it anyways since Ryo-san is across the Pacific Ocean.  
Fuku-san: How can he be across the ocean if he's right here.  
Ine-san: That does it! I'm calling the therapist.  
Fuku-san: I'm calling Animal Control.  
Ine-san: I can't live like this anymore Fuku-san! Let Ryo-san go! Let's move on with our lives! Him leaving was hard enough, and I seem to be loosing a second child as well!

:Fuku ignores her and continues to eat:

Ine-san: Now I'm having some friends over later. Go out, do what you have to do, but I want you out in an hour.  
Fuku-san: Ok, Ryo-san and I will just hang out at the arcade. I think the arcade got a new videogame machine. The hype is all around Yokosuka.  
Ine-san: Whatever.

:Ine-san walks out of the kitchen:

"China"  
"Guilin City"  
"Down the street from Ryo's Apartment"

:Ryo was posted up outside with a large sign in his hands:  
:The sign read, "If you can speak Japanese, talk to me!":  
:It took nearly two hours until a young man approached him:

Young Man: I speak Japanese.  
Ryo-san: Great, listen, I need your help.  
Young Man: Hey I'm not from around here. I'm not even from Japan.  
Ryo-san: It sounds like you can speak it fluently enough though.  
Young Man: I can speak it as fluent as you want for a hefty price.  
Ryo-san: Why does everyone want money in this world?  
Young Man: It makes the world go round. The sooner you learn that, the sooner your in the gold my friend.

:Ryo pulls out 400:

Ryo-san: Good enough?  
Young Man: Deal, and buy me a beer later and we'll be even.  
Ryo-san: Deal, ok there's a girl up in my room…  
Young Man: (interrupting) What does she charge?  
Ryo-san: (frantic whisper) No no! She's not a prostitute.  
Young Man: In that case, I'll take another 200.  
Ryo-san: No deal. Listen. I need you to watch her and make sure she doesn't go anywhere. I have some important business to take care of. I'm the man from the East. Your temporarily in charge of a prophecy here!  
Young Man: Fine, but I'll need your apartment key.  
Ryo-san: I can't do that.  
Young Man: No deal then.

:Out of the corner of his eye, Ryo spots what looked to be one of Lan Di's, black suited, guards walking down the street ahead of him:  
:Ryo wasn't absolute, but it was worth a run down:

Ryo-san: (impulsively) Here take them. The Red Wall Hotel, Apt. 223.

:Ryo drops his keys in the young man's hands and runs off towards the guard:

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"  
"Fuku's Room"

Fuku-san: (on the phone) I specifically asked for the deluxe Virtua Fighter package. The one you gave me is missing three of the fighter dolls.  
Operator: I'm sorry sir, we can have the right package delivered to you in five working days.  
Fuku-san: Well you better get yourself in gear or I'll start playing Street Fighter….. yeah, Street Fighter. Then I won't want your package anymore. I'll want the Ultimate Street Fighter package.  
Operator: We certainly don't want that sir.  
Fuku-san: You bet your Virtua Fighter Lvl 12 ass you don't want that, and that's a lot to bet.  
Ine-san: (randomly picking up the other phone) Fuku-san get off the phone!  
Operator: Thank God.

:Operator hangs up:

Fuku-san: Make me you horses ass!  
Ine-san: I thought I told you to leave the house!  
Fuku-san: I'm a little kid in a grown man's body! I can do whatever I want!  
Ine-san: God why couldn't you of gone to China instead of Ryo-san?!  
Fuku-san: Because Ryo-san wouldn't of been the star of the Yokosuka Virtua Fighter Championships!

"Virtua Fighter Championship"  
"A Few Weeks Earlier"

:Fuku was up to the top of the championship, and his opponent for the title…:  
:… a nine year old boy from Yugoslavia:

Fuku-san: (banging on the controller buttons) Come on sucker!

:The little boy remained focused and didn't show any form of emotion:

Fuku-san: (lifting one leg up in the air) Come on! Come on! I got you cornered now Akira! OH NO! OH OH OH!

:Fuku had just less than a inch of power left:  
:It was a close match:  
:Finally, Fuku knocks the little boys character out:

Fuku-san: (slamming his controller on the ground in joy) YES! OH YES!

:The little nine year old hangs his head in shame:

Fuku-san: (pointing at the nine year old and break dancing) SUCK MY SHIT! EAT IT LIKE A MONKEYS ASSHOLE!! HAHAHHAHA!! (singing) You lose, you lose, little boy you lose. OH YES! You lose, you lose, who lose? You do!

"China"  
"Guilin City"

:Ryo gained on the guard, but remained out of site for the majority of the time:  
:He got closer and closer:  
:The guard turned into a mildly lit area with very few people:  
:Ryo got close to make his move:  
:Out of nowhere, he was attacked from behind and put in an arm lock by the other black suited guard:  
:The guard in front of him turned around and smirked:

Ryo-san: I guess my hunch was right.  
Guard: You Japanese are so stupid.

:The guards laugh together:

Ryo-san: When I find your master, I'm going to kill him. Then, I'm coming after you two.  
Guard #1: Right. Why don't you leave this place? Master Sama gets more enjoyment out of watching your mindless acts of misery than just finding you and destroying you.  
Ryo-san: I don't care what you do to me. I will never stop hunting Lan Di!  
Guard #2: Unless…

:Guard #1 nods his head, and again with another smirk:

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:The young man creeps in:

Young Man: Hello? Anyone here?

:The young man trails around for a few minutes then comes across Shenhua's room:  
:Weirdly, the room got to him:  
:The trees moved, the ornaments made monkey sounds, and the smell reeked:

Young Man: (breaking down) AHHHHHHHH!!

:Shenhua walks up behind him, bare naked:  
:The young man stops screaming and turns around towards Shenhua:

Shenhua: Hi.  
Young Man: AHHHHHHHH!!  
Shenhua: AHHHHHH!!  
Young Man: AHHHH!!  
Shenhua: Who are you?!  
Young Man: Who are you?!  
Shenhua: I'm Shenhua.  
Young Man: Shenfah?  
Shenhua: No no no Shenhua.  
Young Man: Uh, right! I'm the man from the East.  
Shenhua: I already found the man from the East.  
Young Man: He lied to you. He's from the West.  
Shenhua: Hmmm…

:The young man gets on his knees and takes Shenhua's hand:

Young Man: How may I be of service?

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

:The main phone rings:  
:Ine-san answers:

Ryo-san: (speaking quickly) Ine-san!  
Ine-san: Oh hello Ryo-san. How's your trip going along?  
Ryo-san: Oh it's going along alright! I have those men in black suites looking for me right now! I barely got away!  
Ine-san: What did I tell you about those good looks you have? I just didn't expect you to go this far.

:Fuku walks up:

Fuku-san: Who's that?  
Ine-san: (handing the phone to Fuku) It's your friend…. RYO-SAN. HE'S ON THE PHONE, NOT IN THE HOUSE.  
Fuku-san: (answering) Ryo-san! You have to tell me how you did it! You were right behind me a second ago!

:Ine-san slaps her forehead:

Ryo-san: Fuku-san, hand the phone back to Ine-san. I need to talk to someone important.  
Ine-san: (answering once more) Ryo-san, he's out of his mind. He think's you're here!  
Fuku-san: (from a distant) Oh there you are Ryo-san! How was your trip to China?!  
Ine-san: (to Ryo) You see what I mean!  
Ryo-san: Shit! No time to talk. I'll call you later Ine-san! Take care of Fuku-san.

:Ryo hangs up:

"China"  
"Guilin City"  
"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:Ryo walks in and due to the previous circumstances, he forgets completely that Shenhua lives with him and that there's a man in his apartment:  
:He walks into the bathroom and takes off his shirt:  
:A knife slash mark is revealed right below his right shoulder:

Ryo-san: (tapping at his mark with a warm piece of cloth) Blast it! I'm about sick of this mockery.

:He takes off his pants next, revealing a few bruise marks:

Ryo-san: I need some air healing. I'll just do what I always did back at home when no one was home.

:Ryo strips himself and walks out of the bathroom, bare naked, and let's the air close of his wounds faster:  
:He stretches:

Ryo-san: You know? Being away from home has it's good side.

:Ryo walks into his room:  
:He lights a few candles, lays out on his bed, crosses his legs, and rests his head on his hands:  
:Very distinctively, he starts to hear moaning noises in his closet:  
:Ryo gets very insecure, covers up his genitals, grabs his bedside lamp and holds it strikingly, and heads for the closet:  
:Shenhua walks out of the closet, bare naked, the young man walks out holding her hand, bare naked as well, and both laughing at each other's sex jokes:  
:They completely didn't realize Ryo was standing right in front of them:

Ryo-san: What the hell Shenhua?!  
Shenhua: (blinking constantly) U-Uh.. hehe.. R-Ryo-san!  
Young Man: Dude, it's not what it looks like.  
Ryo-san: You both our naked!  
Young Man: Dude. So are you.  
Ryo-san: (examining himself) So what?! I uhhh… was lying down… and I sleep naked.  
Shenhua: You certainly do not.  
Ryo-san: Shut up Shenhua! No one asked you.  
Young Man: I guess my job here is done. And dude, don't worry about the beer.

:The young man runs out:  
:Ryo and Shenhua stare at each other:  
:Moments went by before any words were spoken:

Ryo-san: Am I good enough for closet time? Look closely.  
Shenhua: (quickly glancing down, then back up at Ryo's face) Ehhhh… you do have some muscle.  
Ryo-san: (looking at his muscles) Yeah… (he smiles)… you like that huh?  
Shenhua: Sadly, muscles aren't everything. I'm going to get dressed.

:Shenhua walks out of the room:  
:Ryo flexes his arms:  
:He kisses his humps:

Ryo-san: (making a sad face and nodding his head) I have muscle. (smiling again) Alright! Lan Di is in for it big time now.


	4. A bad day for Yu Suzuki

Episode 4: S

Episode 4: S.I. 3  
"Free As A Bird"

/

"2008"  
"SEGA"

:The employees at Sega finish off the last string of Shenmue 3:  
:They cheer in relief, but the worst is about to happen:  
:Yu's two closest workers gather outside of Yu Suzuki's office, holding the final, working project, on a disk, of Shenmue 3 in their hands:  
:They take deep breaths, then proceed into the office:

"Yu Suzuki's Office"

:The men stand before Yu Suzuki:  
:Yu's backside of his chair was faced before them:  
:He turns his chair around:  
:He had a cat in his lap, simply stroking it:

SEGA Employee #1: Yu… we have the final copy of Shenmue 3 right here.  
SEGA Employee #2: It took forever. But, it's official now.  
Yu Suzuki: Hmmm… I see…  
SEGA Employee #1: Would you like to approve it now?  
Yu Suzuki: Burn it.  
SEGA Employee #1: B-But… Yu?  
Yu Suzuki: Burn it I say!  
SEGA Employee #1: I will NOT burn it. This piece of work right here is the milestone of hope and joy to millions of videogame players in the world. I will NOT burn it. What's with you anyways? I thought you were all for this game?  
Yu Suzuki: If you do not burn it, you both can find yourself another job.

:SEGA Employee #2 snatches the game from #1's hands:

SEGA Employee #2: I'll burn it for fucks sake!  
SEGA Employee #1: (trying to wrestle the game back) No-you-will-NOT!

:Yu stands up:

Yu Suzuki: Ah, well, not that we have that taken care of, I'd like you to excuse me gentlemen.

:Yu unbuttons his work shirt, takes it off, and reveals his Ryo jacket and white t-shirt underneath, then his working pants, revealing his dark blue jeans:

Yu Suzuki: I have a killer to catch.  
SEGA Employee #2: (leaning over near #1's ear) (whispering) Don't tell me he's pretending to be Ryo again?  
SEGA Employee #1: He is. He is. Dear God.  
Yu Suzuki: The series I love so dearly will never end. Don't you see gentlemen? Not only will Ryo never die, but he will live on, in real life. AS ME!  
SEGA Employee #1: Oh Dear God.

:Yu walks out, sticking his head back for one last remark:

Yu Suzuki: So long men.

:Yu walks off:

SEGA Employee #2: He's finished. I say good for him!  
SEGA Employee #1: I say get your head out of your ass! We need to save our leader! He's in trouble.

:SEGA Employee #1 grabs his coat:

SEGA Employee #1: I'm going after him.  
SEGA Employee #2: What are you gonna do?  
SEGA Employee #1: Pray.

"1988"  
"Guilin City"  
"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:Shenhua walks into the living room and sees Ryo sitting down and staring forward, not blinking once:

Shenhua: Our you being one with nature Ryo-san?  
Ryo-san: No. I'm imagining Lan Di in front of me. That way, when I see him in person once more, I won't be so overwhelmed. I'll be used to his presence.

:Shenhua sits on Ryo's lap:

Ryo-san: Shenhua please! Your breaking my concentration.  
Shenhua: Do you want to know what I do to relax?  
Ryo-san: I don't care. Sorry. Now please, I'm trying to concentrate.  
Shenhua: I pretend like I'm a bird. That always seems to ease my mind.  
Ryo-san: You mean you flap your arms and everything?  
Shenhua: I just call my bird, and he takes me anywhere I want to go. I just hold onto his legs and I tell him my destination, and I'm there!  
Ryo-san: That's a strong bird.  
Shenhua: Many believe that my bird came from the 14th century when knights secretly attacked other empires from the sky.  
Ryo-san: I have to see this.  
Shenhua: Let's head for the roof. I'll show you.

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

:Fuku awake bright and early:  
:The house never seemed so quiet:  
:He walks out of his room, looks down the hallway which seemed so narrow:

Fuku-san: Hello?

:There was no response:  
:No one seemed to be home:  
:Fuku checks Ine-san's room, only to discover that most of her important belongings are gone:  
:The phone rings:  
:Fuku answers:

Fuku-san: Hazuki Dojo.  
Ine-san: Hello Fuku-san.  
Fuku-san: Ine-san. Where are you? I need some Milk from the store.  
Ine-san: I decided to stay at a friends house for a while.  
Fuku-san: Will you ever come back?  
Ine-san: You need to grow up. I figured a few days in the real world would do you some good.  
Fuku-san: So I have to act mature now?  
Ine-san: Are you mature Fuku-san?  
Fuku-san: No.  
Ine-san: Then this will do you some good. I will return when I think your grown enough.  
Fuku-san: Awesome!

:Fuku hangs up:

Fuku-san: Wait… this is bad. Isn't it?

"Mcdonalds. 2008."

Manager: Clean the kitchen, Yu. Then hop on the Cash Register.  
Yu Suzuki: (dressed in his McDonalds outfit) Alright.

:Yu walks into the kitchen and sees a Big Mac wrapper on the floor:  
:He charges for the wrapper and kicks it into the trash can like Ryo did the soccer ball in Shenmue 1:  
:He turns to his right and double blow's the microwave door shut:  
:The SEGA Employee #1 walks in and waits for Yu to come back up front:  
:Yu walks back to the front, breaking a sweat and out of breath:

Yu Suzuki: What would you like today?  
SEGA Employee #1: Yu…  
Yu Suzuki: Might I recommend a double quarter pounder?  
SEGA Employee #1: YU! Get a grip on yourself! Look at you.  
Yu Suzuki: This is the way thing's have to be. If your not going to buy anything, then step aside. I'm trying to work my way up to Store Manager.  
SEGA Employee #1: You already are a Manager Yu Suzuki. A manager of Shenmue, and Sega. And you're a damn good one. So cut the crap! Let's go back to SEGA. You and I. Besides, don't you hate being on a cash register all the time?  
Yu Suzuki: Well I also do drive through. I hate it when black cars come through though. I had a perfect picture set for a black car. Ya know? The Chinese Mafia type kinda like Lan Di's. But around here, it's usually drug dealers with shiny rims sitting on 24's that blast rap music.  
Manager: Hey! Suzuki! Break a leg will ya?! I don't pay you 5.50 to stand around and suck people's dicks!

:SEGA Employee #1 jumps over the counter and puts his arm around Yu:

SEGA Employee #1: He's not doing anything anymore. He's coming back to Sega. Isn't that right Yu?  
Yu Suzuki: Uhhh…  
Manager: Who the hell are you?!  
SEGA Employee #1: Just call me a friend, pal. This man right here is above you and all of your buddies here. In a few days, he'll have ALL of you fired.

:All of the employees start brusting in laughter:

Mcdonalds Employee: Dude, he's got an IQ of like 30.

:SEGA Employee #1 signals somebody with his hand:  
:A whole team of paparazzi run into the store and surround Yu:

Reporters: Mr. Suzuki! How do you feel about your success?! What do you have to say?!  
Yu Suzuki: I-I…  
SEGA Employee #1: Go ahead Yu, let it out. It's your time to shine.  
Yu Suzuki: I'm speechless. I'm so happy for Shenmue.  
SEGA Employee #1: There you go! So how about that Sega, Yu?!  
Yu Suzuki: Sounds GREAT!

:The counter cleans to the side, the McDonalds floor turns into a club floor, and a disco ball lowers from the ceiling:  
:Yu walks forward onto the floor in his McDonalds outfit, tosses off his hat, and starts to dance and sing…:

Yu Suzuki: (singing) No! I won't back down! Yes! I will go back to Sega! Yes! I'll do fine!  
No one will take the credit for what I started, unless that man is MEEE!!

:The McDonalds employees and the Paparazzi start to dance in the background:

Yu Suzuki: (singing) Yes, I'm free, free from his life,  
I will go along with this finale of Shenmue with all of my might,  
I am the Father, the Emporer, the God of this masterpiece,  
And I will stomp over anyone's ass, who disagrees, with my own two FEEET!!

McDonalds Employees: (singing in an echo) Feeeeeeeet.  
Yu Suzuki: (singing) This is my time to shine, no more games, no more lies, can't you see?  
There's a man out there that's going to shine, right now in time, and that man is Yu Suzzuuukkiii!!

:SEGA Employee #1 runs up to Yu:

SEGA Employee #1: (singing) There's millions waiting for you, let us go now, my friend,  
There's a limo outside that you must attend.  
Yu Suzuki: (singing and shaking his index finger at Employee #1) Hahaha. You are right, but first, I have to finish off my day here, I work from two o' clock to night.

:The music dies:

SEGA Employee #1: Are you kidding me?

"Guilin City. 1988."  
"Roof of Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:Shenhua whistles:  
:A big gust of air pounds Ryo and Shenhua:  
:A average sized bird appears in the sky, swooping down with the wind as it's guide:  
:The bird glides over the two and rests in the air:

Shenhua: Grab ahold of his leg. Quickly.

:Ryo and Shenhua grab a leg and are immediately lifted into the air by the bird and before they knew it, the apartment was distant:

Ryo-san: (the wind making it hard to hear) Shenhua you were right! This is awesome!  
Shenhua: I know! I do it all the time when I have to travel long distances!  
Ryo-san: Why didn't you come to Japan then?!  
Shenhua: I did! Didn't you ever hear of that land slide three years ago?!  
Ryo-san: No.  
Shenhua: Then nevermind! But this is great! Hey, where do you want to go?!  
Ryo-san: Hawaii sounds nice!  
Shenhua: I figured I'd drop you somewhere in the middle of the Artic Ocean. I heard the fish around that area are going extinct because of a food shortage!  
Ryo-san: Put this bird down RIGHT NOW!  
Shenhua: Hahaha I'm kidding! Relax Ryo-san!

:Shenhua yanks on the birds leg:  
:The bird looks down:

Shenhua: (to the bird) Take us to the highest peak of Guilin!

:The bird makes an odd sound and shifts direction:

Ryo-san: (looking uncomfortable) Uhhmm… Shenhua?!  
Shenhua: Yeah?!  
Ryo-san: My arm is starting to feel weak. I think we may have to take a break!  
Shenhua: Nonsense. This bird doesn't take breaks. It's got a schedule of it's own you know?  
Ryo-san: Then your about to find yourself a new Man from the East because my arms about to give out!  
Shenhua: Oh tuff it up you pussy!  
Ryo-san: This isn't going to be good…

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

:Fuku calls his closest friend:

Fuku-san: (on the phone) Hey Ateiro-san! Wanna come over and play some Virtua Fighter?  
Ateiro-san: Not today. I'm busy.

:Fuku calls another friend:

Fuku-san: (on the phone) Hey Bodu-san! Wanna play Virtua Fighter?  
Bodu-san: Fuck off. I don't even like you.

:Fuku hangs up the phone:

Fuku-san: That about sums up my phone book. Hmmm.. what to do, what to do…

"Fuku's Room"

:Fuku takes out his daily planner and checks off his list of "Thing's To Do When Your Fuku":

Fuku-san: (checking off) 1.)Stare at the Cherry Tree all day. Check.  
2.)Spare in the Dojo. Check.  
3.)Get Ryo to spare with me at least once today, or at least touching him is good enough. No check.  
4.)Kill Ine-san. Why do I keep putting that off?  
5.)Play Russian Roulette with my dick and a blender.

:Fuku looks at his check box:

Fuku-san: Hmmm.. #5 is already checked.

:Fuku puts away his planner:

Fuku-san: Sometime's there just isn't enough check boxes. I think I'll just go to the arcade. I believe I have a tournament to win.


	5. The Dragon Mirror

Episode 5: S

Episode 5: S.I.3  
"Lost and Found"

/

"Yokosuka. 1963."

:Iwao rides his bike through the town, followed by Ryo's Mother closely behind, trying to keep up on her bike:  
:They had just gotten married:  
:Iwao was in his tuxedo and Ryo's Mother was in her wedding dress, making it quite hard to peddle since the back end of her dress was dragging roughly on the road:

Iwao: Come on sweetheart! Our new house is abroad!  
Ryo's Mother: I can't wait! I'm so happy, and tired too. Can we take a break my love?  
Iwao: Nonsense! We're so close! Your gonna love this house!

:Iwao rings his bike bell:

Iwao: Hehehe.  
Ryo's Mother: Well wait up please. I'm falling behind.  
Iwao: Your Barbie doll bike will never catch up to my Mongoose!  
Ryo's Mother: (smiling brightly, but struggling at the same time) Iwao! Honey, my legs are really giving out on me.

:The backend of her dress gets tugged under the back wheel, sending her flying backwards and onto the pavement:

Iwao: (not even noticing the crash, and continuing his determined push towards the new house) This is gonna be great. I'll have the biggest house on the block. The name Hazuki will never go unheard!

:Ryo's mother catches up and rides alongside Iwao:  
:Her dress was torn with dirt stains and there were bruises on her face:

Iwao: Oh! Hey hey hey. There's my sugar muffin.  
Ryo-san: (growling) You little-  
Iwao: (interrupting) Oh think fast!

:Iwao tosses a stick in the middle of her front tire:  
:Ryo's mother goes flying, making at least three 180's:  
:Iwao laughs:

Iwao: Hahahah… god this breeze feels good!  
The Voice of Yu Suzuki: (a very deep, stern voice from the sky) Iwao…  
Iwao: (swerving) Gah! Who's there?!  
The Voice of Yu Suzuki: Build me a prophecy.  
Iwao: A prophecy of what?!  
The Voice of Yu Suzuki: Something tells me that woman behind you may lead the way.

"Outside the Hazuki Residence. 1963"

:Iwao and Ryo's mother arrive at the front gate:  
:Iwao picks up Ryo's mother and holds her like a man does right after the finale kiss at the wedding:  
:He carries her to the front gate:

Ryo's Mother: (with her arms gallantly around Iwao's neck) This is the greatest day of my life.  
Iwao: This is the greatest thing I've ever lifted in my life!

:Iwao tries to open the gate:  
:It wouldn't move:  
:Suddenly, a voice comes on from a little box to the side of the gate:

Box: Please deposit 100 YEN for entry.

:Ryo's Mother looks at Iwao, worried:

Iwao: Do not worry sweetheart. Daddy has it under control.

:Iwao puts her down, slips 100 Yen into the box, and carries her through the gate and up to the front door:

Ryo's Mother: I love it Iwao! This house is perfect for You and I. And maybe a few little critters in the future huh. Hehehe.

:Iwao trys to open the front door:  
:Another box said, "Please deposit 300 YEN:

Iwao: Oh for Christ's sake!  
Ryo's Mother: Maybe we should get this changed?  
Iwao: I am. As soon as security answers my phone calls this is ridiculous!

:Iwao searches through his pockets, then puts on a blank face:

Iwao: Do you have 300 YEN sweetheart?  
Ryo's Mother: No.  
Iwao: (to himself) Why did I attack the champagne before the wedding?  
Ryo's Mother: You did what?!  
Iwao: I said, "I was sane until after the wedding".

Ryo's Mother: Oh.

:Iwao looks at her funny:

Ryo's Mother: Honey?

:The front window shatters and in comes Ryo's Mother, flying through specks and large pieces of glass:

Iwao: (reviewing the mess) I definitely could of took a better approach to that.

"The Hazuki Residence. A few minutes later"

Ryo's Mother: Iwao! You shouldn't have!

:There was a table set up in the kitchen, a clean white table cover, roast beef and vegetables covered under foil, two candles lit, champagne chilling on ice, and elegant music playing from the background:

Iwao: (uncorking the bottle) I figured, being the nice Hazuki that I am, I'd have a nice little treat waiting for Mrs. Hazuki when she got home.  
Ryo's Mother: I love it!

:Iwao pops the cork off:  
:Moments later, the cork flies back and hits Iwao in his forehead:

Iwao: (taking a few moments to realize the pain that he was in) OooooooooooWCH!!  
Ryo's Mother: Oh baby! Are you ok?!

:A ghost man walks through the wall and laughs:

Iwao: Did you do that?!  
Ghost Man: Sure did. Hey, we still haven't moved out yet.  
Iwao: Your dead! Accept it! Move on to the next world.  
Ghost Man: Not without you doing something for me.  
Iwao: Excuse me sweetheart.

:Iwao takes the ghost aside:

Iwao: (whispering) Alright man. Here's the deal. I just got married today…  
Ghost Man: Very nice.  
Iwao: …. And all I want to do is get this romantic dinner out the way, say a few words like, "Oh baby you're the best you make my heart shine." And away to the bedroom I go.  
Ghost Man: I see.  
Iwao: But in order to do that, you need to leave. Go haunt some other house your making me look crazy here I mean I'm in the corner trying to negotiate with a ghost here. Help me out Casper.  
Ghost Man: I hate to be the beerier of bad news but you have a prophecy to fulfill.  
Iwao: You know I already heard that today. What the hell is going on?

:The Ghost Man snaps his fingers:  
:Iwao blinks his eyes and he appears in front of the Dojo:

Ghost Man: (presenting the Dojo) The prophecy!  
Iwao: It looks like a 17th century slave boat that got washed up on shore.  
Ghost Man: You have a long ways to go.

:Iwao opens the Dojo doors:  
:The doors screech open:  
:Iwao was instantly slapped with numerous cob webs and a stinch so horrible you'd think the trash outside was fresh:  
:He walks in and the Dojo doors shut behind him:  
:The Ghost Man disappears:

Iwao: (in pitch black) Hahaha, real funny.  
Voice of Yu Suzuki: Build me a prophecy, Iwao.  
Iwao: I don't get it! What prophecy?! Jesus Christ I had my wedding today!  
Voice of Yu Suzuki: Leave Jesus out of this. You are too much of a wimp to raise the great Ryo-san for his journey.  
Iwao: Wait, I know that name! That's the name of my wife's personal trainer. I swear they have a thing going on because she's been on me about naming our son that.  
Voice of Yu Suzuki: You will face your biggest fear in this Dojo. This fear, I trust, will help you become a stronger man for young Ryo-san in the future. How about putting forth some effort too, I got money riding on this you fool.

:The lights in the Dojo switch on:  
:Iwao moves back and forth, putting up his fists:

Iwao: (full of confidence) Ok. I'm ready! I'm ready! I've never been so ready before in my life. I wish I knew exactly what "ready" means. But whatever because that's the best part! Come on! COME ON!

:A massive spiders appears on the ceiling and it had to of been bigger than Iwao:

Iwao: (stopping in his place) Oh…..shit.

:The spiders shoots a web at Iwao:  
:Iwao rolls to the side, dodging the deadly web:  
:The spiders drops to the floor and charges for him:  
:He gets up fast and dives over the spider, wrapping it's head into a chokehold:

Iwao: (riding the spiders defense maneuvers from up top) Yeah! How you like me now?! Huh! You big giant FREAK!

:The spider shoots a few weak webs before it reaches it's death by Iwao's superior grip:

Iwao: I need a drink…

:Ryo's Mother runs into the Dojo, spotting Iwao tugged up against a gigantic, dead spider:

Iwao: I understand if you want to leave me now…

(Ryo's Journal. 1988.)

Recently, through my strong will and drive to finish thing's that I have started, I realized that Father wasn't that bad of a father.

He had his low times

But who doesn't?

When I'm in a bad situation,

I always think,"What would Father of done?"

Helps me out a lot.

Here in China, sometime's just the littlest thing's I do remind me of him.

It doesn't quite make any sense, but that's why I have a journal so no one will have to listen to my depressing rambles.

I discovered that the man in charge Lan Di's Storage, where he keeps all of his secret belongings and maybe even the Dragon Mirror, attends local arm wrestling competitions

If I start winning them,

Will he notice?

Must check out Arm Wrestling and get good.

End of Entry #2.

"Local Arm Wrestling Competition"

:The competition was held in a rich part of town:  
:The people who participated in this seminar were of skinny business men, office clerks, and run down rednecks who weren't from the area:  
:Ryo was in his forth round and going strong, slamming wrists left and right:  
: No one even came close, and competitors lost a lot of money:  
:Ryo looks around the large crowd gathering around that he formulated from his success:  
:It was hard to tell who Lan Di's secret man was, but all he could do was keep on slamming hands:  
:After about the fifth or sixth round, a ruff neck, oil on his hands, type man sat down across from Ryo:  
:Ryo put his elbow on the table and grasped the man's hand:  
:They began:  
:…….. this was the longest match yet for young Ryo:  
:The man actually made Ryo's face start to turn red:  
:But the man wasn't just there for business:  
:Ryo could tell by the rough man's eyes:

Ryo-san: (trying to beat the man) I need to ask a favor.  
Ruff Man: (slowly getting the best of Ryo in the match) I'm not letting you win kid.  
Ryo-san: I won't end this match until you give me the key to one of your clients rooms.  
Ruff Man: Ha. So you too huh?  
Ryo-san: ??  
Ruff Man: A variety of people come to me and ask for keys to other people's storage rooms: the Mafia for secret business, ex girlfriends trying to get back at their boyfriends, etc etc. What makes you think I'll do you this favor? Your already losing.

:Ryo takes a quick evaluation of this status:  
:With all of his might, he edges the man's hand over to his side:

Ryo-san: I wouldn't be too sure about that.  
Ruff Man: (smirking) I like you kid.

:The ruff man quickly beats Ryo:

Ryo-san: (holding his wrist in shame) Damn…  
Ruff Man: Follow me.  
Ryo-san: Really?!

:Ryo and the man walk off:

"Hazuki Residence"

:It's been a few months that Fuku has been on his own:  
:And so far…. He's not doing TOO bad…:  
:Fuku sits in the living room watching tv:  
:The electricity goes out:  
Fuku-san: Not again…

:The electricity comes back on:

Fuku-san: Yes!

:The electricity goes back off:

Fuku-san: This is ridiculous!

:Fuku runs out of the house and to the nearest payphone:  
:He calls Ine-san, his last and only hope:

Ine-san: (answering) Yes, Fuku-san?  
Fuku-san: Alright. Enough of the games. Come back home NOW Ine-san!  
Ine-san: I thought you were doing fine on your own?  
Fuku-san: Well, I'm not. If you don't come home now, you'll be sorry. I'm a very dependent person Ine-san!  
Ine-san: I can see that.

:She hangs up:

Fuku-san: MOTHERFUCKER DILDO SHOVING BITCH!!

:Fuku breaks the payphone, then knocks over the booth:  
:He runs back to the house and figures he'd relieve his stress over a nice, hot bowl of soup and a QTE Title Match at the arcade:  
:It didn't matter that the electricity was going to be shut of permanently and that the house may be seized and put up for sale, he just wanted his soup:  
:Fuku sets the stove on high and starts to bowl the soup:  
:He puts on a t'shirt and some jeans and heads for the arcade, completely forgetting about his soup on the stove:

"Guilin City"  
"Storage Hut"

Ruff Man: This should be your seekers room…  
Ryo-san: (anxious) Open it up.

:The man opens the door and moves to the side:  
:Ryo walks in and sees about ten large boxes stacked on top of each other:

Ruff Man: I'll give you twenty minutes…

:The man walks away:  
:Ryo takes a deep breath, and begins his masquerade:  
:One box after another, he tore open and tossed behind him what he didn't need:  
:Ryo found various things throughout his scavenge like: old dusted pipes, different color wigs, three different kinds of Chinese dragon robes, a young picture of Alfred Hitchcock, a naked young picture of Alfred Hitchcock, a load of baseball cards that were worth little to no value, and a 1978 Issue of Playgirl that showed Lan Di on the cover bare naked with a little red rose blocking his privates and entitled, "Why not start the 80's with this body, ladies?":

Ryo-san: (slamming his previous discoveries on the floor) Nothing!  
Ruff Man: Times up.  
Ryo-san: Just ten more minutes please. This is important.  
Ruff Man: Alright, but only because your not like my last few people who I caught in the room sniffing the underwear.  
Ryo-san: I might have to sniff Lan Di's underwear for clues.  
Ruff Man: (turning into his alter ego) I-I knew it…. y-you sick fuck! Your like the rest of 'em!  
Ryo-san: (dumbfounded) Pardon me?

:The man walks up to Ryo, grabs a handful of his hair, and starts ramming Ryo's face into the ground:

"Yu Arcade"

:Fuku lifts his hands in victory:

Fuku-san: 380,000 points! I rule!  
Arcade Owner: (listening to his radio) Hahaha, can you believe it? Some idiot left the stove running and now his house is on fire.  
Fuku-san: Hahaha what a loser.

:Fuku starts another QTE Title game:

Fuku-san: Oh no!

:Fuku sprees out of the arcade:

"Hazuki Residence"

:Fuku runs past all of the fire trucks, ambulance, and police:  
:The smoke burning from the house rose up far into the air:  
:Luckily, only a small portion of the house was burnt:  
:Fuku makes a complete u-turn and walks to the nearest payphone:

Ine-san: (answering) Fuku-san, if you call me one more-  
Fuku-san: Jesus Christ Ine-san the house is on fire!!  
Ine-san: MY GOD!  
:Fuku hangs up on her:  
:He leans back on the booth, puts his hands in his pockets, and smiles:

Fuku-san: That should shake some of her wrinkles. Hehehe.

"Guilin City"  
"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:Ryo walks into Shenhua's room:  
:His face was torn up, his hair looked like he got electrocuted, and he was missing his brown jacket:

Ryo-san: (holding up the Dragon Mirror with pride) Shenhua…. (he takes a deep breath) I have it.  
Shenhua: The Phoenix Mirror? I know.  
Ryo-san: The Dragon Mirror.  
Shenhua: Oh so your making up mirrors now Ryo-san?  
Ryo-san: N-No… this is the OTHER mirror…  
Shenhua: Hahaha, what craft shop did you make that at Mr. Imaginative. I thought you had better thing's to do on your spare time.  
Ryo-san: (turning red) I'm about to throw you out the window.  
Shenhua: Just kidding! Come on, get a sense of humor.  
Ryo-san: Ha ha ha…. Whatever. Hey, come on, we're going back to that cave to complete our manifest.

"Outskirts of Shenhua's House"  
"Abandoned Cave"

:Ryo and Shenhua stand before the totem that cause that great floating sword:

Shenhua: Hey Ryo-san, the sword is still floating!  
Ryo-san: Not now Shenhua, I'm trying to concentrate.  
Shenhua: Ahhhh it's so shiny. Makes me wanna Wooga Wooga!  
Ryo-san: Huh?  
Shenhua: Ya know, the dance? (singing) Shake it shake it all night long, I wanna feel your body baby your doing it all wrong. You know?  
Ryo-san: No.

:Ryo places the two mirrors in their slots:  
:The cave starts to rumble:

Ryo-san: Dear God! Shenhua! Hold on to me!

:Shenhua hugs Ryo tightly:

Ryo-san: Whatever happens, I want you to know, I'll always love you!!

:A secret cave door moves to the side:  
:The darkness of the secret room poured out into the room:  
:Ryo and Shenhua look deadly into the room, awaiting for what was next for their adventure:  
:Out of the pitch black of the room, a man walks out:

Shenhua's Father: (wearing a birthday party cone on his hand) Surprise!

:He popped confetti:

Shenhua: Father!  
Shenhua's Father: Shenhua! You did it!

:They both hug, smiling brighter than ever:

Ryo-san: (standing in the back, pissed) W-What? That's it?  
Shenhua's Father: You passed the test. And better yet, I realized that my daughter can accomplish anything! I'm so happy for you sweety!  
Shenhua: I missed you Father. Never leave me again.  
Ryo-san: This is bullshit!

:Ryo picks up a large piece of phantom river stone and chucks it at Shenhua's Father's head:  
:Shenhua's Father gets knocked out cold to the ground:

Ryo-san: Have a taste of your own medicine you prophecy destroyer!!  
Shenhua: Oh my God Ryo-san!

:Ryo stammers out of the cave, mumbling cuss words to himself:


	6. A day in Guilin

Episode 6: S

Episode 6: S.I.3  
"Never give up. Never surrender."

Start of Season 2!

/

(Ryo's Journal)

I found where Lan Di keeps his prized belongings

Got the Dragon Mirror!

Must intertwine with Phoenix Mirror in the cave!

Wow, what a waste,

Just when I began to think I did something successful, it all turned out that the cave was one big prank by Shenhua's father.

I overreacted a tossed a piece of phantom river stone at him

He's been in his house ever since, and left me no time with Shenhua

What am I good for anymore? I was completely let down…

End of Entry #3.

"China"  
"Guilin"  
"Shenhua's House"

:Shenhua was stroking her father's hair, singing him those lullabies he used to sing to her when she was young:  
:Shenhua's father had a white bandage wrapped around his head from the strike he took from Ryo earlier that day:

Shenhua: (singing while stroking her father) Hush little piggy, don't say a word. You're the choice for chopped beef tonight so run and don't be heard….  
Shenhua's Father: (mumbling and glazy) I don't like that one. Sing me "Running by the River".  
Shenhua: (singing) Running by the river, better not trip and fall. Your chances or living are slim maybe none at all….  
Shenhua's Father: These songs are putting me down…  
Shenhua: Well, I'm just singing the one's that you used to sing to me.  
Shenhua's Father: Pumpkin I was high off that mountain weed every time.

:Shenhua smiles, kisses her father on the forehead, and makes him a cup of her fresh, homemade tea:

Shenhua: You sleep now.

:Shenhua's father turns his back towards Shenhua and starts to suck on his thumb:  
:Shenhua smiles, you could see the love in her eyes:  
:She walks to her porch and gets a magnificent view of the Shenmue tree:  
:Ryo was by the tree, punching it and kicking it angrily:

"Shenhua's Lawn"

:Shenhua flees out of her house and to the Shenmue Tree:

Shenhua: Ryo-san! Ryo-san! Stop that at once!  
Ryo-san: (impulsively punching and kicking the Shenmue Tree) There's nothing you can do for me now Shenhua! Step back and watch this tree be destroyed!  
Shenhua: But think about that poor, innocent tree! What did it ever do to you?  
Ryo-san: It called me names like, "Ryo! You're a geeky little Japanese kid who jacks off to Anime all day!".  
Shenhua: That is ridiculous.  
Ryo-san: I'm aiming for this useless, large chunk of bark to fall off the cliff in that direction. Here, Shenhua, get on the other side so when the tree tumbles I can say it was an accident. Maybe grab a rake so it'll look convenient. Then I'll run in the other direction and arrive at the scene like, "Oh my God!... ah, oh well, that's too bad…"  
Shenhua: I will not do such a thing! Ryo-san, I understand that you're a little mad about that mirror incident.  
Ryo-san: Mad? No. But look at the hair…

:Shenhua looks up at Ryo's hair:

Shenhua: Ok….?  
Ryo-san: See anything different?  
Shenhua: I see some white stuff. Oh yeah, hehe, and you have a bald spot, hehe.  
Ryo-san: My hair isn't spiked you dumbfuck!  
Shenhua: I swear I was going to say that next.  
Ryo-san: Now you know I'm having a bad day!  
Shenhua: Ryo-san, I have a solution. Follow me. I have to show you something.  
Ryo-san: Nothing will change my mood but go ahead.

:Ryo walks off with Shenhua down a dirt path and down the mountain:

"Shenhua's House"

:Shenhua's father was sound asleep when suddenly, he heard a growling noise outside:  
:He eyes slam open:  
:His mouth extracts a purple color and his veins bulge out of his skin:  
:He starts to shake:

Shenhua's father: It's here…

:He leaps to his feet, removes the carpet near his bed, revealing a secret, wooden door:  
:He opens the door and dust falls from the top:  
:Inside the secret, wooden floor door was a canoe (fit for one person), a couple paddles, different types of carpets, pieces of useless phantom river stone, a fake wooden right leg and a shotgun:  
:Shenhua's father pulls out the shotgun and the fake right leg:  
:He takes off the fake right leg he had already and replaces it with his Deluxe Speed Running right leg:

Shenhua's Father: (cocking the shotgun) It won't get me again!

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

Ine-san: Ladies. In order to achieve womanly power. We have to act now!

:Five other women sat at their tables, jotting down notes:  
:Ine-san stands before them, pointing at her white board and explaining:

Ine-san: (strongly) No longer will we be brought down by the power of the male ego. If we're to do something, we need to act now!

:The other women nod their heads:

Ine-san: Take out your numb chucks women!

:The women pull out numb chucks and start to swing them around:

Ine-san: Now remember, never be afraid to use your taser and pepper spray. Their all in the red bag I gave you, and don't dig too deep into the bag, there's a mouse trap at the bottom. Don't ask, when the right time occurs, you'll know when to use it.

:Fuku abruptly walks in:

Ine-san: Fuku-san get out!  
Fuku-san: Hey who in here wants to see my NEW tattoo?

:The room was silent:

Fuku-san: (getting excited) Anyone? Anyone?

:Fuku starts to pull down his pants:

Ine-san: Not now Fuku-san! Jesus Christ do you have a brain? I'm working here.

:Fuku looks at a specific woman:

Fuku-san: (winking) Do you want to see my new, secret tattoo?  
Ine-san: (thinking quickly) Women! Exercise #1! Fuku-san here is trying to rape you, what do you do?

:All the women stand up and start to run towards Fuku-san with their tasers:  
:Fuku-san pulls down his pants all the way and turns his bare ass towards everyone:

Fuku-san: (pointing out his tattoo) Look! Snoopy! Hahahah!

:Fuku gets tasered, multiple times, in his right ass cheek:

Fuku-san: (jittering) HOOOOOLLLYY FUCK!!

"China"  
"Unidentified Dirt Path"

:Ryo and Shenhua walk alongside of each other:

Ryo-san: I feel much better now.  
Shenhua: We haven't even gotten there yet.  
Ryo-san: I know, but I believe just a good walk did me some good.  
Shenhua: Well I'm glad. I was beginning to think I had to pull you aside somewhere along this path and make out with you. You seemed so down.  
Ryo-san: Luckily for you you didn't. I brushed my teeth last night with your father's toothbrush. It didn't look like the cleanest toothbrush in the world.

:Shenhua keeps what that toothbrush was really used for to herself:

Shenhua: (keeping the conversation casual) Right. I still would of done it. Hehe.  
Ryo-san: (pointing ahead) Look Shenhua! Fireflies!  
Shenhua: Those aren't no fire fireflies…

:An innocent dear walks across the path:  
:The flies swarm around the dear and a few seconds later, the dear was left in skeletal:

Ryo-san: Oh dear.

"Shenhua's Yard"

:Shenhua's father walks around, holding his shotgun and whistling for his enemy:  
Shenhua's Father: Come here little creature you.

:It was until after a few minutes that he heard a growl behind him:

Shenhuas's Father: (smiling) I got you now.

:He turns around quickly and aims his gun:  
:A puppy pug stood there, resting on his bottom:  
:His eyes were so little and innocent:

Shenhua's Father: (to himself) Shoot it. Shoot the devil.

:The dog yelps and sticks its tongue out:

Shenhua's Father: (putting his gun to unarm) Well I guess you learned your lesson then. I still don't appreciate you taking my right leg but I guess I can forgive and forget. (talking in baby tone) Come here you little rascal.

:Suddenly, the dog leaps on to him and tries to go for his neck:

Shenhua's Father: Damn the devil! AHHHHH!!

:He shakes the little pug off and starts to run, shooting his shotgun aimlessly behind him, but the pug continued on his deadly mission:  
:He finds his way into the woods, but the deadly pug was close behind:

Shenhua's Father: (whispering) This means war Cerberus…

:He takes out a black oil pastel and marks underneath his eyes, rips his clothes, bulges out his muscles, and puts on his army hat:

Shenhua's Father: Let's dance.

"Secret Chamber down the Dirt path"

:Shenhua shows Ryo six stones revolving around a center pedestal:

Ryo-san: What is this?  
Shenhua: Before our time, ancient worshippers would gather here and worship the Dragon and the Phoenix God's. This was even before Father made this mirrors. The worshippers would sit on these six stones, and either the Dragon or the Phoenix would sit on the pedestal and take the honor.  
Ryo-san: Really?  
Shenhua: Then one day, recently I suppose, Father made those mirrors and it was the Dragon and the Phoenix's calling. They both put their souls into both mirrors, which you have.

:Ryo takes out the mirrors and looks deeply into them:

Ryo-san: I can see it! I feel like their pulling me in.

:Shenhua takes the Dragon Mirror:  
:She walks towards the pedestal:

Shenhua: I've heard this was just a legend. I want to find out something. Legend says, when you place one of these mirrors, even both, on this pedestal, the Dragon or Phoenix comes out. Their still trapped inside the mirror, but their lively shadows make it into our world, still trapped by the wrath of the mirror.  
Ryo-san: Interesting.

:Shenhua places the Dragon mirror first on to the pedestal:  
:A great wind wipes across Ryo and Shenmue:  
:Sparkles mixed with little explosions surround the mirror:  
:The Dragon flies out, being tugged back down onto the pedestal once he reached a certain height:

Dragon: (monstrous voice) YOU DARE AWAKENS ME!  
Ryo-san: (screaming like a girl) AHHHH!!  
Dragon: Why can't I move? W-What's going on?

:Ryo and Shenhua stand shaken with fear:

Dragon: Oh…. (the dragon starts laughing sarcastically) Ha ha ha.. so this is some kind of show huh? Go ahead, laugh at the Dragon. Go on. Laugh. I-It's like, I can't move and your standing their watching me, how funny. It's like, "Oh big goofy, dumb Dragon can't do nothing now". No, I understand. Laugh. Ha ha ha.

:The Dragon claps:

Dragon: Give yourself a round of applause.

:Shenhua then places the Phoenix Mirror on the pedestal:  
:The Phoenix flys out, it's roar screeching:  
:It looks over at the Dragon, both of them standing side to side:

Dragon: (his eyes turning deadly) YOU!  
Phoenix: (fearful) U-Uh… hi.  
Dragon: I remember you. Phoenix!  
Phoenix: N-No. I'm a big pelican.  
Dragon: Don't think I didn't forget what happened the last time we spoke!  
Phoenix: (standing nervously) N-No. I happened to not of forgotten. Listen, ummm Dragon? Can't we just leave the past behind? Start new.

:The Dragon balls his fists:

Dragon: Not a chance in hell! Your mine now PheDICK!  
Phoenix: I hate it when you call me that! DIE!

:The Phoenix punches the Dragon:

Phoenix: Oh shit. I-I'm so sorry. Dragon, that was a mistake. Dragon look at me… MISTAKE! Ok?  
Dragon: I guess….  
Phoenix: (wiping the sweat of it's face) Phew.  
Dragon: Now DIE!!

:Ryo grabs both of the mirrors:  
:The Dragon and the Phoenix disappear:

Ryo-san: That was odd….

"Woods on the Outskirts of Shenhua's House"

:Shenhua's father crawls in the mud, camouflaging himself:  
:A drum beat plays in the background like they sounded back in the Civil War:  
:He holds his shotgun close:  
:The pug was nowhere in site, but that didn't fool him… not again:  
:Shenhua's father crawls over something hard:  
:He digs his hand in the mud and pulls out his right leg:  
:Flies dove in and surrounded the leg:

Shenhua's Father: That's where you went.

:He digs the leg back in the mud:

Shenhua's Father: (continuing to crawl) I'll come back for you. Just keep the flesh!

:The evil little pug comes out of nowhere and pounces on Shenhua's father:

Shenhua's Father: Ah! Devil DOG!!

:The dog starts to lick him:  
:Then he noticed, the evil pug now had a collar:

Shenhua's Father: A collar? You were adopted?

:The little pug smiles, then walks off:  
:Shenhua's Father waves off the little pug, then starts to tear up:

Shenhua's Father: (crying and waving) Goodbye little fellow! Good luck!

:He starts to cry so hard, he falls back inside the mud:  
:He finds his right leg and holds it close to him, rocking back and forth:

Shenhua's Father: All I have now is you right leg.

/


	7. The Proposal

Episode 7: S

Episode 7: S.I.3  
"Another Sunny Day…"

/

"Japan.1987"  
"Warehouse #8"

:Master Chen sits at his office desk with his legs propped up on the desk, reading exuberantly "Doing It The Easy Way, Lose Weight In 30 Days!":

Master Chen: (resighting what he had just read) 30 minutes on the treadmill, eat a sufficient diet: green foods, a lot of fish, and reward yourself with half of a dark chocolate bar afterwards, (adding in his own input) and well I jogged around the warehouse and came in through the back… I really have to jog around the whole warehouse if I'm going to lose some of these spare tires.

:He finishes off the last of his second Snickers bar:

Master Chen: (laughing at what he had just read while stuffing his mouth) Ha! Look at this one… (reading) Avoid any such foods such as pies, light chocolate, too much dairy food or drink, and candy bars such as Snickers and Milky Way.

:He licks his fingers clean:

Master Chen: Ah fuck it.

:He tosses the book on the trashcan, on top of other such books such as "How To Be A Better Father" and "Tips On How To Conquer Vegas", all equally becoming failures:  
:The intercom at his desk beeps:  
:Gui Zhang's voice comes on:

Gui Zhang: (over the intercom) Father, I need you.

"Gui Zhang's Room"

:Gui Zhang was laid out on his bed with his leg in a cast and his other leg sprained from his incident with Chai, propped up on his bedpost:  
:Surrounding him was an empty large pizza box, three wrappers to honey buns, empty soda cans, and a Sega Saturn:  
:Master Chen walks in:

Gui Zhang: Father, can you order me another pizza?  
Master Chen: Why don't you do it? There's a phone right next to you.

:Gui Zhang reaches over for the phone, but it was too far for his reach:

Gui Zhang: C-C-C-Can't reach it.

:Master Chen walks over to Gui Zhang and takes Gui Zhang's crutches that were lying against his bed:

Gui Zhang: Hey! You took my legs!

:Master Chen lays the crutches down at the end of the room:

Master Chen: There. Now you will be forced to pick up the phone and order your pizza.  
Gui Zhang: (whining) I hate you Father!  
Master Chen: (smiling) I hate you too son.  
Gui Zhang: I'm never talking to you again! I don't need a pizza!

:Master Chen walks out:  
:Gui Zhang looks over at the phone, seeming so far away:  
:He takes a deep breath, then makes an attempt to reach for the phone without using his legs:  
:His arms start to shake, his jaw chatters, and his face turns cherry red:  
:Soon enough, he gave up and rested back on his bed:  
:He turns to his right and looks at his window:  
:He sees Master Chen jogging out of the front doors with his headphones on, sweat pants, a t-shirt, and a Nike headband, singing, "Against the wind, I'm still running against the wind…" which surprisingly sounded professional:

Gui Zhang: I hope that grimy old man gets run over by a forklift. Just a few more weeks, and I'll be well enough to get a plane ticket to China. Ryo-san needs my help.

"China.1988"  
"Shenhua's House"

:Ryo slept soundly, but his instinct told him there was work to do:  
:He opens his eyes slowly only to discover that Shenhua's father was sitting right next to his bed, staring at him:

Ryo-san: Ah! Lan Di!

:He gets startled and moves back to the bedpost, curling up in the corner:

Shenhua's Father: Relax. You'll need to for work today.  
Ryo-san: Work?  
Shenhua's Father: Breakfast is on the table. Eat quickly, we head for the woods at daybreak.  
Ryo-san: For what?

:Shenhua's father gets up, walks to the doorway, and turns around for his last remark:

Shenhua's Father: To hunt…

"Bailu Village"

:Shenhua shops at a stand store off the side of the main dirt road of the village:  
:She carries her personal wooden basket for her purchases:  
:She looks at the fruits first:  
:She had the option to chose from a fresh, red apple or a eroded apple with a warm sticking out:  
:Shenhua picks up three fresh apples and places them in the basket:

Store Lady: Why those apples?  
Shenhua: I'm a city girl now. This is how a city girl eats.  
Store Lady: Ahhhh, I've never known for any girl around this village to buy those apples. That explains their yellow teeth and enormously distasting bad breath  
Shenhua: Do you want to become a city girl?  
Store Lady: I would you! Could you?!  
Shenhua: Follow me.  
Store Lady: Uhhmm, you still have to pay for those apples.

"The Woods on the Outskirts of Bailu Village"

:Ryo and Shenhua's Father walk alongside each other, holding their hunting rifles:

Shenhua's Father: Now the thing you have to realize about hunting is no matter how long you have to wait, your pray will eventually come into your scope. Just takes time. No sudden movements, take your time and… LOOK QUAIL!

:Shenhua's Father shoots up at the sky:  
:He misses:

Shenhua's Father: Damn it! You were saying?  
Ryo-san: Y-yeah. Listen, ummm…  
Shenhua's Father: Call me Ed.  
Ryo-san: Like short for Eddy?  
Shenhua's Father: No. Short for Ediot.  
Ryo-san: That's "idiot" sir.  
Shenhua's Father: Don't backtalk me! I know how to spell! I went to school at Baihu Village Academy!  
Ryo-san: Never heard of it.  
Shenhua's Father: It was a very small school.  
Ryo-san: I see. Listen, sir, I'd like to ask you a question and I want you to be completely honest. I'm a little unsure myself but I think it would be the proper thing to-  
Shenhua's Father: (interrupting) Look! Another Quail!  
:He fires again and misses:

Shenhua's Father: Yeah! I'm getting a little better. I think I shot a wing this time.  
Ryo-san: You don't hunt often do you?  
Shenhua's Father: Only when nature calls my name son.  
Ryo-san: As I was saying, Shenhua and I have spent a lot of time together recently and I thought of asking her to-  
Shenhua's Father: (aiming up) Oh I got you this time QUAIL!  
Ryo-san: Not again….

:Ryo's only option was to overcome Shenhua's Father's voice)

Shenhua's Father: Follow. Aim. Follow.  
Ryo-san: I want to ask Shenhua to marry me sir!

:Shenhua's Father turns his gun accidentally, shoots a tree branch, and has it fall down on his head:  
:He passes out:

Ryo-san: Uh oh.

:A quail falls down behind Ryo, dead:  
:Ryo kneels down and starts patting Shenhua's fathers cheek, hoping to wake him up:

Ryo-san: Hey. You shot a Quail sir.

"Japan. 1987."  
"Asia Travel Co. Two Months after the Master Chen incident"

:Gui Zhang crutches his way up to the desk:  
:A muscular man sat for assistance:

Gui Zhang: (resting his armpits on the crutches) Hello.

Muscular Man: What do you know, my shift is over.

:The man walks off:  
:The usual Asia Travel girl walks out from the back, reading a magazine:  
:She doesn't take her eye's off the magazine:  
:She bumps into a wall knocking off a clock, she bumps into a desk knocking off all of the pencils and paper, then she finally reaches the desk bumping off all the flight brochures on to the floor:  
:She sits down and continues to read:

Gui Zhang: Excuse me.  
Girl: Not now.  
Gui Zhang: Ummm, excuse me?  
Girl: Geez. What?!  
Gui Zhang: I need a flight to China.  
Girl: (handing a boat brochure to Gui Zhang) Here they are.  
Gui Zhang: These are boat prices. I asked for a flight.  
Girl: Man are you picky.  
Gui Zhang: No. I tried to get a boat but the captain laughed at me and told me to walk my crippled ass elsewhere. Then I tried a train and they told me walk my crippled ass elsewhere.  
Girl: Well then walk your crippled ass elsewhere then.  
Gui Zhang: Look at me. I'm fine to get on a plane. No hazards on a plane.

:The girl finally looks away from the magazine and up at Gui Zhang:  
:The girl starts laughing:

Girl:(laughing) Your too injured for this flight.  
Gui Zhang: (immensely angry) If you don't book me a flight, I will take that magazine you've probably been reading all day long and shove it somewhere where you'll never be able to read it again!  
Girl:(looking back at the magazine) Are you threatening me?  
Gui Zhang: No. I'm actually being civilized here. You're the one who's making it hard.

:A surfer walks in, dressed up and ready for a surfing trip, holding his surfboard tightly:  
:Gui Zhang is polite and moves over for the surfer:

Surfer: Hey, can I get book a flight to Hong Kong please. The waves there are sick at this time of year.  
Girl: Sure. Here are the brochures.  
Skier: Thanks. Hey, your kind of cute. Did you fall from heaven or am I just crazy?  
Girl: (giggling) How nice of you. Here's my number…

:Gui Zhang crutches over and cuts the surfer off:

Gui Zhang: Give me my goddamn flight you WHORE!!  
Surfer: Hey dude, that's so not cool.  
Gui Zhang: (to the surfer) Shut it kool-aid breath!  
Girl: Security!!

"China. 1988."  
"Shenhua's House"

:Shenhua's father wakes up from a long overdue unconsciousness:  
:He had a warm towel on his forehead:  
:Ryo sat at his feet, reading over some of Shenhua's Father's papers he wrote long ago. Papers of martial arts:

Ryo-san: Morning sleeping beauty.  
Shenhua's Father: How long was I out?  
Ryo-san: About a day.  
Shenhua's Father: Geez.  
Ryo-san: I couldn't help to notice your writings. Did you or can you use martial arts?  
Shenhua's Father: Those days are long over. I put down my scrolls and papers and swore never to fight again.  
Ryo-san: I would love for you to teach me a thing or two. If you don't mind.  
Shenhua's Father: That's hard to say. I haven't practiced in a very long time.  
Ryo-san: I'm no newbie at fighting, or at this specific style, so I don't see it being a problem.  
Shenhua's Father: I'll see what I can do.  
Ryo-san: Thank you sir, oh and I wanted to ask you-

:Shenhua's father dims his eyes, then passes back out:

Ryo-san: …. if you wanted to sleep another day. Damnit.

:Ryo continues to care for Shenhua's father:  
/


	8. Introducing: Pretty Boy Luck

Episode 8: S

Episode 8: S.I.3  
"Vanished"

/

"Shenhua's House"

:Shenhua awakes bright and early:  
:She walks into Ryo's room to see what was planned for the day:  
:Ryo wasn't there:  
:She checks outside, Ryo wasn't there either:  
:She walks into her Father's room:

Shenhua: Father. Have you seen Ryo-san?  
Shenhua's Father: Sure haven't. Say Shenhua, how about you and I take a little walk down to the village?  
Shenhua: No. I'm fine. I just want to find Ryo-san.

:Shenhua's Father walks up to her, puts his arm around her, and tries to lead her out of the house:

Shenhua's Father: It's a beautiful day. Let's take a walk.  
Shenhua: (swiping his arm off of her) I said I'm fine. I'm going to look for him. I'll be back. I might stop by the village, want anything?  
Shenhua's Father: I'm fine. Have fun sweaty.

:She walks off, a little uneasy about her father's oddly nice mood today:  
:Shenhua's Father walks back into his room:  
:A tall man with long, straight blonde hair, a shiny golden tan and bright white teeth jumps out from under his bed:

Tall Man: Is she gone?  
Shenhua's Father: I told you I'd give you the sign when she was gone you idiot. I had a knock planned out and everything.  
Tall Man: Did she fall for it?  
Shenhua's Father: She's heading for the village. I want you to make your entrance on the path.  
Tall Man: What should I do?  
Shenhua's Father: What we rehearsed over and over. You're the Man from the East.  
Tall Man: But I'm an actor from New York.  
Shenhua's Father: Do you want this hundred thousand or should I find someone else?

:The Tall man hangs his head:

Tall Man: Yes….  
Shenhua's Father: Good. Your the Man from the East. Your intelligent, your witty, your handsome, your…  
Tall Man: A good fighter?  
Shenhua's Father: No. There's no green screens here. You suck at fighting anyways. Stay away from the woods. There are bears.  
Tall Man: Got it.  
Shenhua's Father: And don't get all cocky and think you can or you will get your ass kicked and I'm not exaggerating.

:He picks up the two mirrors: Dragon and Phoenix:

Shenhua's Father: Take these mirrors. They will help you. Just remember everything we went over. Now, head for that path!

:The Tall Man runs off:

Shenhua's Father: (from behind) And for God's sake, remember your name!

"Under the Shenmue Tree. A few days earlier."

:Ryo takes lessons from Shenhua's father, and was increasingly learning a lot by the minute:

Shenhua's Father: (sweating) You learn fast.  
Ryo-san: (sweating even harder) It's the Hazuki in me.  
Shenhua's Father: Now we're going to try for the Thunderbolt Punch. It's difficulty definitely lives up to it's name so I want close attention.  
Ryo-san: (nodding his head) Yes sir.

:Shenhua's father displays the punch:  
:It looked fairly easy. Nothing Ryo couldn't do:  
:Ryo stands straight, closes his eyes, takes in a breath of air,slowly blows out, then tries for the punch…:;  
:Shenhua's father cuts a palm explosion, one of his best sleeping techniques, to the back of Ryo's neck:  
:Ryo plummets to the ground, unconscious:  
:Shenhua's father looks over Ryo, then into the view peaks the Tall man:

Tall Man: Nice work.  
Shenhua's Father: Shut up and help me move him!  
Tall Man: Ok ok. Geez.

"A Random Shack in Bailu Village. Back to date."

:Ryo felt dizzy and disoriented:  
:He opens his eyes, completely oblivious of his surroundings:  
:He was tied to a steel chair:  
:He couldn't move his legs or his arms:  
:A guard sat in front of him, but was asleep:  
:Ryo tries to break free and accidentally knocks his chair over:  
:The guard snorts a few times, then awakes:

Guard: What are you doing?  
Ryo-san: I'll pay you whatever you want. Just untie me and let me go.  
Guard: (laughing) Yeah, right.  
Ryo-san: I always keep my word.  
Guard: Your scheduled to be executed at sundown. I'm sorry, but I have to keep my orders.  
Ryo-san: Who's orders?  
Guard: That I cannot answer. Now be quiet so I can sleep.

:The guard closes his eyes:

Ryo-san: I have to get out of here. Shenhua may be in trouble.

:Ryo tries to come up with a quick plan:

"Path towards Bailu Village"

:Shenhua walks, worried about Ryo:  
:She then spots a man, swinging from a tree root from tree to tree:  
:It looked quite impressive:  
:The man swings across the path and then lets go of his tree root, falling a long distance and landing safely onto the path in front of her:

Shenhua: I have to say, that were some moves you displayed up there.  
Tall Man: That was just a walk in the park. You should see me fight tigers and all of the other dangerous threats out here in the woods.  
Shenhua: I'd love to see that. But I already have a man who could take care of that.  
Tall Man: Has this man ever been eaten by a hundred foot whale and ate his way out of it as his only chance to survive?  
Shenhua: Hmmmm no.  
Tall Man: I have. It wasn't easy. Seeing you out here, I just couldn't notice but to ask your name. There are many beautiful sites out here, but you were by far the most beautiful thing that caught my eye.  
Shenhua: (blushes) It's Shenhua.

:The Tall man bows down and takes her hand, laying a kiss on it:

Tall Man: Pretty Boy Luck at your service…  
Shenhua: Could you help me find someone? I've been looking for him for a while and I just can't seem to find him.

:Pretty Boy Luck turns around, purposely letting the two mirrors fall from his pocket:

Shenhua: Hey! How did you get those?!  
Pretty Boy Luck: Why I found them. What? Your not accusing me of stealing them are you?  
Shenhua: The man I'm looking for is the owner of those two mirrors.  
Pretty Boy Luck. That's odd. I've had these two mirrors since I was a child, and they've always told me that I'd find the "one". The woman from the "West".  
Shenhua: But your too "pretty" to be the Man from the East.  
Pretty Boy Luck: How do you know about the Man from the East? Would you happen to be my Westerly bride?  
Shenhua: I'd love to believe you but umm…

:A ravenous black bear walks from the side and starts to roar:  
:Shenhua hides behind Pretty Boy Luck:

Shenhua: Ah! Do something Man from the East!  
Pretty Boy Luck: (thinking) Shit. She just called me the Man from the East. She's starting to trust me. I have to do something now. (out loud) Uhhh… yeah, Shenhua! Step back. I'll handle this.

:Pretty Boy Luck makes a dive on the bear and tries to grapple it from behind:

? Man: (through the bear skin) Pretty Boy Luck it's me!  
Pretty Boy Luck: Don't try and stop me through your mind tricks bear! DIE!  
? Man: It's Shenhua's father your weirdo. Just punch me a few more times and I'll roll over and die.  
Pretty Boy Luck: Hey nice outfit. It looked real. You actually had me worried.  
Shenhua's Father: Just shut up and punch me!

:Pretty Boy Luck knocks the mechanical bear upside his head a few times:

Shenhua's Father: Ok. I felt that one.

:The bear rolls over, kicks it's legs a few times, gargles, then dies:

Pretty Boy Luck: Nice…

:Shenhua runs over to Pretty Boy Luck and jumps into his arms:

Shenhua: Oh my God thank you! Ryo could never of done that! Please, I'll walk with you, Man from the East, but you still have to help me find Ryo-san.  
Pretty Boy Luck: I'm in your debt maim.

"A Random Shack in Bailu Village"

:The guard looks at his watch:

Guard: Supper time.

:The guard stands up, accidentally drops his knife that was resting on his leg, and walks out:  
:Ryo waits a few minutes, hops his chair towards the knife, knocks his chair over, and wiggles his hands until he has the knife:  
:He starts to cut away at the rope:

Ryo-san: I'm coming Shenhua.

"Later that Day"  
"Shenhua's House"

Shenhua: Father! Father!

:Shenhua's father was behind the house, trying to light the mechanical bear on fire to get rid of the evidence:  
:Pretty Boy Luck acted nervous:

Pretty Boy Luck: Will your father like me?  
Shenhua: If your REALLY the Man from the East, he'll love you.

:Shenhua's father walks in through the back, patting over a few extra ashes he had from the fire:  
:He was holding an almost empty whiskey bottle in his hand:

Shenhua: Father! I'd like you to meet someone. You see he has the mirrors, and wrestled a bear today for me. He says he's the Man from the East. You know? My destiny. The man from that poem I've always followed me whole life. His name is Pretty Boy Luck.  
Pretty Boy Luck: How do you do sir.  
Shenhua's Father: Hahaha.

:He puts his arm around Pretty Boy Luck:

Shenhua's Father: (excited) That bear was something eh? You know it took me almost an hour to crawl out the back of that thing's ass. Hahaha!  
Pretty Boy Luck: Uhhmm…

:Shenhua's father realizes what he said and turns around towards Shenhua, seeing her shocked expression:

Shenhua's Father: Yes sweaty. I fought a bear today and let me tell you, crawling through the jungle trying to hide from a bear is some challenge. You'll always have to end up fighting it.  
Shenhua: Good. Because I was worried.  
Shenhua's Father: Uhhhmm…

:The room was quiet:

Shenhua: Pretty Boy Luck?  
Shenhua's Father: Ah yes! Let's take a look here.

:He looks at Pretty Boy Luck for a moment:

Shenhua's Father: Man from the East alright. This guy's got East printed all over him. Marry him and have babies Shenhua, goodnight.

:Shenhua's father retires for the night:

Pretty Boy Luck: I think we should do what he says.  
Shenhua: I don't know. I miss Ryo-san.  
Pretty Boy Luck: (taking off his shirt, revealing his broad, pumped up muscles) But he isn't your destiny. I have searched my whole life for you Shenhua. You are my one and only true love.  
Shenhua: But the prophecy isn't just about love. It's more than that. It's about me being a guide most of all, and about the Eastern man to find his will and his courage. To develop himself. You seem to of already done that. I'm starting to have doubts here.

Pretty Boy Luck: (realizing that what he was going to be paid wasn't work it) Alright. If we don't have sex now, and you don't forget about Leo or whatever his name is, it's over. You can go to Japan and suck everyone's dick until you find your man from the East.

:Ryo barges in the house from behind:

Ryo-san: Stop right there!  
Shenhua: Ryo-san!  
Pretty Boy Luck: Leo? The hell you doing here?!  
Ryo-san: How dare you talk to Shenhua like that!

:Shenhua's father walks out of his room, holding the whiskey, in his underpants, and without a shirt:

Shenhua's Father: (interrupting everyone) Ok! Ok! This isn't working out! Everyone quiet! The gigs up!

:The room fell silent:

Shenhua's Father: This guy is not your Eastern hubby. Leo is or whatever your name is.  
Ryo-san: (turning red) Ryo!  
Shenhua's Father: Right. Leo…  
Ryo-san: Grrrr…  
Shenhua: Father! How could you?!  
Shenhua's Father: I know! I feel bad! Why do you think I'm drinking myself to death!

:He stumbles backwards:

Shenhua's Father: I really have to lay off the whiskey though.  
Pretty Boy Luck: Ha! You whore. You can have this spiky haired fag. You two are perfect together.

:Ryo punches Pretty Boy Luck in his face:  
:Pretty Boy Luck falls to the ground, holding a pool of blood from his nose:

Ryo-san: Father would spit at you!

:Pretty Boy Luck laughs, stands up, and heads for the door:

Pretty Boy Luck: You all will be hearing from my attorney.

:He walks out:  
/


	9. The Lost Treasure of the Phantom River

Episode 9: S

Episode 9: S.I. 3  
"Lost Treasure of the Phantom River"

/

"China"  
"Shenhua's Yard"

:Ryo walks past the Shenmue Tree:

? Whisper: Come back…

:Ryo stops and figures what he just heard was part of his imagination:  
:He continues to walk:

? Whisper: I need you…

:Ryo turns in the direction of the fainted whisper and looks around the Shenmue Tree:

? Whisper: Closer…

:Ryo walks closer to the Shenmue Tree:  
:A shadow starts to surround him:  
:He looks up and sees that the Shenmue Tree was bending down towards him:

Ryo-san: (blinking ominously) Whoa.

:The tree picks off a bundle of it's flowers with it's branch and hands them down to Ryo:  
:Ryo automatically gets a sudden overwhelming feeling of joy:  
:He drifts off into another world…:

"Drive Through Ice Cream"

:Ryo drives up to the drive through window, resting his arm behind Mrs. Shenmue Tree:  
:He wore a white t-shirt with palm trees on it, his hair was flat and water soaked from the beach with pieces of sand drifting off:

Ryo-san: (eyes beaming with happiness) The usual my love?  
Shenmue Tree: Hehehe. Less rich this time. I don't think my bark can take anymore sugar.  
Ryo-san: (snapping his fingers) I know just what to get.  
Drive Through Guy: Hi. What can I get you?  
Ryo-san: I'll have two strawberry yogurts please.

:He looks over at the Ms's:

Ryo-san: Non fat please.  
Drive Through Guy: (reviewing Ryo's order) Ok, so that's two, non fat, strawberry yogurts. Would you like anything else for you and your… uhhh…  
Ryo-san: (holding the Shenmue Tree close) My natural beauty? No. That's all.

:Ryo kisses the tree:  
:After the kiss, he picks out all of the dirt and small pieces of bark from his mouth:

Shenhua: (from a distance) Ryo-san!

:Ryo smiles at the Shenmue Tree:;

Shenhua: Ryyyoo-san!

"Shenhua's Yard"

:Ryo snaps back into reality:  
:Shenhua was behind him, shouting his name:  
:It took Ryo a minute to realize that he was groping the Shenmue Tree:

Ryo-san: (coming up with a quick explanation. He had too) Well you never give me any!  
Shenhua: You never asked.  
Ryo-san: You never cared.  
Shenhua: Oh I cared. Your just too gay to do something. I can't believe you cheated on me with a tree.  
Ryo-san: Hey! If it isn't human it's not cheating.

:Shenhua rolls her eyes at Ryo and walks back to her house:  
:Ryo looks back at the Shenmue Tree:  
:He puts his finger up to his mouth:

Ryo-san: Shhhh… we won't tell.

:He takes his finger from his lips and puts it on the tree:

"A Cliff behind Shenhua's House"

:Shenhua found her Father, curled up in a ball and enjoying the sunset overlooking Bailu Village:

Shenhua: Father. We have to cut down the Shenmue Tree, or I may never have time with Ryo-san again.

:Shenhua's Father starts to tear up:

Shenhua's Father: It's so beautiful.  
Shenhua: What?  
Shenhua's Father: The view. I just want to hug it and tell it everything's alright.  
Shenhua: Oh no. Your not getting into your Love of Nature mode now are you?  
Shenhua's Father: You know this is my only weakness Shenhua.  
Shenhua: Really? What about that time you ran around the house from that little cockroach all summer. When I asked you why you were so scared, you told me the cockroach came from the medieval times to kill you.  
Shenhua's Father: Please don't remind me. I don't want another one coming back to get me.

:Shenhua sits next to her Father:  
:She rests her hand on his leg:

Shenhua: I'll stay here with you.

"Shenhua's Yard"

Ryo-san: Hahaha. She bought it. She'll be out of my hair for the rest of the day.

:Ryo takes out the Dragon and Phoenix Mirrors:

Ryo-san: There's more to that cave. I have a feeling…

"Phantom River Stone Cave"

:Ryo walks up to the totem where he had to place the two mirrors:  
:He places them in their holders and the secret door from the wall opens:  
:Ryo takes his torch and proceeds slowly into the secret room:  
:There was a narrow pathway before him with the terrain eventually sloping downwards into darkness:  
:Ryo proceeded with caution:  
:He heard weird noises:  
:The farther he got, the less he heard of the cave's waterfall, then not after too long, he heard nothing but a few drips of water:  
:He came around a corner:  
:Before him lied a radiating golden light:  
:He went around the corner, and spotted a room full of TREASURE:  
:A large pile of golden coins, prized ancient golden artifacts, golden statues, golden scrolls, another golden you could think off:  
:Ryo got suckered in:  
:The gold gleamed greed and self absorption in his eyes:  
:He takes off his jacket, needing something to hold some of these things:  
:He emptied his pockets and moved forward:  
:Suddenly, three random guys rush past him with at least two large duffle bags each:

Guy #1: ( shoving the gold into his bag) Finally!  
Guy #2: It took forever dude.  
Guy #3: We're rich now! Hahaha!  
Ryo-san: (stopping in his place) Ummm.. excuse me?  
Guy #1: (ignoring Ryo) We're gonna make a fortune off of this shit!  
Guy #2: Yeah, I can't believe we watched that stupid whore in the orange all the time when we could of pinpointed this Japanese dude.  
Ryo-san: That's Shenhua, and she's not a whore.  
Guy #2: (ignoring Ryo) And what about that other dude? He's was dumber than her. Hahaha.  
Ryo-san: That's Shenhua's Father.  
Guy #3: Let's hurry up and snatch all of this before that retard over there gets any ideas!  
Ryo-san: I believe this treasure belongs to the cave and me.

:The men shoved their bags full:  
:Ryo had to think quick, otherwise he wasn't going to get in on any of this treasure:  
:He turns into a violent ego he never knew he had:  
:He takes his torch, turns it sideways, and seizes the men, starting to beat them:  
:He moved fast, wiping out one after another until all three were on the ground unconscious:  
:Ryo had a little blood on his white t-shirt and his hands, but it didn't stop him:  
:He quickly took all of the men's bags, loaded them up, and took off with most of the treasure:

"Guilin Village"  
"Small Hut"

:Shenhua brushes up the last her work to make one of the village girls into a city girl:  
:She hands the girl a mirror:  
:The village girl looks at herself and wasn't disappointed:

Village Girl: I feel like a new woman. Are you sure I won't have any problems getting the guys around the village to like me now?  
Shenhua: Walk out and see.

"Guilin Village"

:The village girls walks out of the hut and waits for an approach:  
:Shenhua stood behind her, waiting as well:  
:The village men kept on walking past the girl:

Village Girl: I failed…  
Shenhua: Look at this guy coming. He isn't a sight for soar eyes but hey we'll see what happens.

:A village bodybuilder walks past the girl:  
:He stops and takes a glance at her:  
:The village girl does a sexy pose:  
:The bodybuilder smiles and walks over to her:  
:Shenhua smiles:

Village Bodybuilder: You from around here?  
Village Girl: No. I'm from the city.  
Village Bodybuilder: Me too!

:The bodybuilder picks the girl up and rests her on his shoulders, running off with her:

Village Girl: (pleading for her life) Help me!  
Random Villagers: Hey is that girl getting kidnapped?  
Other Random Villagers: No big deal. She's not one of us. She looks like she's from the city.  
Shenhua: Oops.

"Shenhua's House"

:Ryo runs inside, shoves his bags under the bed he was sleeping on, takes off his t-shirt and shoves that under too, and runs quickly to wash off his hands:  
:Shenhua's Father walks in, his shirt off too:

Shenhua's Father: Nice muscles.  
Ryo-san: I try.  
Shenhua's Father: Looks like you could do some lifting. Maybe I can take a break at work for once and have you take care of some of it.  
Ryo-san: I'll pass but thanks.  
Shenhua's Father: No no no. If you want my respect, this is your best opportunity.

:He tugs Ryo out of the house:  
:Ryo looks back, eyeing down the room with his treasure:

"Outskirts of Bailu Village"

:Before Ryo lied at least thirty, twenty foot logs waiting to be lifted:  
:He and Shenhua's Father both had their shirts off, bearing their brawny muscles:

Shenhua's Father: Let's get started.  
Ryo-san: I don't know about all of this. I mean, I have a lot I'm going through right now and-  
Shenhua's Father: Grab a log or become a log.  
Ryo-san: (gasping) Fine.

:Ryo lifts a log and carry it up a hill, down the hill, and across a small field until he got to where he had to place it:  
:A few hours past, and Ryo was for sure he made some damage:

Shenhua's Father: (not even a drop of sweat) Just fifteen more logs to go.  
Ryo-san: (out of breath) I thought there were five.  
Shenhua's Father: The lumber men just brought in another ten.  
Ryo-san: Great.

:All Ryo could think and taste was the treasure:  
:At times, Shenhua's father would turn into treasure, distracting Ryo:

"Bailu Village"

:Shenhua tries to look for her Village girl:  
:She had no luck:

Random Villager: (running past her) Fight!

:He was followed by numerous other villagers:

Shenhua: Fight?

"Bailu Village Street Fight"

:Shenhua tries to make her way past the crowd of the raving village maniacs:  
:She gets as close as she could to the village fighting arena:  
:She spots Ryo being pushed into the arena by her Father:  
:Ryo was trying his hardest to back out:

Shenhua: Oh no.

:Ryo's challenger: A weird, buff man who liked to stab himself with spears and knives as a ritual:  
:The man was tattooed from his feet to head and had a tiger on his bare chest with red eyes and a message underneath that read "All in my path will experience my glory":  
:The man cracked his neck and his knuckles:

Ryo-san: Hi.  
Man: Ready to die?  
Ryo-san: Actually, I was just having the time of my life lifting some logs.  
Man: Oh I'll lift you alright.

:The bell sounds:  
:The man charges for Ryo and strikes him in his face:  
:Ryo falls to the ground:

Shenhua: Owch.

:Ryo was delirious and disoriented:  
:The man picks Ryo up with both hands, swings up around in the air, and tosses him over the crowd, over the fields, and out of site:  
:The referee runs into the arena and lifts the man's hand in victory:  
:Shenhua rushes towards the direction Ryo flew:

"Over Shenhua's House"

Ryo-san: (gliding through the air) My luck can't be this bad.

:He crashes through the roof of the house and lands on his back:  
:He lays there until he was barely physically capable to stand on his feet:  
:He limps into his room, grabs the bags under his bed, and snatches a few coins:

Shenhua: (from the doorway) Where did you get that?  
Ryo-san: (startled) A toy capsule machine.  
Shenhua: Look at you Ryo-san, you're a mess.  
Ryo-san: I don't care. The gold is mine! Back off!  
Shenhua: This gold is no one's. Put it back, Ryo. You have to have a clear mind if your ever to find Lan Di.  
Ryo-san: I don't care! I can find him easier rich as hell so shut the hell up!  
Shenhua: Unless your planning to spend the rest of your sexual life with my tree outside, I suggest you do so.  
Ryo-san: I don't care! I don't even like girls. Leave me alone.  
Shenhua: I knew that, but still, this gold isn't worth it. Look at you. I never knew you like this.  
Ryo-san: Hello I'm Ryo-san. I'm from the East and I'm a rich bastard now! Hahaha!  
Shenhua: This gold is my Father's. He spent his whole life tracking it down. It's his life. It's what he lives for. If you take that from him, you take his life and soul.  
Ryo-san: Really?  
Shenhua: Yeah.

:Ryo takes the bags and heads for the door:

Ryo-san: I'll put it back but I thought I had something good for a change.  
Shenhua: You have me. And now you have my Father's respect and trust. That's all the gold you'll ever need. Now let's find that Lan Di and put an end to this.  
Ryo-san: Y-You don't mind if….  
Shenhua: Ok, you got five minutes with the tree!  
Ryo-san: Thank you!

:Ryo runs off:

Shenhua: That boy sure is a freak. I'll get my chance…

:She thinks dirty thoughts:

Shenhua: Oh yeah. I'll get my chance. Hehehe.  
/


	10. The Lost Chapter

Episode 10: S

Episode 10: S.I. 3  
"Time is a Valuable Thing"

/

The Lost Chapter  
Chapter 2: Ryo's Journey from Yokosuka to Hong Kong

"The Boat. 1987"

:Ryo stands in his cabin:  
:He starts to unpack his belongings and store them in his dresser:  
:A man knocks on Ryo's door, then peaks his head in:

? Man: Are you Ryo?  
Ryo-san: Yes.

:The man walks in fully and shuts the door behind him:  
:He lifts his hand out for a shake:

? Man: I'm Trevor. It looks like we'll be rooming together.  
Ryo-san: (not really caring) I see.

:Trevor was an American:  
:He looked very young, barely past his twenties at most:  
:He didn't care much for his clothes because he traveled a lot, but was a very talkative and open minded fellow:

Trevor: So why Hong Kong?  
Ryo-san: Business.  
Trevor: Oh really? I'm going for business too. What kind of business?  
Ryo-san: Personal business.  
Trevor: I'm helping with the trade at the harbor. Not lifting those heavy boxes or anything, but more of "in the background" work. Like doing the papers, scheduling the times of the ship arrivals, ya know, stuff like that.  
Ryo-san: Ok.

:Ryo sits on his bunk and takes out the amulet that Nozomi gave him:  
:He looks at the picture inside and smiles:  
:Trevor looks over Ryo's shoulder:

Trevor: Ehhh, you got a lady?  
Ryo-san: (closing the amulet) That's none of your business.  
Trevor: Hey man, we're gonna be on this ship for a while. I know about ships, trust me. So we minus well share our secrets. You go first.  
Ryo-san: I'd rather not.  
Trevor: Ok I will then. I get very violent when I sleep….  
Ryo-san: How so?  
Trevor: I suggest you just stay in your bed and let me stay in mine, and ummm… where some ear muffs at night time because I get a slight bit of turrets too.  
Ryo-san: That's very odd.

"Main Deck"

:Ryo overlooks the ocean:  
:All he could think about was Lan Di:

Fisherman: I think I got one!

:The fisherman's pole bends like he caught a great white shark:

Fisherman: (reeling) Oh it's a big one!

:A very odd feeling electrocutes down Ryo's spine:  
:The fisherman hooks up Chai and flops him over on deck:

Fisherman: Whoa! Baby look at this one.

:His girlfriend stands next to him, amazed:

Ryo-san: You!

:Ryo arms his fists:

Chai: (puking out ocean water) L-Lan Di Sama….  
Fisherman: And look baby, it talks too! Ewwww ahhhhh….

:He starts to snap photos:  
:Ryo charges for Chai:  
:Chai stands up and snatches the fisherman's girlfriend, shielding himself behind her:  
:He pulls out a sharp pocket knife and holds it to her neck:

Chai: Back off.  
Ryo-san: Let her go.  
Chai: Hahahaha. Not until I get what I came for. Hand the mirror over!  
Ryo-san: Let the girl go first.  
Chai: Same time.

:A tumbleweed rolls in between Chai and Ryo:  
:Ryo takes out the Phoenix Mirror, looks at it one more time, and tosses it towards Chai:  
:Chai pushes the girl forward and jumps for the mirror:

Chai: My precccciiiouuusss!!

:The fisherman leaps and snatches the mirror:

Fisherman: Hahaha fuck you BOTH!

:The fisherman runs off:  
:Chai runs after him:  
:Ryo follows close behind:  
:Ryo dives for Chai's feet tripping him up:  
:He jumps over Chai and runs:  
:Chai grabs a hold of Ryo's feet and trips him up:  
:Chai starts to run:

Ryo-san: Come here you creepy skinhead!

"Below Deck"  
"Cabin Hallway"

:Ryo runs into the hallways and searches frantically for Chai and the fisherman:  
:They were nowhere in site:  
:He starts to kick down every single door in search until he finally finds the one:  
:The room was dark with candles everywhere and the type of piano music you'd imagine you'd hear if you went to Hell:  
:Chai was crying and hanging from the ceiling with his arms strapped up in the air:  
:The fisherman was laughing devilishly, worshipping a cross in his hand:

Ryo-san: What the hell?  
Chai: Help me!  
Fisherman: (holding a detonator towards Ryo) Step any closer and I'll blow this ship up!  
Ryo-san: Who are you?  
Fisherman: I'm a time traveler! I'm not suppose to be here!  
Chai: He's crazy! Get me out of here!

:Ryo looks out the window and sees that the sun was nearly down:

Ryo-san: Trevor…

:Ryo runs off:

Chai: NOOOOOO!!

"Ryo's Cabin"

:Ryo walks into his cabin and sees the bunk beds flopped over, his dresser stuck into the wall, the numbers "666" imprinted everywhere, and Trevor standing tiredly in his pajamas:

Ryo-san: Damn. You weren't kidding.  
Trevor: AHHH!!

:Trevor takes out a random spear and tosses it at Ryo:  
:Ryo dodges:  
:Ryo walks back to the fisherman's room:

Ryo-san: Hey! I have your bomb. God, you couldn't of hid it in a better spot?  
Fisherman: No way!  
Ryo-san: Come see.  
Chai: I hope this is part of your plan because I'm about a half an arms length away from dying!

:The fisherman walks into Ryo's cabin:  
:Ryo slams the door behind him and holds it shut:  
:He hears the fisherman scream, sounds of heavy things hitting the ground, then an awkward moment of silence:  
:He opens the door and saw the fisherman on the ground unconscious:

Trevor: (waking up) Ah! I did it again!

"Main Deck"

:Chai and Ryo stand side by side, overlooking the ocean:

Chai: So did you get the mirror?  
Ryo-san: Sure did.  
Chai: Hmmm…  
Ryo-san: What?  
Chai: You wouldn't give it to me even if I tried.  
Ryo-san: Nope.  
Chai: I'm tired of working for Lan Di Sama. My mission ends here. Here, take this.

:Chai hands Ryo a letter:

Chai: It was written by a spy that used to be undercover as a Yellow Head.  
Ryo-san: What is a Yellow Head?

:Chai grins:

Chai: You'll find out.

:Chai dives off the boat and disappears from site:  
:Ryo stands confused, but determined:  
:The boat sails off into the night:

"Shenhua's House. 1988"

:Ryo looks over the paper that he got on Chai:

Ryo-san: (reading) Lan Di meets with the Yellow Heads every June for business…

:He thinks: he already knows the exact location and a way into their headquarters. This should be a piece of cake:  
:The only problem was…:

Ryo-san: What's the date?

:Shenhua walks in after a long day at the village cutting hair, makes herself a cup of tea and relaxes in front of Ryo:

Ryo-san: Shenhua. What's the date?  
Shenhua: 1982 right?  
Ryo-san: It's 1988 Shenhua.  
Shenhua: Oh boy.

:Shenhua's father walks in:

Ryo-san: Sir, do you know what the date is?  
Shenhua's Father: It's the golden age of peace, love, and heroine: 1966.  
Ryo-san: (looking down) I'm so screwed.  
Shenhua: Ryo says it's 1988 Father.  
Shenhua's Father: That explains why a Beatles CD hasn't came out in forever!  
Shenhua: Do you DO heroine Father?  
Shenhua's Father: (blushing) Of course not. What do I look like?  
Ryo-san: Listen, everybody, I need to find out the exact date. It's very important.  
Shenhua: It's not gonna be easy around here. You have to travel at least a hundred miles to hear any sort of "tick". But….  
Ryo-san: …….  
Shenhua: ….. there's a way.  
Ryo-san: Show me.

"Bailu Village"  
"The Hut of the Corrector"

:A skinny old man with long gray hair and a black, baggy robe sat inside with burning enceintes shrouding him in smoke:

Shenhua: (whispering over to Ryo) This man knows everything.  
Ryo-san: So just walk up to him and ask for the date?  
Shenhua: It's not that easy. You have to lie to him and he'll correct you.  
Ryo-san: That's it?

:Shenhua nods:  
:Ryo walks up to the Corrector and bows:

Ryo-san: Hello, I'm Ryo Hazuki.  
Corrector: No your not.  
Ryo-san: Excuse me?  
Corrector: Your Ryo Hazuki from the Hazuki Dojo in Yamanose.  
Ryo-san: That's right.  
Corrector: Would you like me to continue?  
Ryo-san: (curious) Sure.  
Corrector: Your mother's name is Kiyoko.  
Ryo-san: I think so, yeah.  
Corrector: She had a big orgy with Iwao, your Father, and you came from her. But don't worry, because of the many Japanese Rum shots she took, you came along. Iwao didn't have a chance otherwise.  
Ryo-san: (thinking he can get a future reading) Oh, and then she had my brother Fuku-san next.  
Corrector: No. That's your gay roommate. You're an only child.

:Ryo was relieved Shenhua, who he thought may have been his sister, wasn't his sibling:

Corrector: I could of said, Shenhua, which you were just thinking, was your sister. And that you've been having incest and that your going to regret it and that Lan Di, who you hunt, is your Father, and that your just in one big, messed up circle between love and rivalry in your family, in which you don't even know it. Yeah, that would of really blown your mine. But you'd just remember, the grass is always greener on the other side, even with incest.  
Ryo-san: Odd. It would have been very unfortunate to find that information out today on June 15, 1978.  
Corrector: The date is June 24th, 1989.  
Ryo-san: 1989?!  
Corrector: I'm just pulling your balls. It's June 24th 1988.  
Ryo-san: Thank you, that's all.  
Corrector: Your not thankful.  
Ryo-san: Yes I am.  
Corrector: Your glad because you fooled me.  
Ryo-san: Oh shit.

:Ryo runs out, snatching Shenhua on the way:

Corrector: It's ok! Happens all the time. I just sit back and take it!

:The Corrector starts to tear up:

Corrector: (sadly) I do sit back and take it… all…. All the time.

"Shenhua's House"

:Ryo packs his things, including both mirrors:

Ryo-san: Shenhua, where going to Hong Kong. I must finish the job.  
Shenhua: I'm not going.  
Ryo-san: Why?  
Shenhua: I've grown used to nature again. I can't leave again. I wish you luck though.  
Ryo-san: No. I can't do this by myself.  
Shenhua: Sure you can. You're the Man from the East.  
Ryo-san: Are you sure?  
Shenhua: Positive.

:Ryo starts to walk out, turning around for his last words:

Ryo-san: I'll come back for you. I swear.  
Shenhua: Sure you will. Take care.

/


	11. The Party

Episode 11: S

Episode 11: S.I. 3  
"Loosening Up"

/

(Ryo's Journal)

Shenhua stayed back at home.

I started getting used to her...

Not like I had feelings for her, It was business.

What about my destiny now?  
Has everything flown off track?

Read that Lan Di was meeting up with the Yellow Heads.  
Need to head to the Yellow Head Bldg.

Shenhua, what are you doing?

Am I going crazy?  
Think I'm a little crazy already.  
Tonight will be the hardest...

End of Entry #4.

"China"  
"Hong Kong"

:Ryo drives around, aimlessly, at nighttime:  
:He was messing up a lot tonight:  
:He gave his pizza man double the amount he was suppose to:  
:... and the pizza man ran off with the money:  
:Ryo didn't care, he had better thing's to do, but they seemed distant and unorganized:  
:He was missing something...:

Ryo-san:(dully) I've spent too much time tracking down Lan Di. I think I have the right to have some fun.

:Ryo pulls up to the curve, signaling a hooker:  
:The hooker walks towards the car, looking around the sidewalk for heat:

Ryo-san: Hello. How are you?  
Hooker: Listen, I'm not cheap. You want some of this, you have to pay up.  
Ryo-san: I'm sorry. I'm just new at this. Your very pretty.  
Hooker: Hooker: I street virgin huh? Shit, I'll do ya a favor. The fuck's on me tonight, Ching.

:The hooker gets in the passenger seat:

Ryo-san: The names Ryo.

:Ryo drives off:

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

:Ine-san spots Fuku washing the dishes and putting them away:

Ine-san:(shocked) Are you cleaning the dishes?  
Fuku-san: I figured Id do something around here for a change. I need to start thinking about becoming a man.  
Ine-san: Perfect. Now I can fire Fernandez.

:Fernandez walks down the hallway from behind and straps his bike helmet on:

Fernandez: I think I'll be on my way now.

:Ine-san looks over at Fuku-san and grins:  
:She drops the wash cloth she had in her hand:

Ine-san: (turning towards Fernandez) Start to motorcycle.

"China"  
"Hong Kong"

:The hooker starts to rub Ryo's leg:

Hooker: I wish I could get my hands in those pants. But their waaaay too tight.  
Ryo-san: Your not going to charge me double time for taking them off are you? It's going to take a while.  
Hooker: Look! You missed another alleyway! I'm getting a little ancy here.  
Ryo-san: I wish this guy in front of us would pick up the pace.

:A black car drove slowly, stalling Ryo:  
:The black car stops in the middle of the road, and a familiar man in a black suit stick his head out and signals three hookers:  
:The hookers run to the car and hop in:

Ryo-san: Black car... black suited men... Lan Di! (looking at the hooker) You might want to hold on.

:Ryo speeds off towards the black car:  
:The black car turns into an alleyway:  
:Ryo follows:  
:The alleyway was very dark:  
:Ryo had trouble finding Lan Di's black car, but eventually he had success:  
:He jumps out and runs up to the back door:  
:He swings open the door and spots Lan Di with all three hookers on his lap:

Ryo-san: Lan Di!  
Lan Di: Oh no. Not again.  
Ryo-san: Get out now! We're fighting right here, right now!

:Suddenly, a police chopper flys over the alleyway and sirens were heard in the distant:  
:The chopper shines it's light over the alleyway and six other cars, with people with hookers, became visible:  
:All the of the cars start to whip around in smoke trails, scattering from the scene:

Voice of Man in Chopper: Alright wrap up your love packages people, your all under arrest.  
Ryo-san: Uhhh... g-get out... errrr... damn!  
Lan Di: Might want to hop in?

:The hookers flee the car:  
:Ryo jumps into Lan Di's car:  
:The black car takes off:

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

:Fuku sleeps:  
:Subcontiously, he hears the sound of a motorcycle pulling up to the house:  
:He wakes up quickly and starts to clean off his desk:  
:The main door opens, doesn't shut, and Ine-san is heard laughing:  
:She walks past Fuku's room, thinking he wasn't there, holding herself up to Fernandez:

Fernandez: (quietly) Look. He's still cleaning.

:Ine-san turns around and trys to keep herself balanced:  
:You could smell the alcohol on her breath from a mile away:

Ine-san: (to Fuku-san) What are you doing?  
Fuku-san: I told you already. I'm becoming a Man. It's time for responsibility.  
Ine-san: That's great. Could you go back to bed?  
Fuku-san: No.

:Fuku looks at his watch:

Fuku-san: According to my watch and what I have yet to do, I think I'll be up all night.  
Fernandez: Maybe I should leave?  
Ine-san: No! I-I mean... you don't have to. (lowering her voice) He's playing a game with me. I know it. (raising her voice and looking at Fuku) Ok. We'll just hang out in here with you.  
Fuku-san: Cool. You can even have sex on my bed.  
Ine-san: We weren't going to have sex!  
Fuku-san: I didn't say that. I'm just saying that you can.  
Ine-san: Go to bed Fuku-san!  
Fuku-san: Kiss my ass.  
Ine-san: Grrrrr.

"China"  
"Hong Kong"  
"Lan Di's Car"

:The car was silent:  
:No one murmurred a word for at least thirty minutes:

Guard #1: (trying to start a conversation) So Lan Di Sama, are we still meeting with the Yellow Heads tomorrow?  
Lan Di: (glancing at Ryo) No. We were never meeting with them.  
Guard #1: Hahaha. We've been doing it for a couple weeks now.  
Lan Di: No we haven't. Shut up before crush your lungs in!  
Ryo-san: Like you do to people's fathers?

:The car pulls up to a big party:

Lan Di: How about a drink?  
Ryo-san: Never.  
Lan Di: One drink?  
Ryo-san: Do you know what you did to me?  
Lan Di: No. But I'm sure it's awful.

:He pops a couple pills:

Lan Di: Damn. You got any water?  
Ryo-san: What are you doing?!  
Lan Di: Getting fucked up!  
Ryo-san: I can't fight you like that! You need to be contious enough so when I'm looking down at your bloody, rotten, diseased, half alive corspe you'll remember the name Hazuki!  
Lan Di: Wow. You DO need a drink.

:Lan Di and his guards get out:  
:Ryo follows closely behind, not taking his eyes off of Lan Di:  
:He kept his fists balled and his mind sharp:

"The Party"

:Ryo sits at a bar with Lan Di:  
:Lan Di completely ignores Ryo, and chit chats with the men next to him:  
:Ryo stares at Lan Di, turning down several drinks:

Bartender: Excuse me sir, are you drinking tonight?  
Ryo-san: No.  
Bartender: That's too bad. I'd drink.  
Ryo-san: I'm sure you would.  
Lan Di:(turning towards Ryo) Are you still here?  
Ryo-san: Yes. And I'm not leaving until you sober up.

:Lan Di pops two hits of LSD:

Lan Di: (washing down his hits with a shot of Hennesy) Good luck.

:He gets up and walks through the huge crowd of the party:  
:Ryo follows:  
:A crowd forms around the two:

Random Guy in Party: Show us some moves Lan Di!

:The crowd cheers:

Lan Di: Ok. Ok. Why not?

:Lan Di starts to warp from from side of the crowd to the other, moving so fast you'd never know what he was to do next:  
:He concludes with a very hard air kick finished off with some fast punches and grapples:  
:Ryo walks into the middle and stands next to Lan Di:

Ryo-san: Ha. You think your good huh?

:Ryo does the Tornado Kick and the Double Blow:  
:The crowd cheers some more:  
:Lan Di gets pissed:  
:He starts again with his fast moving skills, warping from behind, front, and to the sides of Ryo, then ends with a swift underkick, knocking Ryo on to the ground:  
:Ryo stands up, brushes the dirt off his jacket, and starts again with some of his most talented, precious moves:  
:Without noticing, Lan Di and Ryo got so entranced into their competition, that before too long, both of them were facing each other, armed to fight:

Crowd: (simultaneously) FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!...

:Ryo and Lan Di look deadly into each others eyes:  
:They circle around their inner crowd circle, preparing from one to make a move:  
:Lan Di charges for Ryo:  
:Ryo goes in for a charging punch:  
:Lan Di dodges and locks Ryo from behind:  
:He starts to laugh:

Lan Di: Was that enough to get your heart pumping?  
Ryo-san: W-What?  
Lan Di: I'm just playing with you. I needed to get an edge off you.  
Ryo-san: That was intense. My heart almost couldn't take it.  
Lan Di: How about a drink?  
Ryo-san: I'd like that.

:The two sit at the car:  
:Ryo orders his first drink:  
:A half wasted girl sits next to him:

Girl: You look tense.  
Ryo-san: (adjusting his shoulders) I'm fine.  
Girl: Wow. Your REALLY tense babe. Are you usually like this?  
Ryo-san: Of course not. Please. Me? Tense? Ha!  
Girl: (whispering in his ear) I'll make you less tense tonight. Hehehe.

:Ryo giggles:

"The Next Day"

:Ryo awakes in a queen sized bed in some room he didn't remember:  
:The whole party last night was a blur:  
:He noticed that his right arm was around a beautiful girl:  
:He looks under his sheets, noticing he was clotheless:  
:He turns to his right and sees Lan Di, snoaring and smiling in his sleep:  
:He shakes Lan Di:

Lan Di: (half asleep) Hmmmm?  
Ryo-san: Lan Di. I think we had sex last night.  
Lan Di: (noticing his and Ryo's situation) We did!

:The two high five:

Ryo-san: Hey. Who's your girl?  
Lan Di: I don't know. But she smells good. (turning over) Hello my sweet little- AH!

:He had his arm around a oiled up biker, who was also unclothed:

Ryo-san: Wait!

:Ryo pulls off a few long strings of hair off himself:  
:Lan Di feels on his hair:

Ryo-san: Did we?  
Lan Di: (shocked) I think so.  
Ryo's Girl: Tell me about it. I barely got any of the action.  
Ryo-san: Truce for now Lan Di. I don't want you to die with THIS as your last thought.  
Lan Di: I agree. Thanks.

:The two hurry up and get dressed, leaving about fifteen minutes apart from each other:

/


	12. The Yellowhead Bldg

Episode 12: S

Episode 12: S.I. 3  
"The Sneaky Hazuki"

/

(Ryo's Journal)

Need to sneak into the Yellow Head Bldg.

Possible Entry Strategies:

1.) Disguise myself as a Pizza Man. (I like that one)

Chances of that working: Zero to None. (Damn)

2.) Call in a Bomb Threat. (If I get desperate)

3.) Find Wong. (If no other option)

4.) Run in with fists swinging. (I could use the training)

End of Entry #5.

"China"  
"Hong Kong"  
"Outside the Yellow Head Bldg"

:Ryo was dressed in a red and blue outfit with a hat that said "Ching's Pizza":  
:He carries two hot pizzas:

Ryo-san: Pizza delivery for Master Baihu.  
Yellow Head Member: A delivery huh? I don't see how. Everyone in this building is on a strict diet.  
Ryo-san: I'm just doing my job man. Hey, you're a lucky costumer too. You can buy one pizza next time and get another absolutely free!  
Yellow Head Member: Yeah yeah yeah gimme that pizza and I'll direct it to Master Baihu.  
Ryo-san: Ok…

"The Next Day around the same time"

Ryo-san: Hit it!

:A random guy behind Ryo blasts his boom box:

Ryo-san: (rapping) Check it. Check it.  
My names Ryo, I always have my way,  
Left to right punching I fight crime everyday.

This habit of mine is no coincidence so listen up,  
If your names Lan Di I'll fuck you up!

Check out the hair, the jacket, the whole pile,  
It spells out one thing S.T.Y.L.E. Style!

So get out my way or prepare for something bad,  
Your messing with a real Japanese Punk you don't want to see me mad.

Yellow Head Member: That's a NO.  
Ryo-san: Damn.

"Pigeon Park"

:Ryo sits and feeds the pigeons with his leftovers from lunch:  
:He seemed very depressed:  
:He was pale, and uneasy:

Little Kid: Gimme some money punk!  
Ryo-san: (looking down) Not now….  
Little Kid: (cracking his knuckles) I SAID, "Gimme some money you asshole!".  
Ryo-san: Where are your parents at?

:The little kid kicks Ryo in his knee:  
:Ryo screams like a little girl and rocks back and forth:  
:The little kid pulls him by his hair and swings him off his seat and on the ground, kicking him a few more times, running his pockets, and stealing about 200:

Little Kid: Later loser.

:The little kid runs off laughing:  
:Ryo lays in his place on the ground:  
:He thought of just dying there. It would have been the best idea:  
:A man leans over Ryo's view of the sun:  
:His face was black and unclear:

Ryo-san: Are you God?  
Gui Zhang: (holding his hand out) Get up Hazuki. We have work to do.  
Ryo-san: Gui Zhang?!

:Gui Zhang helps Ryo to his feet:

Gui Zhang: You didn't think I'd be a crippled old man forever. Did you?  
Ryo-san: What about Master Chen?  
Gui Zhang: Ha…

"Yokosuka"  
"The Harbor"

:Master Chen hangs by his feet from the highest warehouse:  
:His robe hung backwards, almost covering his view, and uncovering a lot of other things:  
:It was a shame that he wore no underwear, but a lot of sailors who passed got a lot of laughs:  
:A baby cat trots by, so cute and so little:

Master Chen: (desperate and in baby tone) Hey there little kitty.

:The baby cat stops and looks up at him:

Master Chen: I need some help. I swear I'll pay you back.

:The baby cat takes a shit right below him and walks off:

Master Chen: This isn't going to be good…

"China"  
"Hong Kong"  
"Pigeon Park"

Gui Zhang: You know I respect my Father Hazuki. I did the most rational thing possible.  
Ryo-san: That's good. I'm glad to hear you and your Father are working things out.  
Gui Zhang: Ha. Yeah. So, what's new?  
Ryo-san: I found out where Lan Di is. He's in the Yellow Head Bldg. We have to find a way in.  
Gui Zhang: No problem. I'm with you all the way.

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

Ryo-san: ….and that's the best way I can think of.  
Gui Zhang: I have a better idea.  
Ryo-san: Ok?  
Gui Zhang: You dress up as a drag queen. I could work with the fake jugglers. Have a little sluttiness to it. Your promoting the Drag Queen March that's about to hit town in a few weeks and you need volunteers to help grease up the other girls. All we'll have to do is make up some fake applications and add a little money and the guards will suck it all up like breast milk! This will distract the two and I'll make my move from behind. I think if we pull a few strings, this may work. What do you think Hazuki?  
Ryo-san: (smirking) Did you JUST think of all of that?  
Gui Zhang: Yeah. Clever huh?  
Ryo-san: Yeah.  
Gui Zhang: Alright. You go into the bathroom and practice the walk. Remember to bounce your hips back and forth. Let out your feminine side Hazuki! In the meantime, I'll be preparing the applications. Let's make this thing happen!

"Melissa's Beauty Store"

Employee: Finding everything alright?  
Ryo-san: (reviewing the most expensive dress) What's the waist size on this one?  
Employee: A two.  
Ryo-san: Do I look like a two?  
Employee: Aw that's cute. A lucky girl huh?  
Ryo-san: If you want to put it that way than yeah.  
Employee: Come on. I'll strap you up. You manly man you.

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

Gui Zhang: (on the phone) Good luck finding me Father…

:Master Chen grumbles awful, insulting words:

Gui Zhang: Hold on a second.

:Gui Zhang puts Master Chen on the other line and calls Ryo:

Ryo-san: (answering from the beauty store) Hello?  
Gui Zhang: Hazuki. How's the dress coming?  
Ryo-san: The lady is boxing it up right now.  
Gui Zhang: Excellent. Make sure it fits and it shows a lot of cleavage.  
Ryo-san: Are you sure this is going to work?  
Gui Zhang: Of course its going to work! Your speaking with the best here.  
Ryo-san: Hmmm…  
Gui Zhang: I have Father on the other line, pack up that dress and get over here! Actually, put the dress on now and take a practice walk over here. See how many guys you can pick up. If you're a little late, I'll understand.  
Ryo-san: B-but Gui Zhang-  
Gui Zhang: No time Hazuki!

:Gui Zhang clicks back in on Master Chen:

Gui Zhang: Father, I have important business to take care of. I'll call you back.  
Master Chen: …. you little bastard!  
Gui Zhang: Hahaha. I love you too.

:Gui Zhang hangs up:

Gui Zhang: Now, where did I put those damn applications?

"Melissa's Beauty Store"

:Ryo puts the dress and some high heels on:

Ryo-san: (looking at himself in the mirror) Father… I will avenge you. Even as woman.

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

Gui Zhang: Wow. You actually pulled it off.  
Ryo-san: I feel very odd.  
Gui Zhang: That will pass with time. Ok, repeat after me. "Hey baby".  
Ryo-san: (femininely) Hey baby.  
Gui Zhang: That was good. Poke your chest out a little.

:Ryo sticks his chest out:

Gui Zhang: Hmmmm… I'm definitely going to have to get some jugglers for you. Father would have been perfect for this role.

:He takes a knife and slices a few holes in the dress:

Gui Zhang: (standing back at his achievement) Perfect!  
Ryo-san: I've never felt such hatred for Lan Di in my groin area before.  
Gui Zhang: Let's get some rest. Tomorrow we move!


	13. Lan Di's NEW Pet

Episode 13: S

Episode 13: S.I. 3  
"Man's Best Friend"

/  
(Ryo's Journal)

Met up with Gui Zhang.

He seemed happier than ever!

He helped me think of a way into the Yellow Head Bldg to defeat Lan Di.

Must dress up as a Drag Queen and pretend that I'm promoting some pride march that's about to hit town.

Almost time for me to make my move...

END of Entry #6.

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

:The phone rings:  
:Ine-san answers:

Ine-san: Hello. Hazuki Dojo.  
Ryo-san:(on the phone) Hi Ine-san.  
Ine-san: Ryo-san! I'm so glad to hear from you. I was beginning to worry.  
Ryo-san: I'm fine.  
Ine-san: That's good. So how's China?  
Ryo-san: Oh you know, same old. Fighting gangsters and beating up the bad guys. Totally going against the Hazuki way.  
Ine-san: I guess if the circumstances call... oh, I was meaning to tell you, I have some YEN that I've been saving up for you. It should be enough, after being translated, to help you out.  
Ryo-san: Thanks Ine-san.  
Ine-san: (searching around) Just where did I put it? I thought I laid it right next to the phone, like usual.

:Fuku-san walks by Ine-san with his hands in his pockets, whistling a Virtua Fighter tune:

Ine-san: Have you seen Ryo's Yen Fuku-san?  
Fuku-san: (turning pale) That was his YEN?  
Ine-san: What did you do?  
Fuku-san: Bought a motorcycle! You should see it!  
Ine-san: (getting back on the phone) You can forget that Yen Ryo-san.  
Ryo-san: I heard. Anyways, the day is getting late and I have thing's to do. Bye Ine-san.  
Ine-san: (hanging up the phone) After all the time I spent saving-

:Fuku-san was gone:  
:Ine-san heard a motocycle start up in the front yard:

"China"  
"Ontop of the Yellow Head Bldg"

:Three of Lan Di's guards climb the stairs towards the roof:  
:They heard an unusual flapping sound, from wings maybe?:  
:Right before they reached the top, a steaming trail of fire came rushing at them:  
:They quickly try to run back down the stairs but one of the guards was engulfed into flames:

Lan Di: (from the roof) Everything's fine! He won't do it again!

:The guards carefully walk on the roof and see a massive dragon standing next to Lan Di:

Lan Di: Isn't he cute?  
Guard #1: Uhhhmm, Lan Di Sama? Why is there a Dragon up here?  
Lan Di: Because having a Dragon is cool! Haven't you read New York Times?

:The Dragon stares at Guard #1:  
:He gives him an evil look:  
:Guard #1 steps back:

Lan Di: Hahaha, don't worry. He's perfectly harmless, unless I say,"Attack!"

:The Dragon shoots a hot, smoking, flaming trail of fire into the air:

Lan Di: Awesome huh? I'm currently trying to figure out how I can ride this thing. Anyone want to try first?  
Guard #2: I think you've gone mad Master.  
Lan Di: Mad?! How dare you! Detention! All of you!  
Guard #1: Man!

:The guards walk down the steps with their heads hung:

Lan Di: (petting his lovely Dragon) You make Lan Di feel very safe.

"Down the Street from the Yellow Head Bldg"

Gui Zhang: You look very pretty today, Hazuki.

:Ryo wore his dress, high heels, and some make up that was slapped on his face very quickly:

Ryo-san: I feel very uncomfortable.  
Gui Zhang: That is apparent. Now, walk over to the entrance and work your magic. In the meantime, I'll be planning my attack. Remember, if any of them touch you, it's considered sexual harrassment so just shout out,"Rape!" and you'll be in the gold.  
Ryo-san: I see.

:Ryo walks towards the Yellow Head Bldg:

"Entrance of the Yellow Head Bldg"

Ms. Ryo-san: Hello gentlemen.  
Guard #1: (easing his pole) Hey.  
Ms. Ryo-san: If you two would just step right over here and give me your undivided attention, I would appreciate it.

:The guards step closer:  
:Ryo looks out the corner of his eye, seeing Gui Zhang moving closer to the building:  
:Gui Zhang steps behind an old lady carrying her groceries:

Old Lady: Excuse me?  
Gui Zhang: (whispering) Shut up and walk towards those gangsters.  
Old Lady: Your a nice young boy. I'd hate to use this Machine Gun I have in my bag here.  
Gui Zhang: (gulping) N-No. Don't do that. You'll blow my cover.  
Old Lady: It's been ages since I've used it though. I usually carry a handgun, but today is your lucky day.  
Gui Zhang: Please don't use it. I'm begging you. I like old people. Old people are my friends. I'll take you out to dinner tonight, how about that?  
Old Lady: Such a shame, because I would hate to think that you were gonna rob me.  
Gui Zhang: Never. I would never rob you. You carry yourself quite well.

:Ryo signals with his right hand for Gui Zhang to make a move:

Gui Zhang: Oh shit. Can you please do what I say?

:The old lady stops:

Old Lady: How about we just shoot them? It would be easier.  
Gui Zhang: No it wouldn't. I'm trying to be stealthy here.  
Old Lady: I tell you what. I'm going to shoot those gangsters over there, that slutty girl their talking to, then I'm going to pop a couple rounds into your kneecaps, wait until you get out of the hospital, and then force you to take me out to dinner.

:Gui Zhang moves into the open:

Gui Zhang: Hazuki! Get the hell out of here! This old bitch is armed!

:Ryo runs:  
:The guards chase after him:  
:The old lady pulls out her machine gun and starts shooting around in circles:

Gui Zhang: SHHHHHIIIIITTT!!

:Gui Zhang dives into a food stand:  
:Ryo kicks off his high heels and escapes the guards:  
:Across from his hiding spot, but barely visible, he spots Lan Di walking out the Yellow Head Bldg:  
:Ryo smiles and runs towards him:  
:Lan Di spots Ryo charging full force:  
:He runs:

Gui Zhang: (hiding under a pile of apples) Go Hazuki!

:The chase was on!:

"Hong Kong Subway"

:Lan Di catches a train:  
:Ryo dives for the door, stopping it from fully closing with his hand:  
:He walks in and stands next to Lan Di:

:...:

:The train moves:

:...:

:Music plays:

Lan Di: I like your jacket.  
Ryo-san: (looking foward) Thanks.  
Lan Di: No really. It's stylish.  
Ryo-san: So is your robe.  
Lan Di: Yeah well you know it really wasn't expensive.  
Ryo-san: Odd.  
Lan Di: You know I have my own Dragon now.  
Ryo-san: Oh congratulations.  
Lan Di: Haha yeah, we're really bonding. I call him Flamo.  
Ryo-san: Flamo huh?  
Lan Di: Flamo Sama.  
Ryo-san: I see.

:The train doors open:  
:Lan Di and Ryo look at each other:

Ryo-san: Good luck with your Dragon.  
Lan Di: Thanks.

:Lan Di runs out:  
:Ryo chases closely behind:

"The Crowded Streets of Hong Kong"

:The chase was still on:  
:Lan Di was a fast runner, but Ryo kept up:  
:He was pushing innocent people out of his way, while Ryo was just dodging the bodies from behind:  
:Ryo passes the most expensive restaraunt on the street:  
:He stops for the first time in twenty minutes, looking through the windows:  
:Gui Zhang was sitting down in the resteraunt:  
:The crazy old lady was sitting across from him, banging on the table:

Gui Zhang: I don't have that much money!  
Old Lady: I want the Shrimp Scampi!  
Gui Zhang: Too bad!

:The old lady takes out her Machine Gun and points it directly at Gui Zhang's face:

Gui Zhang: Did I say I didn't have enough money? I think I do.

:He digs fearfully in his pocket:  
:Ryo continues the chase:

"Dead End"

:Ryo finds himself at the end of the street, with Lan Di out of sight:

Ryo-san: I was so close!

:The day dies down with misery:

"The Next Day"  
"The Headquarters of Raul"

:Raul was one of the most feared leaders in the Russian Mafia:  
:Men wouldn't stand a chance against his assassins:  
:Some of the assassins were known to dodge bullets, crawl on the cielings like Spiderman, and have the best stealth tactics known to man:  
:Those victims who released this information did so minutes before flat-lining:  
:Lan Di decides to hire an assassin to kill Ryo:

Raul: A assassin eh?  
Lan Di: I'm part of the Chinese Mafia. I'm sure we can do business.  
Raul: Hmmmm...  
Lan Di: ...  
Raul: Hmmmmm...  
Lan Di:...  
Raul: Diefastskey!

:Lan Di jumps:  
:The Russian Assassin, DIEFASTskey, walks into the room:  
:He wore sunglasses, tight black clothes, and had battle wounds on the skin that you could see:

Raul: You like?  
Lan Di: Does he speak English?  
Diefastskey: Я являюсь только лучшим. Никакая убийца не может совпасть ко мне.  
Lan Di: Riiiiiiiight.  
Raul: He says,"I am only the best. No other assassin can match up to me."  
Lan Di: That's good. That's good.  
Raul: Watch this. Diefastskey, покажите этому женоподобному японскому мальчику некоторые из ваших шагов ножа.

:Diefastskey takes out a sharp dagger:

Raul: This cucumber is your opponants head.

:Diefastskey throws the cucumber in the air and consecutively dices it until it makes ten slices:  
:The slices fall on Raul's salad:

Raul: And there's more where that came from.  
Lan Di: I'll take him!


	14. The Handgun

Episode 14: S

Episode 14: S.I. 3  
"Run for your Life!"

/

"China"  
"Hong Kong"  
"Dr. Wong's Office"

:Ryo was laid out on a leather chair, overlooking the beautiful Hong Kong mountains:  
:He hands were locked together:

Ryo-san: (in deep thought) It's just so hard to find him. This man.

: Dr. Wong, also a therapist, moves in closer to Ryo:

Dr. Wong: I know. I know.  
Ryo-san: …. Wondering everyday where he's at, what he's doing, if he's even thinking about you.

: Dr. Wong puts his hand on Ryo's shoulder:

Dr. Wong: Sometimes, we get these feelings for a person. Sometimes, even for the same sex. Is this man special to you? Has he hurt you?  
Ryo-san: Yes.  
Dr. Wong: (squeezing Ryo's shoulder) Has he touched somewhere in your heart that has forever changed you?  
Ryo-san: Yes.  
Dr. Wong: Has he used to Date Rape Drug on you?  
Ryo-san: No.  
Dr. Wong: Not that far huh? It will come. But Ryo, this is what we call Bi-Curious. It's a very normal thing for a man your age.  
Ryo-san: Bi Curious? But I'm not-  
Dr. Wong: Sh sh sh. If you were gay why didn't you say something? Am I giving you a boner right now? My sweet, gentle, sensitive touch.  
Ryo-san: Ok this is getting weird.  
Dr. Wong: (taking his hand on Ryo's shoulder) I agree.

: Dr. Wong turns his back towards Ryo:

Dr. Wong: That was rude of me. I'm sorry. I just…. well…. I'm so sick of other doctors who push me around. I just needed a release. I figured you'd me my maid of honor. You know, a happy fairy tale.

:Ryo puts his hand on Dr. Wong's shoulder:

Ryo-san: Your release will come. I know my release already. Killing Lan Di! Be strong Dr, your day will come.

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:Ryo watches Oprah:  
:An Ex-Alcoholic crys his eyes out:  
:Oprah was comforting him in the presence of her hugs:

Ex-Alcoholic: I couldn't live without the drink! I ate a starburst and I still tasted ALCOHOL!! OH GOD!! (crying some more)

:Ryo starts to cry:

Ryo-san: Oh God why?!

:Gui Zhang walks in:  
:His black suite was torn up like he had just wrestled a pack of lions:  
:He had scratch marks on his face and a tissue hanging from one of his nostrils:  
:He runs straight for the bathroom:  
:Ryo meets him:

Ryo-san: What happened?  
Gui Zhang: (washing the blood off his hands) Father found me…  
Ryo-san: Oh great. Master Chen. Bet you were excited?  
Gui Zhang: Do I look excited to you?!

:Someone knocks on the door:

Master Chen: (from outside) Gui Zhang! I know your in there! Come to me at once!  
Gui Zhang: (whispering frantically) He's here. Hazuki, quick, answer for me and tell him I was brutally murdered by the pigeons at the park. It was an awful, tragic death, and my body was so bitten that my corpse will probably be unidentifiable.  
Ryo-san: Got it.

:Ryo answers the door:

Ryo-san: Master Chen. How lovely of you to drop by!  
Master Chen: Where is Gui Zhang?  
Ryo-san: In Japan with you I thought. Would you like to come in for a drink?

:Gui Zhang kicks Ryo's leg from the side:

Ryo-san: Or maybe we could go out for a drink!  
Master Chen: Sorry. I'm on a new diet plan by Dr. Phil.  
Ryo-san: Too bad.  
Master Chen: If you see the little rotten brat, tell him to call me at once!  
Ryo-san: (all smiles) Will do.  
Master Chen: And there's someone who wants to meet you Man Mo Park.  
Ryo-san: Man Mo Park?

:Master Chen leaves:

Gui Zhang: We sure fooled him huh?  
Ryo-san: (thinking) Man Mo Park… Gui Zhang, I'm going out.

"Man Mo Park"

? Man: There's something about a windy day that just gets my heart pumping.

:Ryo approaches from behind:

Ryo-san: What?  
? Man: Is your name Hazuki?  
Ryo-san: Yes. Ryo Hazuki.  
? Man: I've heard about you.

:The man turns around:

? Man: My name is Cliff, the man of mystery.  
Ryo-san: Where is Lan Di?!  
Cliff: Persistent aren't we? I don't know the man you speak, I just know of you, and that you grasp the art of fighting quite well. I'm going to teach you a move. It's called The Flaming Samurai. There's no sword involved I'm afraid.  
Ryo-san: (dropping his Samurai Sword) Shit!

:Cliff holds his hands out, bends his legs, cuts his right hand to the side, and swings around back to his position:  
:A great wall of air whipped Ryo's face:

Cliff: You try it.

:Ryo holds his hands out, bends his legs, and executes the move like he had been doing it forever:  
:The sound, whenever Ryo learns a new move, plays:

Ryo-san: Why do I hear that stupid sound every time I learn something?

:Suddenly, Cliff gets shot:  
:He flies on his back, and slowly dies:  
:Ryo arms his fists and searches the park and it's surroundings:

Diefastskey: (high in neighboring building) Maintenant vous mourez, Hazuki.

:Diefastskey reloads his sniper rifle:  
:Ryo steals a little girl's sand bucket and shields his face with it:

Ryo-san: This won't work!

:He runs out of the park, dodging the numerous bullets that were being shot at him:  
:He comes across a children's Limbo game:

Kids: How low can ya go?! How low can ya go?!

:Ryo limbo's under the pole:

Ryo-san: WHAAAWHOO!!

:A bullet flys past his face:

Ryo-san: Crap!

:He runs straight for his apartment:

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:Ryo slams the door:

Gui Zhang: You look like you just saw Father naked.  
Ryo-san: Someone's trying to kill me!  
Gui Zhang: I knew it! The American's want us dead again! World War is coming back! We need to stoke up on guns, grenades, Japanese flags, and start shooting random people Hazuki!  
Ryo-san: That was completely unnecessary…

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

:Fuku walks out of his room in a gray dress suit, a tie, and a briefcase:

Ine-san: (with her cleaning towel over his shoulder) Who are you and what have you done with Fuku-san?  
Fuku-san: Made him into a new man! Ha!

:Fuku walks for the door:

Ine-san: And where do you think your going? Another Virtua Fighter Tournament?  
Fuku-san: Actually, I just got a new job as an intern at James Walernbelt.  
Ine-san: An intern? What are you going to sell, comics?  
Fuku-san: Already sold them. I'm moving on to bigger and better things now, like New Hits of the 80's!

:Fuku-san takes out a handful of 80's Music Magazines, all updated to the current date:

Fuku-san: And there's more! For only eight hundred extra YEN, you can get a copy of Fuku-san's Tattoos with your purchase! It's totally wild Ine-san, in a few months, we'll have enough money to get a freakin' shower!

:Ine-san smells her armpits:

Ine-san: (disgusted) Eh.  
Fuku-san: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go intern.  
Ine-san: What about cleaning your room?!  
Fuku-san: (walking out) Already did.

:The door shuts:

Ine-san: Ha. Well. I'm going to get a job too!

:She thinks:

Ine-san: Ah damnit. Time to clean the kitchen.

"China"  
"Hong Kong's Local Shooting Range"

:Ryo stands before Gui Zhang and couple of Gui Zhang's buddies that he met at the bar the previous night:

Ryo-san: Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce to you, a gun.

:He picks up a handgun:  
:Gui Zhang's men step back in fear:

Ryo-san: A bullet from this, moving at approximately 896 milliseconds, can pierce through a man's skin faster than you could say "Japanese, dirty knees". This is one piece of Sushi you don't want to mess with.

:Gui Zhang raises his hand:

Ryo-san: Yes Gui Zhang.  
Gui Zhang: Perhaps I'm in an intense shootouts with, let's say, a bunch of irate drug dealers and there's walls all around me. Could this bullet possibly reflect back and hit me?  
Ryo-san: No. The bullet would go straight through the wall. Funny how you ask, I was just thinking the same thing.  
Gui Zhang: Because we're brothers, Hazuki.  
Ryo-san: Until pending on a DNA Test, I would love to think so.  
Gui Zhang: What are we standing here for then?! Let's stock up on some firearms and let hell loose!

:Everyone remains quiet:

Gui Zhang: What?  
Ryo-san: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  
Gui Zhang: Let's take off with this gun and some ammo. No one will ever know Hazuki!

:Ryo and Gui Zhang run out of the shooting range, beating up whoever they had to:

"Nighttime"  
"The Streets of Hong Kong"

:Gui Zhong holds the handgun, worshipping it:

Ryo-san: We can't kill anyone with a firearm. It goes against the Hazuki Tradition.  
Gui Zhang: I go by the Gui Zhang Tradition…  
Ryo-san: What's that?

:They stop at a stop light:  
:A homeless man walks up to the window and knocks:  
:Gui Zhang points the gun at the man:

Gui Zhang: Step back bitch! I will shoot!

:Ryo drives through the red light, causing a three car pileup:

Ryo-san: Damnit Gui Zhang! Your out of control with that thing!  
Gui Zhang: I feel powerful. I got it! We're on a mission Hazuki. We're in the mob and we're trying to escape the family. The mob boss is after us and is trying to whack us. We must use whatever tactics we can to survive!

:Ryo takes out his journal:

Ryo-san: (reading off what he had just wrote) We're on a mission from the mob. Survive at all costs.  
Gui Zhang: Put that stupid thing away before I use it for target practice!  
Ryo-san: If you do I will cut your-  
Gui Zhang: Hazuki, I think we're lost.

:They drive down a dark road with distant screams, homeless people using trashcans as their fire, and out of business signs everywhere:  
:Ryo sees a group of black people huddling together for warmth on a nearby street corner:

Ryo-san: (pulling towards the curve) I need to ask for directions.  
Gui Zhang: Hazuki don't! They could be armed.  
Ryo-san: We're armed too you jackass. Don't you see? We no longer need to be afraid! That's the beauty of it.  
Gui Zhang: (gripping the gun) I don't know about this.  
Ryo-san: (rolling the window down) Excuse me. Could you kindly point us in the direction of Wan Chai please?  
Black Men: Yes my Japanese friend, first off, you have to drive down that alleyway right over there. Trust me, it's a shortcut.  
Gui Zhang: A shortcut my ass! Their going to rob us, I know it!  
Ryo-san: Now don't trick us my fellow gangster friends, we have a gun here.  
Gui Zhang: (punching Ryo) You ass! Don't tell them that.  
Black Men: So do we.

:The black men pull out all of their pistols, some of them with two pistols:

Gui Zhang: Hazuki, you might want to jot this moment down in your journal.  
Ryo-san: Why?  
Gui Zhang: Because we're ABOUT TO DIE! Gang fight! White Japanese Vs. Black Chinese! Shield your grills and your money! It's about to get deadly out this bitch!  
Ryo-san: Have you completely lost your mind Gui Zhang?

:Gui Zhang steps out of the car, covers up his mouth with a red bandana, and starts to shoot his gun aimlessly:  
:The black men start to shoot back:

Gui Zhang: Drive! Hazuki! Drive!

:Ryo ducks, switches the car into drive, and hauls down the road:

Gui Zhang: Yeah! We just sumo chopped your asses with some bullets!  
Ryo-san: That was deep.


	15. Ryo's Stand

Episode 15: S

Episode 15: S.I.3  
"Hazuki Is Back!"

/

"China"  
"Lan Di's Mansion"  
"Bathroom"

:Lan Di takes a shower:  
:He wore a shower cap with all of his hair curled up inside of it:  
:He shaves his armpits while gargling mouthwash:  
:His pet Dragon, Flamo, stick's his head in the shower:

Lan Di: (pushing the Dragon away) No! No! Go away!

:Flamo puts on a sad face:

Lan Di: Don't give me that look. You were in here last time.

:Flamo walks out of the bathroom sadly:  
:Lan Di turns the shower off, wraps a towel around himself, and walks out of the bathroom:  
:His office was unusually quiet:  
:He spots Flamo sedated, breathing heavily, on the floor:

Lan Di: Hmmmm…

:Ziming flies out of nowhere and punches Lan Di in the face:  
:Lan Di falls to the floor:  
:Ziming was dressed like a ninja with a black scarf shielding his mouth:

Ziming: (seizing Lan Di by his neck) Where is Hancho?!  
Lan Di: Who the hell is Hancho?

:Ziming squeezes harder:

Ziming: Where is he damnit!?  
Lan Di: I don't know who the hell your talking about! Please, I just got out of the shower. My skin is so sensitive now. Have mercy! I haven't even put on my lotion yet.  
Ziming: You haven't seen the end of me!

:Ziming takes out a little, golf ball sized, ball and tosses it to the ground:  
:A great burst of smoke formulates from the ball:  
:The smoke swirls around in it's place, then drifts away with Ziming nowhere in site:  
:Lan Di jumps to his feet and picks up his phone:  
:He calls his guards:

"Guard's Room"

:A big party was taking place:  
:All of Lan Di's employees/friends were invited: his housekeeper, his three wives, a couple of his last one night stands, his foot therapist (Lan Di was very sensitive about his left foot for some reason), and a few members of the YellowHeads:  
:Three bright red lights go off in the room:  
:It sounded like one of those loud fire alarms:

Guard #1: Shut off the music! Lan Di's calling!  
Everyone at the Party: Awwwwwwww!

:The party went silent:

Guard #1: (answering the phone) Hello?  
Lan Di: (with an ice pack on his face) Someone just came into my office, sedated poor Flamo, and attacked me!  
Guard #1: That's so awful. Are you ok? Did you use your insane fighting skills?  
Lan Di: NO! He came out of nowhere! Maybe if I didn't have such useless guard's of would of gotten the chance!  
Guard #1: Lan Di Sama, you know you always come first.  
Lan Di: I want all of you up here at ONCE, and bring me my baby oil, my Temptations Cd, and some candles too.

"Da Yuan Apartments"

:Ryo walks up to Xiuying's Apartment door:  
:He takes a deep breath, then knocks:  
:A young man answers the door:

Ryo-san: Hello. Is Xiuying here?  
Young Man: I'm sorry, but she got married.  
Ryo-san: (disappointed) Oh, to you, huh?  
Young Man: Nope. To some piano player she met at the local jazz bar. To make a long story short, she moved out. Sorry fellow.  
Ryo-san: Thank you for your time.

:He walks away:  
:A door opens down the hallway:  
:Xiuying sticks her head out:

Xiuying: Ryo! Down here!  
Ryo-san: Xiuying? I figured you moved somewhere far away.  
Xiuying: Save it. Come, I have to show you something.

"Xiuying's Apartment"

Ryo-san: (observing) Nice apartment.  
Xiuying: It cost a fortune.

:A knock was heard at the door:  
:Xiuying answers:  
:A man stood outside in a cast from neck down, leaning on a pair of crutches:

Crippled Man: Damn you to hell Xiuying Hong!

:Xiuying slams the door in his face:

Ryo-san: Who was that?  
Xiuying: My last boyfriend.  
Ryo-san: I see.

:Xiuying hands Ryo a box:

Ryo-san: What's this?  
Xiuying: Your going away present. I tried to find you before you left, but you left so fast, I just kept it until the next time I saw you.

:Ryo opens the box:  
:Inside was a toy on a little operating stand that looked exactly like Ryo:

Xiuying: Push the red button on the stand.

:Ryo pushes the button:  
:The toy punches repeatedly:  
:While punching, it yells," Surrender Lan Di! Surrender!":

Ryo-san: I like it.  
Xiuying: Thought you would. Take it with you for good luck.  
Ryo-san: I will.

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

:Ine-san walks up to the front door, checking the mail first:  
:Fuku got a letter:

Fuku-san: (from behind) I'll take that.

:Ine-san jumps:  
:She turns around, but couldn't see Fuku:

Fuku-san: Down here!

:Ine-san looks to her right, and sees Fuku halfway underneath the ground, holding open a secret door camouflaged like the yard:  
:She walks up to him and looks down, seeing a staircase leading far underneath into darkness:

Fuku-san: You like?  
Ine-san: What's going on here?  
Fuku-san: This is my personal underground office. I built it myself. I come down here to think about the next thing I'm going to sell at work. You can't enter though.  
Ine-san: And why not?!  
Fuku-san: Because only good people can enter.  
Ine-san: I'm good!  
Fuku-san: Please Ine-san, you're a monster covered in skin. Old, wrinkly, eroded skin.  
Ine-san: How dare you! If it weren't for me, you would be on the streets right now!  
Fuku-san: Throw me on the streets. This is my new home now. I will only come out to go get food, water, and go to work. Other than that, I no longer exist.  
Ine-san: Good! I was sick of you anyways, and don't be surprised if you come out one day and your in a Nuclear Winter.  
Fuku-san: Ha, interesting, I'm contemplating though, Ine-san. There is but just ONE way into my lair.  
Ine-san: Do tell Fuku-san.  
Fuku-san: You have to sniff the grass on top of my lair. Sniff it hard and long, and scratch your butt like a dog too! Oh oh, and you have to say while doing so, "This is much better than yelling at Fuku-san all day long. God, he's the best son ever!".  
Ine-san: That is the most atrocious thing I've ever heard! I'd rather die!  
Fuku-san: Than farethy well Ine-san!

:He shuts his grassy door, locking it from the inside:

Ine-san: Fuck that bitch. I'll just put a couple of my heaviest plant pots on his little secret door.

"China"  
"Outside of the Da Yuan Apartments"

:Ryo pushes the red button, watching his toy for the forth time since he left Xiuying's apartment:  
:He imagined Lan Di taking blows from the toy:  
:It gave him comfort, but at the same time, he wished it was a reality:  
:Ryo pushes the button again, but this time, his toy was shot, right out of his hand, into several little pieces:  
:He looks ahead and sees the Russian Assassin, that Lan Di hired to kill him, on top of a building ahead:

Ryo-san: I'm sick of this creep. It ends today.

:He charges for the building, dodging the assassins bullets along the way:

"Beverly Hills Wharf"

Ren: There's are next target men. We're gonna make a fortune off of this gig!  
Sam: Let's do it!  
Larry: I agree.  
Cool Z: Uhhhh… what are you doin'?

:The men kept their eye on a new boat that arrived at the wharf:  
:The past couple of nights, random shipments have been entering and exiting the boat:  
:Ren and his men managed to steal one of the many boxes, finding out that it was stockpiled full of gold:  
:In a few nights, they would make their move on the boat, but it would take strict planning and execution:

Ren: See Cool Z, the narrator just explained everything.  
Cool Z: But I can't read!  
Ren: Just hang in the back and play some music or something. That's all your good for anyways fatty.  
Cool Z: Maaaaannnnn.

"Random Bldg."  
"Russian Assassin's Sniper Spot"

:Ryo barges on the roof:  
:He sees the Russians sleeping mattress, different kinds of empty food trays, and his sniper leaning against the wall:  
:He hears a handgun cock behind him:

Diefastskey: (from behind) Je vous ai maintenant.  
Ryo-san: (putting his hands up) I can't speak your language.  
Diefastskey: Do you understand this then? Hazuki.  
Ryo-san: Who hired you?  
Diefastskey: Doesn't matter. You'll be dead in a few seconds anyways.  
Ryo-san: But I never did anything to whatever country your from! I swear!

:Diefastskey laughs:  
:Ryo turns around and faces the Russian:  
:Diefastskey had his sunglasses on, rolling a toothpick around in his mouth, and holding a handgun to Ryo:

Diefastskey: Would you like to know one thing I hate about Japanese?  
Ryo-san: …………?  
Diefastskey: I've never killed one in the distance. But they always seem to get up close to me, in which I kill them. But Japanese are good as close combat, am I wrong? The irony of it all trills me.  
Ryo-san: I just want Lan Di.  
Diefastskey: You know Lan Di?  
Ryo-san: Yes. He killed my Father. I'm trying to get vengeance. Don't you see?  
Diefastskey: This is…. this is all wrong. This isn't suppose to happen. I've been watching you through my scope. How determined you are to catch this Lan Di. I've gone soft since the Cold War. I'm not the same person. I should be killing Americans right now! Damn it all to hell! Ahhhh!!

:He packs up his sniper and stands on the roof side:

Diefastskey: Good luck to you.

:He jumps off:  
:Ryo runs and looks over the building edge:  
:Diefastskey disappeared:  
:Suddenly, Ryo cuts a blow to the back of his neck:  
:He's knocked unconscious:

YellowHead Member: Take him.

"Japan"  
"Hazuki Residence"

:Ine-san waters her plants on Fuku's secret door:

Fuku-san: (underneath the ground) W-What? I can't get out.  
Ine-san: (relieved) Really? Hmmm, that's odd.  
Fuku-san: Stop playing around Ine-san!  
Ine-san: Don't worry, after the Summer is over, I'll have to add my Winter plants.

:She runs the sprinkler:

"China"  
"Nighttime"  
"Beverly Hills Wharf"

:Ren and his men quietly sneak through the top of the new boat:  
:He could already smell the gold:

Sam: There's so many boxes!  
Larry: We're rich!  
Ren: Let's not get too ahead of ourselves, we still have to haul these damn boxes outta here!

:An old woman and man walk into the boat:  
:Ren, Sam, and Larry were all caught digging their hands through the gold:

Old Woman: Ren!  
Ren: Mom?!  
Larry: Uh oh.  
Sam: This isn't good.  
Old Man: Surprise.  
Ren: Dad?!

:Ren looks down at all of the gold in his hands:

Ren: Uhhhh… hehe… so I found your gold. I swear I wasn't stealing it though.  
Ren's Mom: We were going to surprise you at your place. Your Father is a treasure hunter. Hong Kong was on the way to our next destination so we figured we'd stop at this port and say hi, being that the last time we saw you you mysteriously left College with Cool Z.  
Ren: Please leave the past the past Mom.  
Ren's Dad: So you rob boats now, son?  
Ren: Actually I rob everything. From boats, to apartments, to little kid's. Everything. I've actually grown up a lot. Oh damnit, did I just say all of that?  
Sam: You sure did!  
Ren's Mom: Oh lord. Come. We have a lot to talk about.  
Ren: Ok, but I can keep a box right?  
Ren's Dad: No!  
Ren: Damn.

"Chong's Chinese Diner"

:Lan Di and his two guards order some food:

Guard #1: So explain what happened a few days ago?  
Lan Di: This random ninja walks up to me, knocks me to the ground, and demands for a guy named Hancho.  
Guard #2: I know him!  
Lan Di: Really?  
Guard #2: No wait, that was Pancho.  
Lan Di: But anyways, I couldn't believe it. No one has ever made it that far into my mansion. Tell you the truth, next time I find this "ninja", I'm recruiting him into the Chi Yu Men instantly.  
Guard #1: You still haven't recruited us yet.  
Guard #2: Yeah! What's up with that?!  
Lan Di: If you two would grow up and stop throwing parties in my mansion, maybe I would.  
Guard #2: But I love to party. The reason our parties are so big is because I walk around the streets with the erotic name Tatiana Brown. It really grabs people's attention!  
Lan Di: We really need to watch out for this ninja.  
Guard #1: Got it Lan Di Sama! We will be on our guard from here on out!

:Guard #2 gets up to use the bathroom:  
:On his way, he spots a little kid playing with a plastic knife:  
:Oddly, the little kid was looking over at Lan Di a lot:

Guard #2: A threat! Hurry! Lan Di Sama is in trouble!

:Guard #1 jumps up, runs over to the little boy, and tackles him:

Little Boy: Ahhhh! Help me!

Guard #1: (with Guard #2 trying to grab the toy knife) Stop resisting!

:The waitress brings Lan Di his food:  
:Guard #1 spots the waitress putting some sort of odd ingredient into Lan Di's food:

Guard #1: Hey! That bitch is trying to poison Master Sama!  
Guard #2: She's mine!

:Guard #2 tackles the waitress, beating her upside the head with a tray:  
:Guard #1 joins in, stomping on her and dragging her by her hair on the floor:

Lan Di: I'm guarded by idiots.

:Out of nowhere, Ziming grabs Lan Di by his throat:

Ziming: (his face turning red) Where is Hancho?!  
Lan Di: (gagging) I told you I don't know!  
Ziming: Liar! He killed my parents!

:Guard #1 and #2 were too busy to notice Lan Di's situation:  
:Suddenly, the police show up and raid the diner:

Guard #2: Oh no! Authority is here! We failed!

:They arrest Guard #1 and #2 and shove them out of the diner:

Ziming: I won't forget this!

:He disappears once more:  
:Lan Di clears his throat and starts to eat his meal:

"Beverly Hills Wharf"  
"Ren's Warehouse"

Ren: I told you! This is who I am now! Take it or leave it.  
Ren's Mom: I just wish you had made better choices.  
Larry: He did! We freakin' rule now!  
Ren: Shut up Larry!  
Larry: Ok, sorry….  
Ren's Dad: If this is the path you've chosen, then I can't help but to punish you.  
Ren: Ha. How so?

:YellowHead members storm the warehouse and lock Ren's hands behind his back:

Ren: This is the kind of parents you are?  
Ren's Mom: It's for your own good son. Take a beating from them for a while, then we'll talk.

:Ren spits in her face:

Ren: Bitch!

"The Yellowhead Bldg."

:Ryo wakes up, dizzy:  
:He feels a tight latch of metal around his left wrist:

Ren: Yo.

:Ryo was handcuffed to Ren:

Ryo-san: What, again?!  
Ren: Yup. But guess what, we have television now!

:He flips through the channels with the remote:

Ren: We're sitting high class now Ryo!  
Ryo-san: We need to get out of here!  
Ren: Why? We have tv!  
Ryo-san: Oh Ren grow up for once!  
Ren: Your right, tv does get boring after a while. So what you been up to?  
Ryo-san: Trying to find Lan Di. You?  
Ren: Same old. Robbing people. Having a blast!  
Ryo-san: Well the "dying" trick won't work this time but we can try.  
Ren: Ok, but I was thinking while you were out, this time you should pretend like you've gone crazy over trying to find Lan Di and that your trying to strangle me with the handcuffs!  
Ryo-san: No. That's out of the question.

:Ren looks over at the locked door:  
:He gets a devious idea:

Ren: I saw Lan Di.  
Ryo-san: No you didn't.  
Ren: I swear. He's walked past the room quite a few times. He laughs every time he hears your name and calls you a pussy ass Japanese schoolboy and that if you ever tried and fight him he's squash you with a bunch of textbooks.

:Ryo starts to shake:

Ren: He was having a good time. He said you'd make a good show for all of his Men and that he might fight you just to raise his reputation.

:Ryo starts red:  
:His eyes get red lightning:

Ren: Hahah yeah, you know what, I kind of believe him. It's funny how you always end of in bad situations. I mean, if you want to fight the man to prove yourself, than just do it! Damn!  
Ryo-san: (monstrously) I will!

:He charges for the door shoulder first and knocks it off it's hedges:  
:The door flies back and smacks into the wall:

Ren: Now that's what I'm talking about! Hahaha… that was cool!

:Ryo brushes the dirt off his jacket:  
:The two search the building, knocking out guards one by one:  
:Lan Di was still not found:

Ryo-san: Damnit! Where is he?!  
Ren: This Lan Di thing is getting really OLD really QUICK.  
Ryo-san: Shut up!

:They search floor to floor, still no Lan Di:  
:After a few hours, Ryo gives up:  
:They arrive at Ren's Hideout and had Wong un-cuff them:

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

Ryo-san: Gui Zhang, I'm leaving.  
Gui Zhang: Leaving? To where?  
Ryo-san: Yokosuka. I'm returning home. I'm never going to catch Lan Di.  
Gui Zhang: Don't say that. Keep high spirits Hazuki. You will one day. A year? Or two? Or even ten! I mean, you might even catch him in a wheelchair when he's an old man and take him out right there! Whatever the case, you will FIND him!  
Ryo-san: I tried, and failed. It's over for me. Take care of the apartment for me Gui Zhang. It's yours now.  
Gui Zhang: Thanks.  
Ryo-san: Take care. Thank you for everything Gui Zhang.


	16. The Prodicle Son Returns

Episode 16: S

Episode 16: S.I.3  
"The Prodicle Son Returns"

START OF SEASON 4:

/

(Ryo's Journal)

Finally back home. God it feels good!

Decided to give up on my search for Lan Di.

Hey, people don't get a long right?

Big deal. Move on.

Father would of told me the same thing!

Sooo... where now? Where do I go?

(Gui Zhangs Entry)

Hey! Yes, I'm writing right in the middle of this page!

I have a whole page to myself!

Hey hey Ryo has a very small penis.

Small! Very small!

Oh yes, and ladies. My address is Yokosuka Japan  
Harbor  
Warehouse #8.  
Just walk towards the back, last window on the right.  
The light is always on!

(Ryo's Journal)

Uhhmm... anyways!

The air has never smelled so fresh here in Yokosuka.

I think now, I'm where I finally belong.

END OF ENTRY #7.

"1988"  
"Japan"  
"Yokosuka"  
"Sakarakaoga Park"

:Ryo sways back and forth on the swingset:  
:He finishes up his Journal Entry:

Park Kid: Hey mister! Aren't you a little old to be swinging in this park?  
Ryo-san: (burst of excitement) Why! I'm a little park kid too!

:The park kid scratches his head:  
:Ryo jumps up and slams his feet on the dirt:

Ryo-san: (starting to sing) Ohhhhh! Listen here little boy, listen well...

:He dances around the confused little kid:

Ryo-san: (singing) being at home is great, it's so swell!  
There's so much to see in this very little world...

:He climbs to the top of the swingset and continues...:

Ryo-san: (singing) this new life of mine makes my head just wanna twirl!  
I am back! Yes I am!  
I'm full swingin' in and I got a plan!

Remove all the violance and bring on the peace,  
in with the drunken housewives and out with the creeps!

:The song ends:

Park Kid: Right...

:He walks off:

Ryo-san: (breathing heavily) Yeah. What am I doing up here?

"Hazuki Residence"

:Someone knocks at the door:

Ine-san: (from her room) I'll get it!  
Fuku-san: (from his room) No, I'll get it!

:The two run from the door, colliding into each other at the foyer:

Ine-san: (on the ground with a bloody nose) Goddamnit Fuku-san! Get a job!  
Fuku-san: I do! I'm a businessman!  
Ine-san: Go do business then you lazy bitch!

:She gets up and stops right before the main door:

Ine-san:(to herself) Please let this be another son. Another son. Do me this deed God.

:She answers:  
:Ryo double kicks her in the chin:  
:Ine-san falls to the ground, delirious:

Ryo-san: (scratching his head) Boy, I haven't been home in a while, have I? I thought a man answered the door...  
Ine-san: (holding her arms out) Son!  
Ryo-san: Uhhmmm... it's Ryo-san. I'm not your son.  
Ine-san: Whatever! Come here and help a poor lady to her feet! I'll make you some of that scrumptious Sake.  
Ryo-san:(walking over her) Actually, I'd rather prefer to have some time alone in my room right now.

"Fuku-san's Room"

Ryo-san: Guess who's back you ol' knucklehead!

:Fuku-san was gone:  
:His window was open:  
:Ryo picks up a few of Fuku's dirty underwear:  
:Fuku seemed to of pissed himself a few times recently:

Ryo-san: Virtua Fighter Tournament...

"Hazuki Residence"  
"Outside the Dojo"

Ine-san: You need to get to that tournament, don't you?  
Ryo-san: Yeah.  
Ine-san: (snapping her fingers) I know just what you need!

:She takes out a random remote and clicks on it towards the Dojo:  
:The Dojo doors open slowly:  
:Smoke flys out:  
:Inside were a bunch of colorful lights mounted on the walls. Looked like something that you'd see in a Club:  
:Three vehicles were inside, sitting on top of a rotating floor:  
:Ryo zoned out:  
:His face dropped:

Ine-san: Hahaha!

:She punches Ryo in the shoulder:

Ine-san: I'm good aren't I?! You see Fuku-san and I had this competition to see who could create the most eye catching attraction! I won, obviously.  
Ryo-san: That is the most...  
Ine-san:...  
Ryo-san:... idiotic, immature, not a percent to being entertaining, thing I've ever seen and a complete waste of my time.  
Ine-san: Well, "that sucks" could of been fine too but ok.  
Ryo-san:(walking off) I'll just do it the old fashion way.

"Hazuki Residence"

:Ryo takes a sideroad on his way to Fuku's tournament for a little sneaky sip from Ine-san's Sake:  
:The phones rings:  
:Ryo answers:

Ryo-san: Hi. This is Ryo-san. I'm currently in China right now, fighting the fight between Good and Evil. If you'd like to reach me, you can-  
Gui Zhang:(on the phone) Ah shut up Hazuki!  
Ryo-san: What do you want? I told you, I'm done.  
Gui Zhang: Well, then I guess this injured man here, Lan Di, wouldn't be of any interest to you anymore then huh?  
Ryo-san: No. Absolutely not. I mean, you really don't have him there. Right?  
Gui Zhang: I do.  
Ryo-san: N-No you don't.  
Gui Zhang: Hazuki, I do.  
Ryo-san: Check under his eye. Lan Di has a scar.

:Ruffled noises were made:

:...:

Gui Zhang:(in the background) Check! I'm not getting that close to him!

:...:

Gui Zhang:(in the background) Ah shit Hazuki...

:Ryo hangs up:

"Outside the Virtua Fighter Tournament"

Fuku-san:(in a nearby telephone booth) Bomb! Bomb in the tournament! I swear I'm a freakin' madman!

:Ryo walks into the booth and pulls the cord out:

Fuku-san: Ryo-san!  
Ryo-san: What do you think your doing?!  
Fuku-san: I lost! Well, third place. Maybe I can end it before there's actually an official winner!  
Ryo-san: I think your crazy! I think we should relieve some of this anger at the Yu Arcade!  
Fuku-san: I-It's not called the Yu Arcade anymore.  
Ryo-san: You don't say.  
Fuku-san: It's now called the Fuck You Arcade. Well, there's something about "in the" at the end and something about your butt but that's all I know. It was some political thing.

"Fuck You Arcade"

:Ryo and Fuku reunite their seperated time over a game of Space Harrier:

Fuku-san: Wow! That was an amazing story!  
Ryo-san: Funny thing is, I never gelled my hair once the WHOLE time! My hair just stayed in place!  
Fuku-san: Wow! You could be a supermodel!

:Ryo loses his last life:

Ryo-san: Damn! So close.

:His legs start to wobble:

Fuku-san: Are you alright?  
Ryo-san: I think my legs are giving out on me.  
Fuku-san: Maybe you walked too much.  
Ryo-san: Your right. I've been abusing my legs for far too long.  
Fuku-san: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Ryo-san:(at the same time as Fuku-san) A Go-Kart!  
Fuku-san: (at the same time as Ryo-san) A piggy back ride!

Ryo-san and Fuku-san:...

Fuku-san: Well what I meant to say was a Go-Kart... uhhmm...

"Hazuki Residence"

:Ryo, Fuku, and Ine-san sit at the dinner table:

Ine-san: Bless this family...  
Ryo-san: You look younger Ine-san.  
Ine-san:(blushing) I-I do?  
Ryo-san: Yeah. I can hardly see a wrinkle.  
Ine-san: I exercised alot, and have been eating quite well the past few-  
Fuku-san: She ordered some special cream. It's "suppose" to make you look younger but you don't rub it on your face and it had some stupid deal like,"If this product doesn't work after the first two years, return the product and get your money back". A bunch of cheap stuff.  
Ine-san: God... God... Goddamnit Fuku-san.

:She slams her napkin on the table:

Ryo-san:(trying to change the subject quickly) I fought Lan Di!  
Fuku-san: Really?! Did he have an Ultra Super Sega Lightsaber!?  
Ine-san: I hate you Fuku-san...  
Ryo-san: Better! He had his Black CAR! It was so scary!  
Fuku-san: Did it have big eyes and a big mouth filled with sharp teeth?!  
Ine-san: Why don't you shut up Fuku-san?  
Ryo-san: No! But I beat down his whole Chinese Mafia!  
Fuku-san:(jumping out of his chair) DID THE MEN WHERE LATEX OR PLAIN CLOTH?!  
Ine-san: Shut up! Both of you!

:The room got silent:

Ine-san: Now we're never to have that name Lan Di spoken in this house again. That name has already put a curse on this household. Iwao is dead, the town isn't the same, and my son Fuku-san's brain shrunk to the size of a pea.

:Ryo nodds his head in agreement:  
:Minutes pass with silence:

Fuku-san: Ryo and I bought Go-Karts.  
Ine-san: Did it have missles Fuku-san?!  
Fuku-san: I wish!  
Ryo-san: Fuku-san! You weren't suppose to tell her about that!  
Fuku-san: Ooops!

:Ryo finishes up, changes into his Dojo outfit, and took off towads the door:  
:He takes a bow and walks out:

Fuku-san: You know Ine-san, now that Ryo-san's back, can Ryo clean the trashcans now?  
Ine-san: Yes Fuku-san, but then that must mean he has to clean you too.  
Fuku-san: Haha good one. I'm going to spar with him. Wish me luck!

:Fuku walks out:


	17. When all was thought to be Good

Episode 17: S

Episode 17: S.I.3  
"When All Was Thought to be Good…"

/

"Sega Corp. 2008"  
"Yu Suzuki's Office"

:Yu Suzuki sits at his desk, twiddling with his pen, in front of two of his trusty Sega Employees:

Sega Employee #1: Shenmue 3 is finally going to be released! Yu, we finally did it!

:Yu nods his head:

Yu Suzuki: So what are Shenmue 3's reviews? I must know before I make the final decision for release.  
Sega Employee #2: Many GREAT reviews. The top critics are saying it to be one of the best achievements this year!  
Yu Suzuki: Very good.  
Sega Employee #2: But…  
Yu Suzuki: ……  
Sega Employee #2: There is one review that says that the game could have been a lot better. That it had extreme potential.

:Yu Suzuki breaks his pen in half:

Yu Suzuki: Damnit! Burn the game! Burn it now!  
Sega Employee #1: But Suzuki, all of the other critics are saying it's great!  
Yu Suzuki: Why do I feel like I have to argue with you two all the time? I didn't make you two my favorites for nothing! You want to keep standing this close to the boss, you burn Shenmue 3.  
Sega Employee #2: Fine, I'm on the way.  
Sega Employee #1: Stop! No, I've had enough of this Yu.  
Sega Employee #2: Maybe we should do what he says?  
Yu Suzuki: It's quite fine. Sega #1, your fired.  
Sega Employee #1: (tearing off his Sega Corp. Uniform) Fine! I've had it with this place anyways! I seem to be the only one thinking clearly here. Good riddance.

:He walks out of the office:

"Yu Suzuki's Home"

:Yu walks in after a stressful day on the job:  
:He makes him a small tv dinner and relaxes in front of the tv:  
:His phones rings:  
:He answers:

Yu Suzuki: Hello?  
? Man: I have your wife! If you want to see her again, release Shenmue 3.  
Yu Suzuki: Finally I catch a break!

:He hangs up:  
:He pulls out the lazy chair leg rest and stretches out:

Yu Suzuki: (in relief) Ahhhh…

:The phone rings again:

Yu Suzuki: (answering) Hello?  
Yu Suzuki's Wife: (on the phone) Help me Yu! They have a gun to my face!  
Yu Suzuki: Sure, and remember to tell Sega Employee #1 I said "Hi". Haha.

:Someone knocks at the door:  
:Yu answers:  
:Sega Employee #1 stood outside, holding a box of candy:

Sega Employee #1: I realized what I did was completely reckless. Could you ever forgive me?  
Yu Suzuki: (grabbing the candy) Hmmm… nope.

:He shuts the door in Sega Employee #1's face:

Yu Suzuki: (leaning against the door, nibbling on his first piece of chocolate) Mmmmm… so good. (he starts to think) Shit! That wasn't Sega Employee #1 on the phone! I need to save my WIFE!

:He dials 69, calling the ? Man back:

Yu Suzuki: (on the phone) What do I have to do?

"Random Street Corner in the middle of Nowhere"

:Yu was undercover in a gray hoodie and a pair of large sunglasses:  
:Sega Employee #2 stands next to him:

Sega Employee #2: So just hand him the game?  
Yu Suzuki: (ruffled, shallow voice) No. You pretend to hand him the game, but quickly you snatch my wife and take off!  
Sega Employee #2: How much does she weigh? These guys could be armed. I have to make a quick getaway.  
Yu Suzuki: For God sakes, their Sega fans, their probably going to be armed with game controllers or something. You'll be fine.

:The ? Man makes his appearance down the street with Yu's wife:  
:Yu puts a toothpick in his mouth and turns his back towards the man:

Yu Suzuki: Go.

:He watches as Sega Employee #2 walks up to the man:  
:They exchange words:  
:Yu taps his foot nervously on the ground:  
:Minutes pass, then he spots Sega Employee #2 handing the ? Man Shenmue 3:  
:The ? man pushes Yu's wife forwards and runs:

Sega Employee #2: (skipping back like a little kid) Yu! YU! I have your wife!  
Yu Suzuki's Wife: Oh baby! Thank you!  
Yu Suzuki: You idiot! You gave away Shenmue 3! Now the whole plan is ruined! They'll be copies and bootlegs all around the world!  
Yu Suzuki's Wife: Aren't you glad that I'm alive?  
Yu Suzuki: Forget you! And Sega Employee #2, your fired.  
Sega Employee #2: What?!  
Yu Suzuki: You darling, your fired too!

:He turns to nearby construction workers:

Yu Suzuki: And you guys are fired too! EVERYONES FIRED DAMNIT!!

"Hazuki Residence. 1988."

:Ryo has a delightful dream…:

"Ryo's Dream"  
"Fishing Boat in the middle of the Ocean"

:Ryo holds the Phoenix Mirror and Lan Di holds the Dragon Mirror:

Ryo-san: Let's toss them both at the same time!  
Lan Di: I'm glad this is finally over.  
Ryo-san: Me too, Lan Di. Me too.

:Ryo tosses his mirror:  
:Lan Di pretends to toss the mirror, but safely puts it back in his pocket:  
:This action was blinded by Ryo's dream, but it happened:

Lan Di: Yeah…. finally over.. hehe.

"Hazuki Residence"

:Ryo awakes bright and early:

Ryo-san: There's so much to do today! Where to start?

"Dojo"

Fuku-san: Ready?  
Ryo-san: Yeah! Let's do it!

:They start to spar:

Fuku-san: Whoa! Where'd you learn that one?!

:Ine-san walks into the Dojo, holding a pitcher of some of her famous iced tea:

Ine-san: You sweaty boys look like you could use a cup.  
Ryo-san and Fuku-san: (with towels over their shoulders) We sure could!

"Hazuki Residence"

Ryo-san: Fuku-san, correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't we have more entertainment in this house?  
Fuku-san: Yeah, a pawned all of your games you won at the Tomato Convenience Store before. But don't worry, there's newer games to be drawn right now.  
Ryo-san: I think I'll go do a few Raffle Drawings.  
Fuku-san: And I'm helping with the development of the new Yokosuka Movie Theatre right now!  
Ryo-san: Looks like we both have our days planned. See you later Fuku-san.

(Ryo's Journal)

For the first time in a while, Fuku-san and I are getting along.

Seemed odd at first.

Ine-san is trying to become more like a Mother now than ever before.

Truthfully, I'm enjoying it.

Thing's are looking up!

END OF ENTRY #8.

"Dobuita"

:Ryo puts in 100 Yen:  
:He grabs a capsule toy:

Ryo-san: Super Sonic! Oh yeah! I don't think I have this one!  
Yomagishi-san: (walking up from the side) Glad to see you've finally gotten over your Father's incident.  
Ryo-san: I'm way past that. Time to think more about my life now. My needs.  
Yomagishi-san: That's wonderful. Too bad I can't say the same for myself.  
Ryo-san: I see.  
Yomagishi-san: Ryo-san, I'm dying.  
Ryo-san: No! When?  
Yomagishi-san: The doctors say it's too early to tell, but I don't have long. Check out my list of "Things To Do Before I Die".  
Ryo-san: (reading from the list) Finish growing my plants, take daily walks everyday, drink skim milk, call my son, and drink Sake regularly.  
Yomagishi-san: Pretty wild huh?  
Ryo-san: Honestly, it sounds pretty boring. Travel the world, learn new things, now that's wild Yomagishi-san!  
Yomagishi-san: C-Could you show me?  
Ryo-san: (putting his arm around him) I'm a changed man now. Come with me to draw some raffles, that's a start.

"Sega Employee #1's House. 2008."

:Yu rings the doorbell:  
:Sega Employee #1 answers in a Taco Bell uniform:

Yu Suzuki: Hi.  
Sega Employee #1: Hi.  
Yu Suzuki: Listen, I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Forgive and forget?  
Sega Employee #1: Hmmm…

:Sega Employee #2 walks out of the bathroom:  
:He was wearing a Taco Bell Uniform also:

Sega Employee #1: (smiling) Absolutely! Why not join us in a game of Shenmue 3? We're playing it right now.  
Yu Suzuki: I-I couldn't… I….  
Sega Employee #1: Come in here you big goof!

:All three sit down on the sofa for a crazy time at Shenmue 3:  
:Sega Employee #1 hands the controller to Yu:

Sega Employee #1: You deserve it.

"Four Hours Later"

:Bottles of beer were everywhere, Sega Employee #1 and #2's Taco Bell Outfit's were in the trashcan, and Yu Suzuki was literally playing on top of his head because he was so into his Shenmue 3:

Yu Suzuki: Die Lan Di! Die!  
Sega Employee #2: Yeah Yu! You show that Lan Di who his daddy is!

:Yu beats the game:  
:A man pops up on the screen:  
:He looked quite familiar to Yu:

? Man: Thank you for playing my game! Someone had to do it, right? Since Yu Suzuki was such a wimp! Hahaha!

:The camera zones out and shows the ? Man in a hot tub, surrounded by beautiful women in bikinis:

? Man: Someone had to do it! And on that note, OL for Admin!  
Yu Suzuki: (breaking the controller in his hand) Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  
Sega Employee #2: Oh no.  
Yu Suzuki: You morons didn't copy write the damn game?!  
Sega Employee #1: I told #2 to do it even before we began development.  
Yu Suzuki: You both are RE-fired!  
Sega Employee #1: This is bullshit! Yu, it was still a great game. You created it! That's all that matters!  
Yu Suzuki: Yeah, that's why Microsoft hates us, my wife left me with our baby for some hillbilly with more money and now I'm stuck with the baby shitting all over the place., and because I was so wrapped up in my home life, I went to work in my Mario Pajamas totally oblivious!

"Tomato Convenience Store. 1988."

Employee: Sure! Draw a Raffle Ticket.

:Ryo makes a draw:

Ryo-san: Nothing…

Employee: Aw! Too bad! Try try try again later!  
Yomagishi-san: I got it! I have something I want to do!  
Ryo-san: (frustrated) Not now Yomagishi-san…  
Yomagishi-san: Stop saying "Sure" before someone draws a raffle every time. I've become sick of it.  
Ryo-san: Get me a milk over there. I'm winning something today.

:Yomagishi-san gets Ryo a bottle of milk:

Employee: Sure! Draw a Raffle Ticket!

:Ryo makes a draw:

Ryo-san: (reading the raffle) The big prize?

:Lights around the store start to flash:  
:A winning beat starts to play:

Employee: Congratulations! You just won the big prize!  
Ryo-san: Which is?

:Two police officers walk into the store:  
:They seize Ryo from behind:

Police Officer: Your under arrest.  
Ryo-san: W-What?! For what!  
Employee: Hehehe, come again sir.

"Yokosuka Police Station"  
"Interrogation Room"

Police Officer: Why were your trying to rob the Tomato Convenience Store?! Have you no decency?!

:Ryo starts laughing:

Ryo-san: This is ridiculous. I was just making a raffle drawing like I always do and-  
Police Officer: Shut your mouth smartass! Speak only when spoken too!  
Ryo-san: I see.  
Yomagishi-san: I have another thing I'd love to do before I die, Ryo-san!  
Ryo-san: Yomagishi-san, just…. Just be quiet right now.  
Yomagishi-san: Stand up for people!  
Ryo-san: Oh God…  
Yomagishi-san: Officer, being a witness of this crime, I plead not guilty for this young man right here!  
Police Officer: Overruled. Your too old for such a judgment.  
Ryo-san: Officer, I'm telling you right now, I am an innocent local of Yokosuka. I love this town. The last thing I'd try to do is rob a store. You have to believe me.  
Police Officer: I'll believe you, after about ten years in the brig shitbag! Get him outta here!

:Police Officers walk into the room to book Ryo:

Yomagishi-san: I have my last request in what I'd love to do before I die!  
Ryo-san: (being handcuffed) Now is not a good time!  
Yomagishi-san: Break the mother fuckin' law!

:He starts to fight off the officers:  
:He was tossing them left and right, over Ryo, under Ryo, everywhere:  
:Out of all of the commotion, Ryo sneaks out of the interrogation room, still handcuffed:


	18. Ryo's Job and Fukusans Secret

Episode 18: S

Episode 18: S.I.3  
"The Secret"

/

"Random House"

Fuku-san: Ryo-san is back from China.  
? Person: Your kidding me?! I'm going to find him!  
Fuku-san: Your not going anywhere. Remember, your mine now. You said so yourself.  
? Person: Some people make mistakes.  
Fuku-san: If you go anywhere near him, I'll kill you. You got that?  
? Person: Yeah… I guess….  
Fuku-san: Now I have to leave. I gotta go spar with him for at least five minutes just to make it look like nothing's going on. He's an idiot anyways, he'll fall for it.

"Dojo"

:Ryo and Fuku have their daily spar:

Fuku-san: I think I'm done for today.  
Ryo-san: We only just started Fuku-san!  
Fuku-san: I know. I have thing's to do. I'll make up for it tomorrow, I promise.

:He leaves:

Ryo-san: Hmmm….

:Ine-san walks in with a pitcher of iced tea:

Ine-san: Want a cup?  
Ryo-san: (depressingly) No thanks.

:He walks outside and has a seat on the Dojo steps:  
:Ine-san sits next to him:

Ine-san: What's wrong?  
Ryo-san: It's Fuku-san, he hasn't been sparing with me a lot lately. He doesn't even show interest anymore.  
Ine-san: Maybe he's growing up.  
Ryo-san: Fuku-san? I doubt that.  
Ine-san: I have something that might cheer you up.  
Ryo-san: What?  
Ine-san: I have a job now!  
Ryo-san: Way to go…  
Ine-san: Uhhmm soooo… what I DO at this job is fax and organize business papers. I work in the back of the Knocking Motorcycle Shop. So basically, deal with papers that have something to do with motorcycles.

:Ryo pours him a cup of tea:

Ryo-san: Interesting…

:He starts to drink the tea:

Ine-san: And all I have to do is bang Ono-san every evening!

:Ryo spits the tea out:

Ine-san: Hehehe!

"Hazuki Residence"

:The phone rings:  
:Ryo answers:

Ryo-san: Hello?  
Shenhua: Ryo-san! God, it's so wonderful to hear your voice!  
Ryo-san: Oh hi Shenhua. How did you get this number?  
Shenhua: Haven't you heard of phone book?  
Ryo-san: Oh, right. So what's new?  
Shenhua: A lot is new. I'm coming to see you! I heard you went back to Japan. I'm still in Bailu Village right now but I'll be leaving tomorrow.  
Ryo-san: Well don't expect to see the same old Ryo when you get back.  
Shenhua: Why? What are you on drugs?

:Ine-san walks in:  
:Ryo looks over at her:

Ryo-san: No. I'm working at the Knocking Motorcycle Shop now. I have to go.  
Guy in the background on Shenhua's Line: Look villagers! She's found a working telephone!  
Another Guy in Background: Bastard! She's mine!

"Knocking Motorcycle Shop"

:Ryo sits at his little desk in the back of the shop:  
:On the desk, he had a picture of Iwao, a picture of him and Nozomi, and a few extra pairs of folded white t-shirts:  
:He separated the job and the motorcycle mishap and sales applications from one big pile of papers:

Ryo-san: Wait.. something's not right here.

:He gets up and walks over to Ine-san's office door:  
:The door was shut:  
:Ryo knocks:  
:Suddenly, someone bangs into the door:  
:Ryo heard a sound of pants being unzipped, and moaning:

Ryo-san: Or never mind…

:He sits back down at his desk:  
:He picks up the phone and calls Ine-san's office:  
:He lets it ring for a couple minutes:

Ine-san: (answering) Yeah?  
Ryo-san: Ine-san, somebody filled out the mishap application trying to buy a motorcycle. Isn't that two completely different forms?  
Ine-san: Yeah… well… yeah it's two different forms. What you do is-  
Ono-san: (in the background) Can you please hurry up?!  
Ine-san: I have to go Ryo-san. Figure it out. Your smart.

:She hangs up:  
:The phone rings:  
:Ryo answers:

Ryo-san: Knocking Motorcycle Shop. Buy or send in your motorcycles! We can help!  
Shenhua: Ryo! I'm at the airport. I've arrived. Wow, this place is totally different from China!  
Ryo-san: I know.  
Shenhua: I gave all of my bags to some guy when I got off. He said that he'd help me load them once I was finished with everything I had to do in the airport.  
Ryo-san: Was he an airport employee?  
Shenhua: I don't think so. He was just a really nice guy.  
Ryo-san: Shenhua, you have to learn not to trust people so easily. That guy could of stolen your bags.  
Shenhua: Why would anyone do such a thing?  
Ryo-san: Because your not in the wilderness anymore. You don't have to travel ten thousand miles to use a telephone anymore. I have to go, I have a lot of work to do. Call me once you leave the airport.

:Ine-san's office door opens:  
:She stumbles out with her hair matted and sticking up, skin pale, missing a shoe, and hickies all over her neck:

Ine-san: Working hard Ryo-san?  
Ryo-san: Yes. Are you?

:Ono-san walks out from behind:  
:Ryo-san glares at him:

One-san: Hey Ryo-san! Like the job?! Maybe in a few years, you can be store manager!  
Ryo-san: Looking forward to it.  
Ono-san: You betcha! If you have a motorcycle that needs fixin', I'm the guy you want!  
Ryo-san: I'd rather puke my guts out.

"Hazuki Residence"  
"Nighttime"

Fuku-san: Shouldn't your friend of been here by now?  
Ryo-san: Yes. I wonder where she's at?  
Fuku-san: Probably lost. I know I get lost from time to time, even right here in Yokosuka, but there's a couple of drinks involved for that to happen. Haha.  
Ryo-san: Ha…. Ha… ha… I'm going to bed. Goodnight Fuku-san.  
Fuku-san: Night.

:Ryo lays in his bed for a couple hours, pretending to sleep:  
:He hears a car pull up to the gate:  
:He hears the front door open:  
:He looks out his window and sees Fuku walking out of the gate:

Ryo-san: I got you this time.

:He runs out of the house and behind the Cherry Tree:  
:There was a motorcycle sitting there:

Ryo-san: Glad Ono-san let me borrow a hog for the night.

"Taxi"

Shenhua: Are we going the right way?  
Taxi Cab Driver: You said Yokochuka?  
Shenhua: That's correct.  
Taxi Cab: Than yes! Stop asking me before I go psycho cab driver on you. Ever watch the movies?  
Shenhua: Where I'm from, there's no movies, no telephones, no nothing. Except for the warm comfort of your family.  
Taxi Cab: I hope there's money where your from because your fare is gonna be expensive.

"Yokochuka"

:Ryo enters a strange town, following Fuku's taxi:  
:Fuku arrives at a big house overlooking the ocean:  
:Ryo parks his motorcycle in the driveway of a house down the street:  
:He hops over a couple bushes, kneels down, and watches as Fuku enters the house, leaving the front door open:  
:He runs over to the house and up to the door:  
:Inside was warm with the fireplace going and soothing music playing:  
:Ryo investigates the house, examining inside the first few drawers he saw:  
:He continues into the living room with Fuku no where in site:  
:There were pictures on the fireplace:  
:Pictures of Fuku and Nozomi:

Ryo-san: What the hell….  
Fuku-san: (from behind) Ryo-san!  
Ryo-san: Fuku-san, what's going on?!  
Fuku-san: Ummm…  
Ryo-san: Have you been having happy time with Nozomi behind my back!?  
Fuku-san: We're just friends Ryo-san!  
Ryo-san: Really? We'll see about that. Where is Nozomi.  
Fuku-san: Ok, you got me. We've been dating for a few months now but nothing serious.  
Ryo-san: Where is she?!  
Fuku-san: She's taking night classes at College. She's gone right now.

:Ryo sits down:

Ryo-san: Then I'll just wait until she returns.  
Fuku-san: No! I-I mean… please don't. You'll ruin everything.  
Ryo-san: She's my best friend Fuku-san! How could you?!  
Fuku-san: How about we spar a little on the balcony?  
Ryo-san: You don't want to spar with me right now.  
Fuku-san: OOoooohhh man.

:A car pulls up to the driveway:  
:Fuku runs to the front door:  
:Nozomi walks in, carrying her textbooks:  
:She drops them instantly and starts to make out with Fuku:

Nozomi: God it's been a long day!  
Fuku-san: (mumbling through the make out) Nozomi. Stop.  
Nozomi: Why?!  
Fuku-san: Uhhmm..

:She looks over Fuku's shoulder, spotting Ryo:

Nozomi: Oh boy.  
Fuku-san: Yeah. Oh boy.  
Ryo-san: Both of you! Have a seat, right now!

:Nozomi and Fuku sit down, holding hands:  
:They look at each other, then separate their hands:  
:Everyone was silent:

Nozomi: …………..  
Fuku-san: ………..  
Ryo-san: ……………

Fuku-san: Ryo-san, we're in love!

:He tries to make out with Nozomi:

Nozomi: (pushing Fuku back) Stop! Stop you creep!  
Fuku-san: But I love you!  
Nozomi: He's out of his mind Ryo-san! He tried to kill me the other day!  
Fuku-san: That's a lie!  
Nozomi: Fuck you. Get out of my house.  
Fuku-san: No! You can jump off a bridge!  
Nozomi: Well you can just go shove a pineapple up your-  
Ryo-san: Enough! Enough! ENOUGH!

:Nozomi and Fuku fell silent:

Ryo-san: I can't believe you two!  
Fuku-san: Can't blame a man for being in love. I know you were in love with what's her face.  
Shenhua: (from the door) Ryo!  
Ryo-san: Shenhua?!  
Fuku-san: Yeah! Her!

:Shenhua runs into the living room:

Shenhua: I had to find the first place I saw to ask for further directions. Boy did I find the right house. Hehe.  
Ryo-san: Now is not a good time Shenhua.  
Fuku-san: Now that both of our women are here Ryo-san, let's all fuck!  
Ryo-san: No Fuku-san! Shut the hell up! Shenhua, we're leaving. I have a hog outside.  
Nozomi: And Fuku-san, we're breaking up.  
Fuku-san: (tearing up) N-No…  
Nozomi: You know I've been extremely busy with college. We've been over this.  
Fuku-san: B-But you said, if you ever became successful, you'd become successful with ME.  
Nozomi: I lied. You should of expected this.  
Fuku-san: Hey Shenhua, on a scale of one to ten, how much booty do you expect to get being here in Japan?  
Ryo-san: If I even see an inch of you penis Fuku-san I'm going to break it in half.  
Fuku-san: Well that's pretty much my whole penis but right on!

Hazuki Residence"

Shenhua: That was very odd.  
Ryo-san: (trying to get the images of Fuku making out out of his head) Tell me about it.  
Shenhua: Are you ok? Aren't you glad to see me?  
Ryo-san: I am. But, this isn't going to work out. I have a lot on my mind right now and I'm trying to settle down. Lan Di is completely out of my head right now and if I see you, he's just going to pop right back up.  
Shenhua: Your mystery man huh? He must be very special to you.  
Ryo-san: I'll pay for your plane ticket back. Get some rest, I'll take you to the airport tomorrow.


	19. Sega's Bankruptcy

Episode 19: S

Episode 19: S.I.3  
"Nothing lasts Forever"

/

"SEGA.2008"

:Yu Suzuki sits with his feet relaxing on his desk:

Sega Employee #1: I can't believe Shenmue 3 was released!  
Sega Employee #2: I know! I thought for sure that Yu would never release it.  
Yu Suzuki: (overly confident) Fear not gentlemen, the glory is here. Shenmue 3 will make millions, and I'm going to give some of the money to you two.  
Sega Employee #2: You hear that?! We're gonna be rich!  
Yu Suzuki: Did I say you two? I meant YouTube. God I love that video with that little boy and those bunnies. Poor poor Tommy. That site is remarkable.  
Sega Employee #2: Thank God the Sega company isn't in debt anymore. Shenmue 3 has saved the day!  
Yu Suzuki: Wait, debt?  
Sega Employee 1: You didn't know?

:Another Sega Employee busts into the room in a panic:  
:There were men, outside, behind him fleeing with their office belongings in boxes:

Sega Employee #3: Oh GOD! Shenmue 3 only sold five copies, Microsoft told us to fuck off, and their auctioning off the company in three days! Yu! We're in serious trouble! GOD HELP US ALL!!

:The employee runs out, slamming the door behind him:  
:Yu remains sitting, staring at the door:  
:Sega Employees #1 and #2 remain in their last positions, staring at the door too:  
:Drastically, Sega Employee #1 pulls out a box and starts to slide everything off of Yu Suzuki's desk:  
:Sega Employee #2 starts to snatch up all of Yu's trophies and Videogame Creator Accomplishment Awards:

Yu Suzuki: Damn my life...

:He lights up a cigarette:

"China.1988"  
"Hong Kong"  
"Local Doctors Office"

:Gui Zhang has a seat, waiting for his name to be called:  
:He starts coughing repetively:  
:Lan Di walks in with his two guards closely behind:

Gui Zhang: Lan Di... Hazuki...

:He snatches some woman's baby out of the carrier and shields his face with him while he scoots sideways towards a back hallway:  
:He finds a phone in an empty office:

"Hazuki Residence"

Ine-san: (answering the phone) Yes?  
Gui Zhang: Where's Hazuki?!  
Ine-san: Oh hi you just missed him. He left for the park.  
Gui Zhang: Blast it!

"Dobuita Park:

:Ryo, Fuku, and Yomagishi-san sit on the bench, watching the little kids play:

Ryo-san: I could sit here all day.  
Fuku-san: Me too! Especially watching those little kids all day. Doesn't it just give you ideas?

:Ryo and Yomagishi-san look at Fuku oddly:

Fuku-san: So! Who's up for Scrabble?!  
Ryo-san: We played that game like a hundred times today Fuku-san. I'm scrabbled out right now.  
Yomagishi-san: I'm going to die.  
Ryo-san: Cheer up Yomagishi-san, there's more to life than just counting your days. There's family, and friends. What more could you ask for?  
Yomagishi-san: I'm going to die soon. I hope death takes me fast.  
Ryo-san: Oh you two. I'm up for some Yu Arcade! Who's with me!?

:Fuku burps:

Fuku-san: What did you say?  
Yomagishi-san: Someone just push me in front of a car.

"SEGA.2008"  
"Parking Lot"

:Everyone speeds out of the lot:  
:Yu walks through the commotion like nothing was happening:  
:He takes out his door unlocker and unlocks his brand new 2009 Mercedes:  
:Two Sega Employees run out of nowhere and start to rob his car:

Yu Suzuki: Hey! Tom and Jim! You both are fired!  
Tom: Fuck you Suzuki!  
Jim: Hey I like your GPS System! I'll take it!

:He rips the GPS off of the mirror:

Yu Suzuki: That's 3000 YEN!

:Tom throws a nearby trashcan through Yu's back window:

Tom:(running off with Jim) Later loser!

"One Week Later"  
"Bank"

Bank Employee: I'm sorry sir, but my computer is saying that you have no money in your checking account.  
Yu Suzuki: How could that be?!  
Bank Employee: Did you already take out all of your money?  
Yu Suzuki:(scratching his head) That's right. I did. It should be in my wallet.  
Bank Employee: Well there you go.

:Yu checks his wallet:

Yu Suzuki: Where's my wallet? That's right! It was stolen yesterday!  
Bank Employee: Looks like your screwed sir.  
Yu Suzuki: Yeah... right...

:He pulls out a gun:

Yu Suzuki: Nobody MOVE! This is a stick up!  
Bank Employee: Wow, aren't you the one for suprises today? Can I give you some advice on this situation too?  
Yu Suzuki:(pointing the gun at the bank employee) Shut up bitch! Get me money now!

:Two masked men stoarm in the bank with shotguns:  
:One of them shoots the cieling:

Masked Man #2: Everyone to the ground!  
Masked Man #1: Their already on the ground dumbass.  
Masked Man #2: Hmmm...

:Masked Man #1 points his shotgun at Yu:

Masked Man #2: Put the gun down!  
Yu Suzuki: Excuse me, I'm kinda of robing this place too! You put the gun down! Both of you! If you don't, I'll shoot this bank lady right here.  
Masked Man #2: Same time!

:They both turns their guns to the side, placing them on the ground:

Masked Man #1: Wait, fuck this, Yu what are you doing?!

:He takes off his mask. It was Sega Employee #1:

Sega Employee #2: Dude! They have cameras!  
Yu Suzuki: This was my idea! You two go blow some other Video Game Creators dick!  
Sega Employee #2: Let's not get greedy now.  
Bank Employee: Just to let you "bank robbers" know, I bought Shenmue 3.  
Yu Suzuki and Sega Employee #1 and #2: Really?

:Bank Employee holds up Shenmue #3:

Yu Suzuki:(suprised) She did! So... what did you think?  
Bank Employee: The fighting was terrible, the voice acting was dull, the graphics looked like something of my little kid's PSP, and there was no need for all of that music on the second disk. The only thing you had good on the music was that it puts my son to sleep everynight. But so you won't end of shooting me, I'll sell this piece of shit to some crackhead, make a few thousand Yen, and give it to you.  
Sega Employee #2: I say we take that Yen offer and get the hell out of here Yu!  
Yu Suzuki: No! (patriotic music starts to play) (a spotlight shines on Yu's face, with the background fading darker) All my life, or at least the last ten years, I've been working on his project. This project called Shenmue. You don't know how bad I wanted it to do good! I would of sold my right testacle for this game to be good! Do you know how big that testacle is! I tryed to be a good Father in the process too, and that's not easy. Now my wife wants a REAL man! Not some videogame creator geek who obsesses over comics and ideas for his next big videogame all day! Shenmue 3 is going to sell, even if I'm not with Sega anymore! And by damnit, I will rise again and be the famous creator I was before!

:Cops raid the bank:  
:Yu Suzuki gets tackled to the ground:

Yu Suzuki: SHENMUE FOREVER!!

:The cops tasers Yu:

Yu Suzuki:(shaking) S-S-S-S-S-S-... D-D-Damnit!

"Hazuki Residence"

:Fuku walks behind Ryo, covering his eyes:

Fuku-san:(leading Ryo towards his room) Don't open yet. Closer. Closer.

:He opens his door and guides Ryo in:

Fuku-san:(uncovering Ryo's eyes) TADA!

:There was a billboard of Ryo standing tall and determined:

Ryo-san: Wow, Fuku-san, that was really kind of you. Can I take it now?  
Fuku-san: Hell no. This is mine. But you can look for a little... still looking... ok, your done now. Just wanted to show you.  
Ryo-san: Brings back memories...  
Fuku-san: I made this out of that picture I took of you back in 86. You were so angry then. You were my idol if you didn't know. My reason to keep living. But your cool now, I guess.  
Ryo-san: That was just a temporary feeling. I feel... I feel no satisfaction from it. Like there's something missing in me. I'm feeling it now more than ever. Fuku-san, I'm going back to China. This fight isn't over.  
Fuku-san: Great but ummm...  
Ryo-san: What?  
Fuku-san: Your pants are looking really tight on you Ryo-san. Let's weigh you in. You have to be in shape before you go back and fight Lan Di. I haven't seen you sparring lately or doing any sort of exercise.

"Rockstar Co.2008"

:The hiring manager at Rockstar Games looks over Yu's resume and job application:

Yu Suzuki: ... and I guarantee you won't be disappointed.  
Hiring Manager: It says that you have a felony. Robing banks huh?  
Yu Suzuki: Uh y-yeah...

:He starts to think that he messed up now:

Hiring Manager: But screw it! Everyone makes mistakes, right?  
Yu Suzuki:(going with the flow) Ha ha right!  
Hiring Manager: It says though that you created Shenmue 3?  
Yu Suzuki: Yes...?  
Hiring Manager: Sorry. We don't want you. Goodbye.

"Nintendo Co."

:Yu demonstrates his awesome skills with the Wii remote:

Yu Suzuki:(breathing heavily with sweat pouring down his face) And there's more where that came from! Imagine that skill but with game creation!  
Hiring Manager: Interesting. Says here that you have a felony where carrying a concealed weapon.  
Yu Suzuki: I ummm... t-that's right.  
Hiring Manager: Ah who cares! I have a gun on me right now!  
Yu Suzuki: Yeah! HAHAHA!  
Hiring Manager: Oh boy, but it says you created...

:Yu gulps:

Hiring Manager: Halo 4?

"Konami Co."

Yu Suzuki: Boy am I a big fan! Ha, big big BIG fan! Ha ha... you don't even realize how much I love your work. Oh boy, Super Smash Bros. was AWESOME! Hahaha!  
Hiring Manager: Have a seat sir.  
Yu Suzuki:(sitting down immediately) Yes sir.  
Hiring Manager: Obviously you don't know jack shit about other videogames besides the one's you've created but... you robbed a damn bank!  
Yu Suzuki: I was desperate! Sega crashed!  
Hiring Manager: What were you thinking! I'm sending in a recommendation saying that your a very dangerous man and NO company should hire you!  
Yu Suzuki: Fine...  
Hiring Manager: But I began to think... we could use someone who goes to desperate measures to get the job done! Show's persistance!  
Yu Suzuki: Duh! That's what I was going to say next! Hahaha!  
Hiring Manager:(shaking Yu's hand) Congratulations! When would you like to start?  
Yu Suzuki: Right away! In fact, at this very mo-  
Hiring Manager:(flipping through Yu's application) Your created Shenmue 2?  
Yu Suzuki: That's right! But I did not created Shenmue 3.  
Hiring Manager: Hmmm... oh who gives a rats ass! Right?!  
Yu Suzuki: Right! HAHAHA!

:The hiring manager gets up and puts his arm around Yu:

Hiring Manager: I like you! Come on, let's go for a cup of coffee!  
Yu Suzuki: I'll hold you to that one!

:The hiring manager throws Yu out of his office window, Yu falls three storys and lands in a dumpster:

Yu Suzuki:(with trash all over him) I smell chicken...

:He sniffs around:

"Hazuki Residence"

:Ine-san lies on the floor:

Fuku-san: Ryo-san, stand on Ine-san.  
Ryo-san: Are you sure?  
Fuku-san: She's too old to feel anything. Her bones are probably so flabby that they could take anything.

:Ryo stands on Ine-san:  
:Ine-san cringes:  
:Her face turns red and her legs start to twitch:

Fuku-san: Ine-san, how do you feel right now?  
Ine-san: I feel like an elephant is standing on me.  
Fuku-san: Ryo-san, your too big to return back to China.

:Ryo-san inzips his pants:  
:One of his buttons fly off:

Ryo-san: Whoa, haven't done that in a while.

:He lifts his two spare tires:  
:Ine-san does a pushup:

Ine-san: Wow! I'm strong!

:Ryo lets his fat go:  
:Ine-san's arms give out:  
:She clashes with the floor:


	20. Fukusans Help

Episode 20: S

Episode 20: S.I.3  
"Hazuki's NEVER Quit!"

/

"Hazuki Residence"

Strange Voice: Ryo…. wake up…  
Ryo-san: (talking in his sleep) No… let me sleep.  
Strange Voice: I can do awful thing's to you right now.  
Ryo-san: (grumbling) Just five more minutes.  
Strange Voice: Wake up!

:Ryo opens his eyes, figuring what he heard was just in his dreams:

Iwao: (standing at the doorway) Son.  
Ryo-san: Father!

:Iwao was surrounded by a great beam of white light:

Iwao: Don't try and hug me. I'm just a figment of your imagination. Don't tell me you still wet the bed?

:Ryo looks down, seeing a big spot of yellow over his white silky pajamas:

Ryo-san: I'm under a lot of stress Father.  
Iwao: Apparently. Son, I've traveled through numerous dimensions to give you a word of wisdom. Get out of here. Go fight Lan Di. No son of mine quits!  
Ryo-san: Look at me! I'm fat!

:He juggles his fat rolls:

Ryo-san: Instead of fighting, Lan Di will just laugh and throw some diet pills at me.  
Iwao: Lesson Number 567….?!  
Ryo-san: No matter what is weighing you down, always remember that you still have the same inner strength.  
Iwao: Yes! And that applies to being fat too.  
Ryo-san: So you agree Father?!  
Iwao: Whoa! Look at the time. Time for me to make my way back to Heaven. Be strong son! I believe in you. I have your life on Channel 234 on Heaven's Direct TV. I will be watching your every move! And don't screw up, it's On Demand so I'm paying for it. Farewell my son.

:He turns around and walks off:  
:A big flash blinds Ryo, then a few moments later, Iwao is gone:

Ryo-san: No matter what's weighing me down…. no matter what. FUKU-SAN!!

"Fuku-san's Room"

Ryo-san: Fuku-san wake up!  
Fuku-san: (in his sleep) Let the baby sleep a little while longer…

:He sucks on his thumb:

Ryo-san: WAKE UP!!  
Fuku-san: GAH! I'm up! I'm up!  
Ryo-san: We have training to do! Get ready and meet me outside in ten!

"Outside the Hazuki Residence"

Ine-san: (half asleep in her nightgown) Fuku-san what's going on?  
Fuku-san: Ryo-san, old Ine-san here is Lan Di. Just take away the boobs and imagine her all built and stuff. Attack!  
Ryo-san: Are you sure?  
Ine-san: N-No… Fuku-san…  
Fuku-san: (looking dead at Ine-san) Ine-san shut up! Hehe.. (looking at Ryo-san) Attack Ryo-san!

:Ryo double blows Ine-san:  
:He Tornado Kicks her in the face, punches her a few times in her stomach, and elbows her in her privates:  
:Ine-san falls to the ground, unconscious:

Fuku-san: YEAH!  
Ryo-san: That felt good…  
Fuku-san: That looked awesome!  
Ryo-san: I'm feeling ready now… I'm feeling strong. I'm feeling like kicking some ass….  
Fuku-san: That's the spirit!  
Ryo-san: I'm feeling like SWIMMING ACROSS THE PACIFIC TO CHINA AND WHOOPING LAN DI'S CHINESE LOVIN ASS!!  
Fuku-san: Wait… what?

:Ryo barges through the gate and down the street, screaming out cuss words:

Fuku-san: (chasing after him) Ryo-san wait!

"The Beach"

:Ryo dives into the ocean and starts swimming:  
:He makes it a couple yards then starts to whale his arms in panic:

Ryo-san: Fuku-san help! I'm not going to make it!  
Fuku-san: Swim back!  
Ryo-san: I can't! Come save me! I did this all wrong!  
Fuku-san: Oh lord…

:Fuku puts on his training floats and jumps into the ocean:

Fuku-san: I'm coming Ryo-san!!

"Airplane.1986"

:Tom sits on the airplane, awaiting for his arrival to the states:  
:He turns towards the passenger who was sharing the seat row with him:

Tom: Hey maun. I'm Tom.  
Little Boy: Travis.  
Tom: Why are you on this plane?  
Travis: My dad told me to get on the plane, sit there, and when the plane lands, I'd find my Mother.

:A few rows back, Nozomi sits, awaiting for her connecting flight to Canada:

Nozomi: (talking to the person next to her) So you're an Actor?  
Actor: Yes. I'm coming back from filming in Tokyo.  
Nozomi: Wow. So your really famous? That's awesome!  
Actor: Names Johnny. Johnny Timberland. You've probably heard of me before and I'm not talking about the Timberland Boots either.  
Nozomi: Those are some good boots.  
Johnny: Can I tell you a secret?  
Nozomi: Sure. I promise I won't laugh.  
Johnny: My last few films were major blowouts. I'm thinking of quitting the business all together. It's just not for me.  
Nozomi: I think you should keep acting. All actors and actresses have bad films. It's a part of becoming famous.  
Johnny: Let me be the judge of that Ms. Goodie Two Shoes.  
Nozomi: Call me that again and I'll break your neck in half. None of your top Doctor's will be able to fix you.

:Johnny cringes:

:A few rows back, Honey-san sits, turning towards her partner:

Honey-san: How's it going?  
Man: (gripping his briefcase up to his chest and turning pale) F-Fine.  
Honey-san: What's wrong with you?  
Man: I have a fear of flying. Leave me be.  
Honey-san: I'm a nymphomaniac.  
Man: Me too. Just not on a plane. Oh God, I hope we don't crash.  
Honey-san: Have you ever ordered dark chocolate before?  
Man: No.  
Honey-san: (grabbing the man's hand) Quick. The bathrooms get filled up fast:

:She yanks the man out of his seat:  
:They walk quickly past Tom and Travis:

Tom: (pointing at Honey-san) See that's what we call a slut. Avoid them at all costs.

:Travis takes out a notepad and writes down what Tom said:

Tom: What are you doing?  
Travis: My dad told me to write down all my experiences I have on this trip. For memories.  
Tom: (lifting his eyebrow) You want to have another experience? Listen to this maun. One time, there was this black car…

"Dojo.1988"

:Ryo walks into the Dojo, spotting Ine-san getting her back cracked by an unusual man in spandex:

Ine-san: Hi Ryo-san. This is my new Yoga Instructor, Rafael.  
Rafael: Hola.  
Ryo-san: That's great. Ine-san, I'm going to be leaving soon for China. Just thought I'd let you know.  
Ine-san: Going to fight the good fight huh? I wish you the best of luck.  
Rafael: Ewww hehehe… and I'll take a real good care of Ine-sana here. Yesss….  
Ine-san: I realized I needed to find my inner flexibility Ryo-san. Getting old isn't as easy as it looks. There's more to just being dust in the wind than you think.  
Ryo-san: Good luck Ine-san. I wish you the best of luck.

:Ryo walks off:

Ine-san: (punching Rafael) You had to make it so obvious?!  
Rafael: What you mean?  
Ine-san: He knows we're not doing Yoga.  
Rafael: I so sorry.  
Ine-san: You so better jump on me right now.

"The Streets of Yokosuka"

The Song "The Eye of the Tiger" Plays…

:Ryo jogs in his tight sweat pants, white beater, and a Sega Corp. Headband:  
:Fuku jogs along side of Ryo, yelling at him every time he loses pace:

Song: Risin' up, back on the street  
Did my time, took my chances  
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet  
Just a man and his will to survive…

:Ryo jogs through Yomanose, pumped and keeping his feet moving:  
:When he sweated, he let himself sweat, when he needed to drink, he drank the whole damn bottle, when he needed to piss, he went ahead and went, but he KEPT ON RUNNING:

Song: So many times, it happens too fast  
You change your passion for glory  
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past  
You must fight just to keep them alive….

Fuku-san: (yelling in Ryo's ear while jogging at his side) You will never give up! You will keep running! Lose that weight fat boy! Lose that weight chubby ass! Lose that weight and FIGHT! I don't give a damn if you want a Twinkie right now, YOU KEEP ON RUNNING! I don't care if-  
Ryo-san: (turning towards Fuku-san) Fuku-san shut the FUCK UP!!  
Fuku-san: (looking forward) You got it.

Song:  
Chorus:  
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight  
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger…

:Ryo weighs himself in after two weeks of straight jogging and sparring:

Ryo-san: Fuku-san….  
Fuku-san: (nodding his head in satisfaction) You are ready my young Padawan.

"A Hilltop overlooking Ryo's Departing Ship"

:Ryo and Fuku stand together:

Ryo-san: Thank you Fuku-san. For everything. I'm a much stronger person now that both Shenmue 1 and 2 combined.  
Fuku-san: Don't mention it.

:Ryo puts his hand on Fuku's shoulder:

Ryo-san: Fuku-san…  
Fuku-san: Yeah babe?  
Ryo-san: Ha. You're a very unusual guy.  
Fuku-san: Hey if you ever need any drugs while your in China. Hit me up.  
Ryo-san: Goodbye Fuku-san.

:Ryo straps his bag around his shoulders and starts to walk down the hill:  
:He slips on a rock and falls forward:  
:He tumbles down, sliding on a trail of mud:  
:He smacks into a couple rocks here and there, finally stopping at the bottom of the hill on his face:  
:He jumps to his feet with dirt falling from his mouth:

Ryo-san: I'm ok!

:Fuku waves:  
:Ryo walks off towards the boat:

"China"  
"Lan Di's Mansion"

Lan Di: A big operation is happening soon my men. The Chiyu Men will combine, we will take over China, we will use the Dragon and Phoenix Mirrors to revive the monster Chi You, and we will become the most powerful criminal organization in the world!!  
Guard #1: Uhhmmm… Master? We don't have the mirrors anymore. That Japanese guy took them, remember?  
Lan Di: Ok so my plan might be a little delayed. We will get those mirrors!  
Guard #2: Uhhmm… Master? Why are wearing just your underwear?  
Lan Di: What, so I have to be clothed every time I send you guys in here?

:Lan Di holds a button on his intercom:

Lan Di: Send in my robe!

Lan Di: It's at the dry cleaners. I told them to use the Fresh Breeze scented fabric softener this time.  
Guard #1: Good choice Lan Di Sama!  
Lan Di: Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce my third official guard. He's new, but he's well trained. Guard #3!!

:Guard #3 walks in:  
:He wore a silver suited tuxedo with clear, transparent sunglasses:

Lan Di: He's a new model. Like the T-1000. He's got more gadgets than my forth wife.  
Guard #3: (casually) What's up guys?  
Guard #1: Hey.  
Guard #2: Hi.  
Guard #3: I'm here to serve you and only you, Master Sama.

:Guard #3 bows:  
:Lan Di laughs:

Lan Di: Hey, Guard #3, wax my legs for me. Will ya?

:Guard #3 takes out a bottle of warm oil:

Lan Di: I'm just kidding! Ha. I love this guy. He's even got wax oil.

:Guard #1 and #2 scratch their heads:  
:Lan Di stands up:

Lan Di: Now my three trusty guards, go now and find that little Japanese boy. Bring him to me, alive! Or half alive, doesn't matter. As long as he can talk. Or however you prefer….  
Guard #1, #2, and #3: ………………..  
Lan Di: But bring him HERE! This game is just getting started… muahahaha!


	21. Locked up

Episode 21: S

Episode 21: S.I.3  
"Fate has it's Reasons"

/

(Ryo's Journal)

I left China thinking I was wasting my time finding Lan Di.

Returned to Yokosuka, my hometown, and relaxed.

Fuku-san gave me the determination to return to China and defeat Lan Di.

What was I thinking?

I still have BOTH the mirrors and my hunt of Lan Di ISN'T over.

Just got back on the boat, once more, and heading for China.

More interested now in finding why this is all taking place.

Lan Di didn't JUST show up at my house for nothing.

Need to find out what is so damn important about these mirrors, and my fate.

END of Entry #8.

"?"

Ryo-san: Now Lan Di, pray for mercy!

:Ryo locks his right hand around Lan Di's throat and raises him in the air like he did to him back in the Dojo:

Lan Di: It's not my fault I wanted vengeance, just like you.

:Ryo uses his two fingers and jabs Lan Di up his stomach:  
:Lan Di falls and dies instantly:  
:Suddenly, the ground disappears beneath Ryo:  
:Ryo falls, surrounded by darkness:  
:He was unable to move:  
:A red object flys towards him:  
:Yu Suzuki's face appears:  
:His face was wooden and he had two red dots on both of his cheeks, resembling a clown:

Yu Suzuki: GAME OVER. Ha ha ha. GAME OVER. Ha ha ha...

:This continued for a while:

Ryo-san: (floating away into darkness) Noooooooooooooo!!

"The Boat. 1989."  
"Ryo's Cabin"

:Ryo awakes:  
:He was drenched in sweat:  
:His cabin door opens:

Chai: Heya Ryo!  
Ryo-san: Chai?

:Chai was wearing blue overalls and a round blue hat:  
:He was happier than ever:

Chai: I work on the boat now. Fresh towels?  
Ryo-san: I'm fine.  
Chai: Do you have enough soap?  
Ryo-san: I'm fine! T-Thank you.  
Chai: Ok. Remember, I'm a bell away.

:Chai walks off:  
:Ryo shuts the door behind him:

Ryo-san: (sitting back down on his bunkbed) Something's not right. That dream felt too real. More real than the dream I had after Father passed. The prophecy states that I will meet the girl from the West, and we will brave together. My inner courage shall determine my fate. Oh but what does it all mean?

:Ryo takes out a book entitled "Ninja Warrior's! Season One Information":

Ryo-san: (flipping through the pages) Where the hell is Super Sushi Bhudda God's scores at?

"Boat Dock's"  
"Worker's Pier"

:Ryo steps out the boat:  
:He smells his first breath of newfound air:  
:A fisherman stood at the bottom of the steps, holding a sign that read,"Rihoe Hazuki":

Ryo-san: Excuse me?  
Fisherman: Are you Rihoe Hazuki?  
Ryo-san: It's Ree-Yo Hazuki.  
Fisherman: That's what it says. Follow me.

:Ryo walks off with the fisherman:

Rihoe Haziki: (stepping off the boat) Where the hell is that fisherman?

"Fisherman's Wharf"

Ryo-san: Before we go any further...

:Ryo looks at the fisherman suspiciously:  
:The fisherman gulps:

Ryo-san: Can you show me where a telephone is around here?  
Fisherman: S-Sure! Follow me.  
Ryo-san: Great. Thank you so much.

:The fisherman points in the direction of the phone:  
:Ryo picks up the telephone and calls his old Stakeout Apartment:  
:Last time he left China, he left the apartment to Gui Zhang to take care of:

? Woman from the Stakeout Apartment: (answering) Hello?  
Ryo-san: Is Gui Zhang there?  
? Woman: I'm sorry. I don't know that name. But when I first moved in, there was a note left with a number on it. I so happened to keep it.  
Ryo-san: Give me that number.

:Ryo hangs up and dials the number:

Gui Zhang: Yeah?  
Ryo-san: Gui Zhang! Where are you?! Did you give my apartment up to some hooker you met at a bar?!  
Gui Zhang: Well, yeah, but that's besides the point. Hazuki, your in a big trouble.  
Ryo-san: How so?  
Gui Zhang: Well, I'm in jail.  
Ryo-san: What!?

"Hong Kong City Jail"

Security Officer: Ok tough guy, your minutes are up. I saw you sneaking another call on me.

:Gui Zhang was dressed in a black jail suit with Hong Kong Jail inprinted on the back:  
:His hair was no longer stylish and to the side:  
:It hung straight down. You could barely see his eyes:

Gui Zhang: (sweating) Just one more second. (getting back on the phone) Come get me! Dear God! I don't think I can survive another day in here! Hazuki! Hurry!

:The security guard tackles Gui Zhang:

Gui Zhang: I get another PHONE CALL!!

"Gui Zhang's Cell"

:Gui Zhang leans up against the bars, counting all of the inmates that were passing and blowing him kisses:  
:He figured he'd try to build up as many image memories of them:  
:Just to be on the safe side but he knew he wouldn't remember all:  
:Gui Zhang shielded his asshole heavily:

Black Guy: Ay!  
Gui Zhang: (jumping) Yeah?  
Black Guy: You got a tattoo yet homie?  
Gui Zhang: I have many.  
Black Guy: All I see is pure, beautiful, creamy, soft...

:Gui Zhang gulps:

Black Guy: ... but more of it is rotten!

:Gui Zhang takes a breath of satisfaction:  
:The bars open:

Officer down the Jail Set: Recess time ladies!  
Black Guy: It's Tattoo Time for me and you babyskin boy.  
Gui Zhang: You know I figured I'd just go play some basketball.  
Black Guy: MOVE!  
Gui Zhang: Yeah, right. Tattoo Time.

"City Jail Recreation Yard"  
"Benches"

:Gui Zhang lays on his stomach with his pants pulled to his ankles while a big jailmate named Mary gave him a tattoo of little red roses on his right asscheek:

Gui Zhang: Hazuki... h-help me.

:Mary's focus slips and he draws a big, accidental line of black ink down the corner of Gui Zhang's right ass cheek:

Mary: Ooops. Sorry about that. By the way, I must say, your ass is very puuuuuurtay. Can't wait for the showers after recess.

:Gui Zhang spots a couple of Mexican inmates secretively exchanging weapons: small screwdrivers, lighters, little pocket knives, and ice picks:  
:One of the Mexicans drops the Ice Pick accidentally:

Gui Zhang: Yeah. Can't wait for the showers either.

"Fisherman's Wharf"

:The fisherman leads Ryo into a boat that obviously smelled like rotten fish:  
:He walks into a room:  
:A skinny man was inside that looked exactly like a anorexic, more baggier version of Don Niu:

? Man: Hello!  
Ryo-san: Hello. You remind me of someone.  
? Man: It's me, Don Niu!  
Ryo-san: (putting his fists up) Don Niu!  
Don Niu: Relax. I'm on your side now.  
Ryo-san: (scratching his head) Wow. I missed a lot. You got thin and I like the tan.  
Don Niu: Do you? I got it from the week I spent out in the Caribbean.  
Ryo-san: Very nice.  
Don Niu: Anyways, I'm trying to find Lan Di too. I figured, who else is more into it than I am? That Japanese boy! So here you are, and here I am too. Are you worried?  
Ryo-san: No. I'm stronger than ever!  
Don Niu: You worry about the prophecy.  
Ryo-san: Sometimes, yes.  
Don Niu: I have someone who might be able to help you. Do you have a pen?  
Ryo-san: (Patting himself down) Don't think so.

:Don Niu walks outside on to the Boat Deck and starts to puke off the edge:

Fisherman: I hate it when he does this.

:Many things fell out from his mouth:  
:Including a barstool, two hundred pounds of squished up pizza, a mixture of yellow and green colors, decroded fish, a few keys, and a pen:

Don Niu: I found a new way to lose weight. I wrote a book. Turns out, it got a place on the charts as one of the Worst Dietary Books Ever Sold. Apparently, some rocker in the late 50's sang too much, got depressed, did heroine, started to hate his life, and began to make himself throw up all day everyday. Grownups started to do it, now teenagers mostly do it, and blah blah blah...  
Ryo-san: Riiiiight. So how about that address?

"Hong Kong City Jail"  
"Showering Room"

:Gui Zhang strips all of his clothes and walks under his faucet:  
:Mary walks in followed by three of his other ruff necked, muscular friends:

Mary: There he is.  
Mary's Friend #1: We've tapped that ass like five times already. I say we go for the new little Asian. He's over there and his name is Wang Hoe. That's enough of a reason right there.  
Mary: Quiet! We do what I say.  
Mary's Friend #2: Mary is right. That guy's got a red rose tattooed on his ass, he's standing kind of crooked, maybe he's converted now?

:Gui Zhang unwraps the Ice Peak he found during recess:  
:He was hiding it in his hair:

Mary's Friend #3: He's even styling his hair. It's a go!  
Mary: Let's get him.

:Mary closes in on Gui Zhang:  
:Gui Zhang slides around on the watery floor and stabs Mary in the stomach with the ice pick:  
:Mary plunges to the floor:  
:Mary's friends take a step back:

Gui Zhang: (acting scared) My God! This man has fainted!

:The shower security officers run in for Gui Zhang:  
:The floor was so slippery that they all fell:  
:Gui Zhang runs out of the showers bare naked:  
:He runs down a hallway and opens the first Exit door he saw:  
:He runs outside on the deck and sees that the entire jail was surrounded by water:  
:Hong Kong was miles away:

Gui Zhang: Noooooo!!

:His scream echoed:  
:Snipers took their posts from surrounding towers:

Sniper over an intercom: Stop immediately or we will fire!  
Whale from Below: Believe in yourself. Jump.  
Gui Zhang: Your a whale?  
Whale: I will catch you. Jump now!

:Gui Zhang makes the jump:  
:He falls eight stories, landing on the whales back:  
:Gui Zhang rode off with the speeding whale:

Gui Zhang: (letting the wind hit his sweet bare naked body) This is so awesome!  
Whale: I'm the Magical Whale Duggy. Nice to meet you.

:Duggy jumps out of the water and through random rainbow rings in the sky:

Gui Zhang: To Hong Kong! I have unfinished business and a friend to care to!

:Duggy follows the magical rainbow rings towards the shining lights of the city:

"Lapis Fortune Teller"

:Ryo walks in:  
:The room was quiet:  
:A whirlwind of purple sand appears:  
:Lapis forms from the sand:

Ryo-san: You work in China too?  
Lapis: How do you think I get around?  
Ryo-san: I need to know my destiny. My prophecy.  
Lapis: Another one huh. But I like you. Your interesting. I always see crazy stuff when I use my balls on you.  
Ryo-san: Uhhmm... your balls? Isn't that a bit too much?  
Lapis: Their balls. What do you want me to say? Crystal clear balls.  
Ryo-san: I see.  
Lapis: Have a seat.

:Ryo sits down at Lapis's Magical table:  
:Lapis moves her hands around above her ball:

Lapis: Ahhhh ehhh... Ah ha! Ah ha! Ah ha! Ah ha!...

:Ryo looks at his watch:

Lapis: ... ah ha! ah ha!

:Ryo yawns:

Lapis: Appears you will be having to make a choice.  
Ryo-san: What kind of choice?  
Lapis: The ones you love or the one the desire. Notice how I said the "one" you desire.  
Ryo-san: Lan Di...  
Lapis: Don't know his name but he's sexy.

:Lapis makes the vision in her ball switch to High Definition:

Lapis: Ohhh yeah.  
Ryo-san: Excuse me, my reading please?  
Lapis: You are standing in front of him. You both are facing each other. You both are about to fight it appears.  
Ryo-san: This helps a lot.  
Lapis: But wait! My ball is creating more cemen.  
Ryo-san: ...  
Lapis: There are two images in the background. People I'm assuming. One wearing a black suit, his hair stylishly to the side.  
Ryo-san: That's Gui Zhang.  
Lapis: And a woman dressed in orange. Looks like she's from the wilderness of China.  
Ryo-san: That's Shenhua.  
Lapis: But that fellow in the black suit...  
Ryo-san: Gui Zhang?  
Lapis: Yes. He's, well it looks like he's flirting with ummm...  
Ryo-san: (desperately) Flirting with Shenhua?  
Lapis: Oh wait, now Shenhua is unclothed and Gui Zhang is wearing her clothes and... oh this is just messed up.  
Ryo-san: Tell me everything!  
Lapis: Haha just fucking with you. Relax. Your suppose to be relaxed in this atmosphere or else my balls will just explode!  
Ryo-san: (throwing his money at Lapis) Your really a cheap, stupid dumb whore aren't you? Take your money. You suck at this profession.

:Ryo walks out:

Lapis: Come again!

"Outside Lapis Fortune"

Ryo-san: Father, help me. Please. Where must I go now?  
Gui Zhang: (from behind) I'll tell you.  
Ryo-san: Gui Zhang!  
Gui Zhang: Ok. Don't get all sentimental on me.  
Ryo-san: What's with the whale?

:Gui Zhang was sitting on a large cage, holding Duggy captive inside:

Duggy: How could you do such a thing?! I thought we were magical bestfriends!

:Duggy starts to cry:

Gui Zhang: (kicking Duggy in the side) Shut up bitch! Speak only when spoken too! (looking back at Ryo) So Hazuki, I have food for the rest of the week.  
Ryo-san: That's great. I say we just cook that whale right here because it's going to be hell to carry around.  
Gui Zhang: Good idea. Mind helping?  
Ryo-san: Sure!  
Duggy: But I'm a magical whale! I'm the world's bestfriend!  
Gui Zhang: Your also going to make the best whale meat. You didn't notice how I was sooping you up with urban food spices and cherry juice while I was riding you?


	22. The Hair Gel

Episode 22: S

Episode 22: S.I. 3  
"Life and Death"

"Hazuki Residence.1968"

Kiyoko: I'm ready to have sex now.  
Iwao: Are you sure? I don't want you to do anything your uncomfortable about.  
Kiyoko: Iwao, I'm ready to have a baby.  
Iwao: (ripping off his shirt) Finally!  
Kiyoko: (taking off her pants) What should he or she's name be?  
Iwao: (already naked) I'm too worked up to be creative right now.

:Iwao lays on the bed:  
:Kiyoko remains standing:

Iwao: What's wrong?  
Kiyoko: Nothing. I'm just so happy that we're finally going to make love.  
Iwao: Me too. Can we do this now?  
Kiyoko: (smiling) I love you Iwao.  
Iwao: I love you too.

:Kiyoko lays on the bed:  
:Iwao gets on top:  
:He slips his dick inside of Kiyoko:  
:Yu Suzuki walks in:

Yu Suzuki: (enthusiastically )Welcome to the beginning. Right now Iwao is creating young Ryo-san. Watch as he gently thrusts into Ryo's Mother. It's a great making to a great adventure.  
Iwao: (turning his head towards Yu) Excuse me?  
Yu Suzuki: It's amazing. Iwao can't even believe it's happening to him.  
Iwao: I'm trying to have sex here!  
Yu Suzuki: I love it how he recaptures his sex making verbally.  
Kiyoko: Honey, I don't feel comfortable making love with this weirdo in the room.  
Iwao: Me neither honey. Hold on.

:Iwao gets up and looks under his bed:

Yu Suzuki: What's this? He's examining the bed to make sure it's strong enough. Excellent observation.

:Iwao hits Yu Suzuki upside the head with a baseball bat:

Iwao: Fucking sicko!  
Yu Suzuki: (on the floor) I am oozing blood. Amazing.

"China"  
"Hong Kong. 1989."  
"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

Gui Zhang: Hazuki, come out of the bathroom. You've been in there for two days.  
Ryo-san: Can you slid me lunch under the door?  
Gui Zhang: No. I'm not going to be a partner to a bitch no longer.

:Ryo opens the door:

Ryo-san: I had a dream Gui Zhang. I fought Lan Di and killed him. Afterwards, I fell down a dark hole and some strange man said Game Over. Then everything went black and I woke up. I know I have a prophecy. I know I'm meant to grow, and to realize my true self. But maybe after everything I accomplish and defeating Lan Di, my life ends.  
Gui Zhang: I call dibs on your jacket.  
Ryo-san: You like it huh? It was home made by my Mother.  
Gui Zhang: For you?  
Ryo-san: No. For some biker she was dating at the time. Turns out, Father walked in the room right before she was going to hand it to him and took it. Then Father started to wear it. Then passed it down to me. So you can say it's a traditional thing.

:Gui Zhang walks past Ryo and looks at his bottle of Hair Gel:  
:The bottle was empty:

Gui Zhang: Did you use the rest of my gel?  
Ryo-san: Yeah. I'll go buy you some more.  
Gui Zhang: You can't buy this! It's my own secret ingredient!  
Ryo-san: I had to spike my hair somehow. I ran out of my own. Sorry.  
Gui Zhang: Do you realize what you've done?! Not only will you have to buy me some more, but you'll have to buy me all of the ingredients to make some more!  
Ryo-san: (taking out his journal) What do I need?

"Local Library"

:Ryo walks up to the librarian:

Ryo-san: Hello. Can you direct me to the section on prophecies?  
Librarian: Are you another one of those freaks that makes up days that the world's going to end?  
Ryo-san: No. I'm Ryo Hazuki. From the Hazuki Dojo in-  
Librarian: Yomanose.  
Ryo-san: (shocked) Ha. How'd you know that?  
Librarian: My son trained at your dad's Dojo School ten years ago.  
Ryo-san: Amazing man isn't he?  
Librarian: And a horrible teacher. My son went into your dad's school with a blue belt and actually came out of the school with a lower belt. Which I didn't think was possible. He also gained ten pounds and didn't leave the tv for a few months afterwards. I had to have my grandfather, who was nearly on his deathbed, to re-teach him. Books on prophecies, aisle five.  
Ryo-san: I won't be long.

:Ryo grabs six books dealing with prophecies and walks back to the librarian:

Ryo-san: I'd like to check these out.  
Librarian: Not until you do me a favor.  
Ryo-san: This is very important.  
Librarian: So is this. You have to re-teach my son everything he should of learned at your father's school. He wasted two years of his life on bullshit.  
Ryo-san: Give me the address.

:Ryo writes it down:

Ryo-san: And one more thing, can you give me a couple small packages of coffee creamer?  
Librarian: Sure thing.

:Ryo crosses out an ingredient to Gui Zhang's hair gel:

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

Ryo-san: Gui Zhang. I have your ingredients.  
Gui Zhang: (from the kitchen) Hurry!

:Ryo walks around the corner to the kitchen, immediately being accosted by Gui Zhang:  
:Gui Zhang grabs Ryo's bag with all of his ingredients and runs to the stove, dumping them into a bowling pot of red goo:

Gui Zhang: You were almost too late!  
Ryo-san: What happens now?  
Gui Zhang: We wait.

:The red goo starts to grow:  
:The goo almost pours out of the pot:  
:The goo pulsates like it was one big solid chunk:

Gui Zhang: This is good. This is good. The color blue is what we want.  
Ryo-san: But it's red right now.  
Gui Zhang: It shifts colors when it's completely boiled.  
Ryo-san: If you ask me, I think this is completely unnecessary for just some hair gel.  
Gui Zhang: Just some hair gel?! Would any ordinary hair gel have a smell like roses?!

:Ryo shrugs:

Gui Zhang: Would any other hair gel crack a piece of glass just by touching it?! Would any other hair gel spend with me the many lonely nights I have faced?!  
Ryo-san: (pointing at the pot) It's red now.  
Gui Zhang: (facing the pot) Fuck! Hazuki quick! Find the top to this pot!  
Ryo-san: I never use the kitchen. How would I know?  
Gui Zhang: How could you remain so calm you bastard!

"Man Mo Apartments"

:Ryo knocks at Apartment #12:  
:A pale man answers with glasses:

Ryo-san: Are you Fred?  
Fred: That I am. Who are you?

:Fred quiches his eyes like he hasn't seen sunlight in years:

Ryo-san: I'm here to teach you Martial Arts. Your Mother sent me.  
Fred: What does she do for a living?  
Ryo-san: She's a librarian.  
Fred: Wrong! She's a professional Excite Bike Champion!  
Ryo-san: No. She's not.  
Fred: Wait. That's me. Never mind.  
Ryo-san: (putting his hand on Fred's shoulder) I've realized my Father created a lot of trouble for you. I'm here in hope that you will forgive him one day. My name is Ryo Hazuki from the Hazuki Dojo in-  
Fred: Hell! Oh my God! He's back to get me again! I will not accept your invitation! How could you do this to me?!  
Ryo-san: I'm so confused.  
Fred: Oh damn the world!

:Fred takes out a razor, slits his wrists a few times, then jumps out of his window:  
:Ryo hears a crash below and a few people screaming:

Ryo-san: That went well…

:A random man walks past Ryo:

Ryo-san: Hi. I'm Ryo Hazuki from the Hazuki Dojo in Yomanose.  
Man: And why are you telling me this?  
Ryo-san: I just wanted to say that because the last two people I said it to didn't let me finish.

"Local Library"

:Ryo walks in:

Librarian: Hello. How's Freddy? He's probably an awesome fighter now!

:Ryo punches the librarian in the face:  
:The librarian passes out:  
:Ryo snatches his prophecy books and all of the money too:

Ryo-san: Peace!

"?"

Guard #1: So Lan Di Sama expects us to find this Japanese guy in this huge city?  
Guard #2: That's right.

:Lan Di's new guard, Guard #3, thinks up a quick plan:

Guard #3: We just go to a place where a lot of Japanese folks hang out.  
Guard #2: We could order Japanese food and torture the delivery guy until he tells us!  
Guard #1: Great idea!  
Guard #3: What's the odd's of that? I say we go to the nearby Japanese festival that just hit town. If this guy is a true Japanese, than he's attending.  
Guard #1: But how? I know I'm not walking. We need the black car.

:The three guards stand in front of the Black Car:

Guard #2: But Master said we couldn't drive it.  
Guard #3: I have my license.  
Guard #1: I did too until I recently gotten it taken away for a DUI.  
Guard #2: Haha I told you never to let Master make you that mixed drink.  
Guard #3: No worries.

:Guard #3 takes out his homemade lock pick:  
:He picks the door and hotwires the car:

Guard #3: Ready?  
Guard #1: (leaning over and whispering to Guard #2) I don't like this guy. I say we kill him.  
Guard #2: (whispering) Shhhh… he might have ultra sensitive ears. I mean he has everything else.  
Guard #1: I'm going to strangle him while he's driving. He'll never know what hit him.  
Guard #2: Wait until after we catch the Japanese guy. We'll play it smart.  
Guard #1: Deal.

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:Ryo poured hours into reading the prophecy books:

Ryo-san: (while reading) An inspired message pertaining to the future….

:He slams the book closed:

Ryo-san: … but nothing pertaining to the death of the individual! This is pointless! I need to go ask Shenhua. She'll know.  
Gui Zhang: Want my opinion?  
Ryo-san: Sure. Dumb it down for me.  
Gui Zhang: I think your girl crazy. It's not the prophecy your worried about, it's Shenhua. She told you all of this stuff to brainwash you. Now your on her like flies on shit Hazuki. Get a grip on yourself. Your making death sound like it's a big deal. Kill the man and be done with it.  
Ryo-san: You think?  
Gui Zhang: I know! That's what I'm here for.  
Ryo-san: I say we still go visit here.  
Gui Zhang: I'm staying right here. You go on if you want to.  
Ryo-san: (standing up) Fine! I will! I wish you stayed injured!  
Gui Zhang: Don't put that curse on me Hazuki!  
Ryo-san: No I do. I wish you lost your leg and rolled in a wheelchair for the rest of your life!  
Gui Zhang: How would you feel if you cruched around for weeks at a time getting called Tiny Tim?! I'll never be the same Hazuki!  
Ryo-san: Good riddance then!

:Ryo walks out, slamming the door behind him:  
:Gui Zhang notices that Ryo left his journal:

Gui Zhang: Hehe.

:Gui Zhang rips out a few pieces of paper from Ryo's events in Yokosuka:  
:He walks into the bathroom and takes a massive shit:  
:He starts to wipe his ass with the pieces of paper:

Gui Zhang: Sweet. Now Hazuki's memories from Terry have shit on them.

"Japanese Culture Festival"

:Lan Di's three guards sat at a table, drinking some kind of tea representing the culture of Japan:

Guard #1: This tea is actually pretty good.  
Guard #2: I know! This is my third cup.  
Guard #1: Maybe when we catch this Japanese guy, he'll make us some before Lan Di Sama kills him.  
Guard #3: Shut up you two. Stay focused.

:The guards browse through the walking crowd of Japanese:  
:Guard #3 takes out a picture of Ryo:

Guard #3: See anything?  
Guard #1: No.  
Guard #2: I'm bored.  
Guard #1: Master doesn't pay us enough. Frankly, I'm starting to get sick of working for him.  
Guard #2: We should escape. Go somewhere nice and warm.  
Guard #3: Than leave! I'll just have to do this on my own. You two are worthless. What Lan Di Sama needs are guards who won't lay out on the job.

:A young Japanese fellow passes that almost exactly resembled Ryo:

Guard #3: Him…  
Guard #1: He's mine!

:Guard #1 starts to run towards the man:  
:Guard #2 follows closely behind:

Guard #3: (remaining seated) Ha.

:The Japanese guy notices Guard #1 and #2's actions and begins to run in fear:  
:He was a fast runner:  
:Guard #1 and #2 start to lose their breath:  
:The Japanese guy starts to get further and further:

Guard #1: We're gonna lose him!

:Out of nowhere, Guard #3 pounces from the side and flips the man over his shoulder, cutting a blow to his stomach:

Guard #3: (clapping his hands together) No problem…  
Guard #1: (grasping for air) How did you do that?!  
Guard #3: Lan Di Sama needs a guard with talent.  
Guard #2: Grrrr…


	23. Lan Di's Mansion

Episode 23: S

Episode 23: S.I.3  
"That's the Spirit!"

/

"Yu Suzuki's House. 2008."  
"The Bedroom"

:There was nothing in Yu Suzuki's house but a few boxes and a couch:

Yu Suzuki: (answering his phone) Hello?  
Sega Employee #1: What did I tell you about answering your phone?  
Yu Suzuki: How dare you speak to me like that! Your fired!  
Sega Employee #1: Uhhmmm Yu? Your not my boss anymore. Sega crashed.  
Yu Suzuki: Sorry, old habits.  
Sega Employee #1: Your suppose to be out of there. I told you to pack your things. They've sold your house. The realtor is going to be there any minute.  
Yu Suzuki: Aren't you suppose to be working the drive through?  
Sega Employee #1: Oh shut up Yu. Must you keep reminding me how bad my life sucks? Your not much better off.  
Yu Suzuki: (looking over at his partner on the bed) I wouldn't say that.

:Yu hangs up:

Yu Suzuki: (to his partner) How about a quickie before we leave?

"Yu's Kitchen"

Relator: And this is the kitchen. Lovely isn't it?

:The guests nodd their heads:

Relator: And next are the bedrooms...

"Yu Suzuki's Bedroom."

Yu Suzuki: (breathing heavily) Oh you like that huh? Who's your daddy?

:The relator walks into the room with the two guests:  
:She spots Yu Suzuki fucking a stuffed Ryo Doll:  
:Yu punches the toy doll in it's stomach:

Ryo Doll: (responding to the punch) Father... Father... Father...  
Yu Suzuki: (thrusting aggressively) Yeah I'm your Father! Give it to me!  
Relator: Sir!

:Yu Suzuki rolls over and covers himself up with the bed sheets:

Yu Suzuki: (blushing) Hello.

:Sega Employee #1 runs into the room:

Sega Employee #1: (covering his eyes) Oh God Yu!

:Yu shrugs:  
:The boss of Microsoft walks in:

Boss of Microsoft: Hey Yu, are you still looking for a job?

:The boss of Microsoft catches a glimpse of the packed in, sexually abused Ryo Doll:

Boss of Microsoft: My God!  
Yu Suzuki: Guys, I can explain.

:Yu Suzuki's parents walk in:

Yu Suzuki's Mother: Hey sweetie, I brought you your favorite Chocolate Cake.  
Yu Suzuki's Father: Come on Yu! It's time to be a man!

:They get a glimpse of the sexually worn out Ryo Doll:

Yu Suzuki's Father: Oh no! What have I done?!

"Plane.1987."

:Nozomi's Grandmother starts to freak out:  
:She hated to fly:  
:She couldn't sit still:  
:Nozomi had to get up and walk across the cabin to calm her Grandmother down:

Nozomi's Grandmother: Oh good. Nozomi your here. I was beginning to worry.  
Nozomi: Can you sit still for another three hours?  
Nozomi's Grandmother: I'm scared. I'm really scared.  
Man Sitting Next to Grandmother: (trying to eat his meal) Hey if you don't shut this bitch up, I will.  
Nozomi's Grandmother: We're not going to make it to Canada. We're going to die. I know it. Nozomi! We're going to die!

:A security guy walks up to Nozomi's Grandmother:

Security Guy: Is there a problem here?  
Nozomi: No. My Grandmother just forgot to take her medication.  
Nozomi's Grandmother: Sir, can you please make the plane go faster. My heart can't take this.  
Security Guy: Calm down.

:Security Guy #2 walks up:

Security Guy #2: What's going on here?  
Nozomi's Grandmother: The plane is going to crash. I know it!  
Security Guy #1: That's it, aquire her.

:The two security guy's grab poor old Nozomi's Grandmother and take her to the back of the plane:

"Luggage Compartment"

:The two security guys open the back of the plane:  
:They push Nozomi's Grandmother out:  
:She falls towards the clouds, kicking and screaming:  
:Security Guy #1 throws a parachute out afterwards:  
:They close the door:

Security Guy #1: You think she might tell?  
Security Guy #2: As long as she doesn't know we're together.  
Security Guy #1: (giggling) Hehe.

:Security Guy #1 slaps the other's guys ass:

"China.1989."  
"Pigeon Park"

:Ryo practices sets of the Brawling Uppercut and Stab Armor technique:  
:A old man erratically runs up to Ryo:

Old Man: Iwao!  
Ryo-san: (almost cutting a blow to the man's stomach) Uh…  
Old Man: Remember me?! It's Asookie-san! Wow you look young. Staying in shape huh?  
Ryo-san: I'm not Iwao. I'm his son, Ryo-san.  
Asookie-san: There's no need to cover up Iwao. I know it's been twenty years since we've reconciled but you can lighten up for an old friend. Eh?  
Ryo-san: What do you know about my Father?  
Asookie-san: You really must be his son. Think fast.

:Asookie swings a punch at Ryo:  
:Ryo dodges and tries to restrain the man:

Ryo-san: What do you think your doing?!  
Asookie-san: Hahaha.

:Asookie swings himself behind Ryo, grabs Ryo's arms and holds them:  
:He sniffs the side of Ryo's neck:

Asookie-san: You smell delicious.

:Ryo uses all of his body strength to flip Asookie over him:  
:Asookie flies in the air and back on his feet:  
:He uses an interesting hand and foot technique on Ryo:  
:Ryo falls on his back:  
:He was stoned. Unable to move for a few seconds:

Ryo-san: (from the ground) What did you do to me?  
Asookie-san: (holding his hand out) Take my hand. I'll show you.

"Canada."  
"Nozomi's House."

:Nozomi's mother stays up late:  
:She sits in her lazy boy chair next to the fireplace, worried:  
:She wrapped herself in a warm quilt:  
:A car was heard pulling up to the house:  
:Nozomi opens the door and backs in while making out with her new badass boyfriend, Collin:

Nozomi's Mother: How dare-

:But before Nozomi's Mother could say more, Nozomi tossed her heavy college textbooks on her:

Nozomi's Mother: (tossing the textbooks back at Nozomi) And you call yourself a Canadian!  
Nozomi: Relax mom. I'm just trying to have some fun.  
Nozomi's Mother: Fun. Your definition of fun lately has turned into chaos. I had to pull you out of a rave Thursday night, I find a kilo of coke under your bed, and your boyfriend Collin here looks exactly like Ryo!  
Collin: (hugging up closer to Nozomi) I realized that I'll never get to Nozomi's heart unless I resemble as much of her first love as I can. Drugs help a lot too.  
Nozomi: So this way I don't have to see Ryo anymore.  
Nozomi's Mother: Thank God! I hope I never have to deal with that phase again.

:The phone rings:  
:Nozomi runs for the phone:

Nozomi: (desperately answering the phone) HELLO?!  
Nozomi's Dad: Honey, are you on the crack pipe again?

:Nozomi slams the phone on the hook:

Nozomi: Thought it was Ryo…  
Collin: But I'm right here baby.  
Nozomi: (smiling) Oh yes… hehe. I feel much better now.  
Collin: (dancing towards Nozomi) How about you wrap your arms around my brown jacket?  
Nozomi: Don't get too happy Collin. We're not having sex.  
Collin: Baby, I'm getting sensitive about this. How long do I have to wait?  
Nozomi: I didn't have sex with Ryo so I'm not having sex with you.  
Collin: (angrily) Yeah. I don't necessarily feel comfortable in these tight pants either.  
Nozomi: Sorry.  
Collin: (turning towards Nozomi's Mother) She's a fake! She hasn't been to her classes in weeks.  
Nozomi: Collin! Don't!  
Collin: She's been ditching and hanging out with me. She gets in my car and always wants to hang out at the goddamn park. Always the park with her.  
Nozomi's Mother: I have failed as a mother…  
Nozomi: But, that's where we always met up. I could talk to you about anything.  
Collin: Yeah well maybe I can never be your precious Ryo! You know what, I'm Collin. Fuck Ryo! I'm Collin now.

:Collin reveals his slurry lisp:

Collin: Happy now?

"China"  
"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:Ryo walks in and sees Gui Zhang on the phone:  
:Gui Zhang sat at a desk with a pen and a piece of paper:  
:On this paper was a list of names of ancient Chinese artifacts, where the artifacts were coming from, and how many there were:  
:Gui Zhang concentrated on this list and talked professionally to whoever was on the phone:

Ryo-san: Hey Gui Zhang.  
Gui Zhang: Not now Hazuki. (to the ? person on the phone) Ok, sorry, I just heard something about flowers and some vase…

:Ryo sits on the couch and takes out a small piece of paper that was folded up:  
:He unfolds the paper:  
:On the paper, there were writings….:

Ryo-san: (reading from the paper) The seven feelings of Revenge. Follow the first instinct….

:The rest of the paper was blank:  
:Ryo scratches his head:  
:He was confused:

Gui Zhang: (from the desk) You were saying?  
Ryo-san: (zoned out on the paper) ………….  
Gui Zhang: Get a grip Hazuki!  
Ryo-san: This man who knew my Father… he taught me a move and gave me this piece of paper. He said this paper is both the beginning and the end of my journey.  
Gui Zhang: Trade is going bad back home.  
Ryo-san: That's right. You help trade with Master Chen. Isn't he suppose to be turning the organization over to you someday?  
Gui Zhang: He's been acting very odd lately. The trade is the worst now than it's ever been!

"Warehouse #8"

:Trade was going great!:  
:Master Chen had cargo shipping in left and right:  
:He was even thinking about expanding the warehouse a bit more just to be able to fit all boxes:  
:No longer was the trade about artifacts and other Chinese things:  
:Master Chen broadened his horizon's:

Master Chen: (directing the men shipping in the cargo) I want the entertainment system over there… the Ferrari goes over there. (to himself) I always wanted that car.

:A van full of Mexican's pull into the warehouse:

Mexicans: (running late) We so sorry assay!

"Canada"  
"Supermarket near Nozomi's House"

:Nozomi was a new woman:  
:She completely forgot about Ryo and started to think about herself:  
:She got a tan, let her hair grow out, and had a t-shirt on that said "I Love Canada!":  
:She fills her basket full of fruit and walks up to the checkout line:  
:Out of nowhere, a man in a black hoodie with sunglasses punches her in the face:  
:She falls to the floor:  
:The man holds a gun up to the cashier:

Robber: فهرست خالی بشوید!!  
Cashier: I can't understand you.  
Robber: شلیک خواهدکرد ! I آن انجام می دهدی!!  
Nozomi: He's speaking Farsi. He said empty the register or he'll shoot.

:The cashier shoves all of her register money into a bag and hands it to the robber:  
:The robber runs off:  
:A mysteriously tall man with his hair slicked back helps Nozomi to her feet:

Nozomi: (bringing back old habits) Thanks. Can I have your number?  
Tall Man: How about a job. We could use a person good at translating.  
Nozomi: Really?! I've always wanted to be a translator. It hurts my feelings when I see those foreigners trying to make it but no one knows what on earth they're saying.  
Tall Man: Meet me on the corner of Carry and Balboa St. at 1700.  
Nozomi: I'll be there.

"China"  
"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

Gui Zhang: (on the phone) I've been a great son to you!  
Master Chen: It's over Gui Zhang. I've found a new partner. He's going to take over the trading once I'm no longer able to do it.  
Gui Zhang: He'll never be better than me!  
Master Chen: His name is Wang Hoe. He's only fifteen but he has talent.  
Gui Zhang: How could you do this?!  
Master Chen: You sold your soul the day you left for China. Good luck to you.

"Warehouse #8"  
"Master Chen's Office"

:Master Chen hangs up:  
:Wang Hoe opens the door:

Wang Hoe: All of the cargo is in. All we have left to do now is unload.  
Master Chen: That's my boy!

:Wang Hoe looks at his watch:

Wang Hoe: It's time for me to go home. Mom wants me home early tonight.  
Master Chen: Sleep over with me tonight.

:Master Chen shuts his office door:

Wang Hoe: But I'll get in trouble.  
Master Chen: Do you like Snickers?  
Wang Hoe: I suppose.

:Master Chen pulls out a Snickers Bar:

Master Chen: I have a lot of these. We can stay up all night, watch Westerns, and eat Snickers! How does that sound?  
Wang Hoe: Uhh…  
Master Chen: It's settled. (to himself) I can finally feel like a Father tonight. Wang Hoe respects me way more than Gui Zhang ever did. God, I love this little boy.

"China"  
"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

Ryo-san: The seven feelings of Revenge. I should know this!  
Gui Zhang: I hate my life.  
Ryo-san: Let me think back to 1986. What did I feel after Father died?  
Gui Zhang: Like he betrayed you! Like your just a fart in the wind and he could care less.  
Ryo-san: Be more optimistic Gui Zhang.  
Gui Zhang: Father hates me! My life is ruined now.

:Ryo got an idea:

Ryo-san: Gui Zhang, what are you feeling right now?  
Gui Zhang: I feel mad. I feel angry.  
Ryo-san: Mad… angry… this is a code. The paper says "Follow your first instinct". Mad… angry… the first letters: MA.  
Gui Zhang: Now your on to something! MA what?  
Ryo-san: I was mad. I was angry. Then I felt as if I was fine. I felt nothing… nothing… MAN… something.  
Gui Zhang: MAN? The secret clue is a man? Let's contemplate on this one Hazuki. We need to find a man. This could get interesting. No! Father's got me thinking dirty thoughts now.  
Ryo-san: There's seven of them. It won't just cut it at MAN. I felt sad afterwards, like I was ignoring his death. MANS.  
Gui Zhang: I'm telling you Hazuki it's something to do with a MAN. Now it's plural.  
Ryo-san: Mansion… Lan Di is in a Mansion somewhere.  
Gui Zhang: Wait, I think I know what Mansion it is.  
Ryo-san: Where?  
Gui Zhang: I got a part time job when you returned to Yokosuka, delivering Chinese food. I delivered to this mansion one night on Haungie St. These men answered the door in black suits. Then something awful happened….

:Gui Zhang turns his back towards Ryo:

Gui Zhang: They sexually abused me Hazuki.

:Gui Zhang starts to tear up:

Gui Zhang: It was so wrong.

:Gui Zhang turns back around:  
:Ryo had left the apartment:

Gui Zhang: (running after Ryo) Hazuki! Wait up!

"Canada"  
"Top Secret C.I.A Complex"

:Nozomi sat at her own private desk:  
:She figured she'd explore the items in front of her:  
:She picks up a bottle of lotion and looks at it from all angles:

Nozomi: Peculiar.

:She then picks up a stapler, expands it, and starts shooting staples out:

Nozomi: This sucks. This stuff is suppose to be C.I.A. material.  
C.I.A Man: (standing at her doorway) They are.

:The man walks in and grabs the bottle of lotion:

C.I.A Man: This bottle of lotion here decreases your age by ten years!  
Nozomi: Seriously?!

:The man squirts some on his palm and rubs it on Nozomi's arm:

C.I.A Man: How does that feel?  
Nozomi: Feels good. Rub some of my chest. I saw a wrinkle the other day.  
C.I.A Man: With pleasure.

:Nozomi takes off her shirt:  
:The man starts to rub some of the lotion on her chest:

Nozomi: Mmmmm….  
C.I.A Man: It's also used for many other things too. But, I don't think your woman enough to take off your pants though.  
Nozomi: Excuse me? I'm all the woman you'll ever need!

:Nozomi unzips her pants:  
:Two C.I.A agents rush a Arabian Man into the office with a ticking time bomb on his chest:

C.I.A Man #2: Quick! Tell us what he's saying or we're all dead!  
Nozomi: (getting lotion rubbed up and down her thighs) Are you sure this lotion works?

"China"  
"Haungie St."

:Gui Zhang and Ryo arrive in front of the Mansion:

Ryo-san: This is it Gui Zhang.  
Gui Zhang: As long as I die by your side Hazuki, that's an honor in itself.  
Ryo-san: Right.

:Ryo and Gui Zhang walk up to the door and stand on the sides like they were S.W.A.T:  
:Ryo nods his head for the "Go":  
:Gui Zhang kicks the door in:

"The ? Mansion"

:Gui Zhang runs into the kitchen and sees two little girls eating pasta:  
:He grabs one girl's hair and shoves her face into the pasta:

Gui Zhang: Where is your Master?!

:Ryo runs into the living room and sees a beer bellied Chinese guy on the sofa, eating a bowl of popcorn:  
:He puts the guy into an arm lock:

Ryo-san: (bending the guy's arm) Where is Lan Di?!  
Chinese Guy: My arm! MY ARM!  
Ryo-san: I'll break your arm!

:Gui Zhang sticks his head in:

Gui Zhang: Hazuki! Any luck?!  
Ryo-san: (to the guy) TELL ME!  
Gui Zhang: Nevermind. Your busy. I just tied up Lan Di's trainer agents and I'm heading for the second floor. This house is huge!

:Gui Zhang takes off:  
:Ryo knocks the guy out and runs out into the backyard:  
:Outside was a young woman with an apron on, cooking up a barbecue:

Ryo-san: (cautious) Shut that contraption off!  
Woman: (turning towards Ryo with a spatula in her hand) Get back!  
Ryo-san: Drop your weapon!

:Gui Zhang makes it to the second floor and kicks down the first door he sees:  
:Inside was a teenage boy playing a Tuba:  
:Gui Zhang holds the boys mouth up to the Tuba's mouthpiece of dumps a bottle of Drano down the other side:

Gui Zhang: Now, tell me where Lan Di is!

:Ryo runs back inside with nowhere to turn, and no answers:

Ryo-san: Wrong house…

:Gui Zhang runs downstairs:

Gui Zhang: Hazuki! Let's get the hell out of here!  
Ryo-san: Ok. Let's go.

:Ryo starts to sniff:

Ryo-san: What's that smell?  
Gui Zhang: Fire. I lit the second floor on fire. Brilliant idea huh? We'll smoke Lan Di out!  
Ryo-san: You jackass! This is the wrong house.  
Gui Zhang: Uh oh…  
Ryo-san:…..  
Gui Zhang: ……  
Ryo-san:….  
Gui Zhang: Well let's get the fuck out of here then before the cops come!

:Gui Zhang flees out of the backdoor and clears the back fence:  
:Ryo follows, feeling hopeless:


	24. Part 1:The Final Confrontation

Episode 24: S

Episode 24: S.I.3  
Part 1: "The Final Confrontation"

/

"Japan. 2008"  
"Yokosuka"  
"Slot House"

:Ryo pulls on a slot's lever:  
:He matches three of a kind:  
:The slot house's victory tune plays:

Ryo-san: (lifting his hands in the air) YES!

:Three men in black suits walk in:

Black Suited Man #1: Are you Ryo-san?  
Ryo-san: Yeah, and I'm rich!

:The black suited men look at each other:

Black Suited Man #2: Come with us.

:The men seize Ryo and escorts him out of the slot house:

Ryo-san: What's going on?  
Black Suited Man #3: T-130. It's confidential. Keep moving.

"Mysterious White Room"

:Ryo laid on his stomach in a white lab suit:  
:The suit looked like one of those outfits they give you when your in the hospital:  
:Ryo's orders were to remain still after he awoke from his anesthesia:  
:There was a woman standing next to Ryo:  
:She was preparing a shot:

Ryo-san: So you work for the government too?

:The woman stays quiet:  
:The door to the room slides upwards:  
:A group of men walk in: two Army general's, a man in a weird suit that entitled "Area 51", and President Barack Obama:  
:The men stood next to Ryo's bed and exchanged a clipboard, signing off random things:

Army General #1: How long has he been stable?  
Woman with Shot: He just woke up.  
Man from Area 51: This could be a new breakthrough to society.  
President Obama: Or a new threat. (looks over at the woman with shot) Start the process on the specimen.

:The woman with the shot nods:  
:She flicks the tip of the shot to release air bubbles:  
:She grabs a delicious looking brownie from her pocket and holds it up to Ryo's mouth:

Woman with Shot: Would you like to eat something before we start?  
Ryo-san: I don't even know what we're about to start. Can someone give me answers here?  
President Obama: Eat the damn brownie for God's sake!  
Ryo-san: What's in it?

:The men take notes:

Woman with Shot: We've had special forces spying on you the past few weeks. You haven't eaten anything. We find it….

:The woman with shot looks over at the men:  
:Their faces were pale:

Woman with Shot: …. odd….  
Ryo-san: Ok? So I don't like to eat. Big deal. Can I go now? Ine-san is going to kill me if I'm late this time.  
Army General #2: Amazing! A world without hunger. This guy is legend! We need to run as many tests as we can. I-If that's ok with you, Mr. President.  
President Obama: Could we possibly turn all black people white?  
Army General #2: U-Uh Mr. President, what about the specimen?  
President Obama: I love the Beatles!

:The woman with shot injects Ryo through his arm:

Ryo-san: Ouch! Give me some notice before doing that!  
President Obama: We have to check his ass too.

:Everyone looks over at Obama:

President Obama: For uhhh… security reasons. (looking down) I crumble under this type of pressure. (looking back up) Do what you must!  
Ryo-san: Alright! Alright! Stop! EVERYONE STOP! You want me to eat the damn brownie I will!

:The woman with shot hands the brownie to Ryo:

President Obama: Stop! We weren't just handed food as slaves, we had to work for it. Sometimes, we got no food at all. This is bullshit!  
Man from Area 51: But sir, this is necessary for our examination.  
President Obama: I'm the goddamn black President, I make the orders here! You, uhhh… Ryo…. get up and crawl for your food.  
Ryo-san: ??  
President Obama: (laughing to himself) Can we bring in a whip? Hehe. Iraq is in so much trouble. Reminds me of the prank I pulled on McCain the day I won the election…

"John McCain's House."

:John McCain blows his nose in a pair of tissues:

John McCain's Wife: (lying over on the bed, ready to fuck) Are you still acting like a bitch?  
John McCain: All of those years trapped in the Vietnamese prison camp…. and I get nothing. NOTHING!  
John McCain's Wife: You have me.  
John McCain: You were one of the Vietnamese guards!  
John McCain's Wife: I told you, I left that life.

:The phones rings:  
:John McCain answers:

John McCain: Hello?  
Ex Member from the Black Panthers: Black man rule America! Hide in your cave bitch!

:The black panther hangs up:  
:The phone rings again:

John McCain: Hello?  
? Man: (creepy voice) I'm under your bed.  
John McCain: If this is another member from the Black Panther's calling to laugh at me, I got news for you sucker…  
President Obama: Hahaha! Just kidding!  
John McCain: What do you want?  
President Obama: Chill out McCain. I'm bored.  
John McCain: How's being the new American leader going?  
President Obama: Great. Great. I was calling to invite you over for some tea and crackers. You can bring the wife too. Are you interested? You can sit with me and the world leaders. Hahahaha… this one guy right, he-  
John McCain: (interrupting) No Barack. I have an interview with Subway tonight.  
President Obama: Really? I heard they pay good.  
John McCain: Oh, and umm, fuck off.

:John McCain hangs up:

"China.1989."  
"Hong Kong"  
"Lan Di's Mansion"  
"Dining Room"

:Lan Di and all of his workers sat at a long table, enjoying a marvelous feast:  
:Lan Di said it was a special occasion:  
:Lan Di stands up halfway through the meal and taps on his glass, full of his fine Chinese wine, with his fork:  
:His glass shatters:

Lan Di: I need to lay off the steroids. (clears his throat) Gentlemen! I have an announcement!

:Everyone pays full attention to Lan Di:

Lan Di: Two of my trusty guards and I will visit Bailu Village in a few days. I have business there.  
Guard #1: Again?  
Lan Di: I like to take in the sites.  
Guard #2: I can reason with that. I'm up for a little adventure. Our body count hasn't been impressive lately.  
Lan Di: That's because we're on a breaking period. I am to find out which one of my three guards will attend full service to me. But you have to EARN it.

:Lan Di's three guards start to argue over past duties they've served for Lan Di:

Guard #2: I jumped in front of a bullet for him!  
Lan Di: You did?  
Guard #1: Every time he wants a drink, I quench his thirst!  
Lan Di: I always get my own drinks.  
Guard #3: Ha. You both are fucked. He already told me I was his favorite.  
Lan Di: Oh boy. This is going to be harder than I thought. (raises his voice over the screams of the guards) Gentlemen! I have an update to my announcement! I've realized over the past few minutes that it would be too hard to just pick one guard soooo….

:The pause was suspenseful:  
:The guards almost wanted to jump out of their seats and do whatever Lan Di wanted them to:

Lan Di: …… I don't know. I'm drunk.

:Lan Di passes out in his bowl of soup:

Guard #2: So if I help him around while he's intoxicated, does that gain me pointers?

(Ryo's Journal)

After I returned to China, Gui Zhang was a good enough friend to attend to me.

We've gotten closer.

Thought I got some valuable information from a street hobo about Lan Di's whereabouts.

Gui Zhang and I moved on the information and found a Mansion to where we thought Lan Di might of lived.

Turned out we just made some Family's day a living nightmare.

Must find out which Mansion is Lan Di's!

And what of the two mirrors?

And what is Shenhua up to?

And I really ask TOO MANY questions.

I have a headache.

END OF ENTRY #9.

"Ryo's Stakeout Apartment"

:Someone knocks at the door:  
:Ryo answers:  
:A man stood outside that looked like he had no earthly business in Hong Kong:

? Man: Are you Ryo Hazuki?  
Ryo-san: Yes.  
? Man: I have a message from Shenhua. She says to come quick. She's in trouble.  
Ryo-san: Ok. Tell her I'm on the way.  
? Man: (clearing his throat) Uhhmmm…

:The ? Man signals for Ryo to move in closer:  
:Ryo does:

? Man: (quietly) I walked here. This message is delayed by a month.  
Ryo-san: ...  
? Man: You wouldn't happen to have any money to get me back to Bailu Village faster, would you?

:Ryo gives the man 100:

? Man: What the hell is this gonna do?  
Ryo-san: It's all I have really.  
? Man: Psh. Cheap ass.

:The ? man walks off:

Ryo-san: Hmmm… (raising his voice) Gui Zhang! We're going to Guilin!

"China"  
"Guilin"  
"Shenhua's House"

Shenhua: I'm so glad you could make it Ryo.  
Ryo-san: Me too. What's the emergency?  
Shenhua: I wanted to see you. The other reason is Father…  
Ryo-san: What's up?

:Shenhua opens her Father's door:  
:Shenhua's Father was in bed, pale, and moaning like a little school girl:

Shenhua: Father's sick. I believe he might of took some bad Mushroom's that he found in the woods.  
Shenhua's Father: Nonsense Shenhua!  
Shenhua: He keeps denying it. Please, Ryo, I need you right now.  
Gui Zhang: This is far out of my league. I'm heading to Bailu Village. Want anything Hazuki?  
Ryo-san: I'm fine.

:Gui Zhang walks off:

Shenhua: (grabbing Ryo's hand) Follow me. I have a gift for you.

"Bailu Village"

:Gui Zhang picks out a couple Frog Heads from the food stand:

Gui Zhang: How much?  
Lady at Food Stand: FOUR HUNDRED DOLLAR!

:Gui Zhang jumps back:

Gui Zhang: Jesus lady calm down.

:Gui Zhang pays:  
:He decides to buy another:

Lady at Food Stand: TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR!  
Gui Zhang: Lady, seriously…

:A sound of a chopper was heard:  
:Gui Zhang drops his Frog Heads:  
:The chopper sound augmented:  
:The dirt in the village whisked around:  
:Villagers walked out of their huts to attend to the sound:  
:The chopper hurls around over the village and lands in an open field on the outskirts:  
:The chopper door opens:  
:Gui Zhang gulps:

"Shenhua's House"  
"Shenhua's Room"

Shenhua: This is a song I made especially for you Ryo.

:Ryo felt his heart warm:

Shenhua: The twist is, I made it in case you were killed by Lan Di.  
Ryo-san: Please, Shenhua, don't say that name.

:Shenhua strings her homemade, wooden crafted guitar:

Shenhua: (singing) I long long time ago, I can still remember, when there was a guy named Ryo Hazuki.  
And I knew if I had my chance, and I could take just one more glance,  
I'd tell Ryo that everyone was happy that he was….. dead.

God gave him a break, he sure did work hard,  
He walked many miles, he sure did go far,

He searched for a man, he searched brave and tall,  
That nasty blow he took from Lan Di really made him fall,

He was a great inspiration, now let us all sob to his abomination.

The day…. Ryo Hazuki…. died.

:The song ends:

Shenhua: I was going to put it in your coffin as sort of a final goodbye gesture.  
Ryo-san: It was…. sweet.  
Shenhua: Don't ever think I never think about you!

:Shenhua hugs Ryo:

Shenhua: I'm so glad your back!  
Ryo-san: Me too. Me too.

"Bailu Village"

:Lan Di walks off the chopper followed by his three henchmen:  
:All of the villagers gathered around for the spectacle:  
:Gui Zhang stands in the back, trying to blend in:  
:Lan Di calls out a specific villager:  
:The villager walks into the open field, scarcely:

Villager: Do what you must.  
Lan Di: So you don't have my money?  
Villager: No. I don't.  
Lan Di: (laughing) You take me for a fool?

:Lan Di strikes the villagers throat:  
:The villager falls ultimately reaching his death:  
:Lan Di's three guards stand in the back, chuckling cockily:  
:Lan Di calls out another villager:  
:He and the villager exchange words which were too far for Gui Zhang to overhear:  
:Lan Di hands the villager a piece of paper, gets back in his chopper, and takes off:

Gui Zhang: Hazuki….

:Gui Zhang makes his way back to Shenhua's House quickly:

"Shenhua's House"

Ryo-san: Shenhua… please stop…

Shennua: (singing another song) (on a table, going wild) Ryo! Ryo! You taste so good,  
I'd order you at an expensive restaurant if I could…..!

:Gui Zhang busts in:

Gui Zhang: H-H-Hazuki…. I-I-….

:Gui Zhang stops to catch his breath:

Ryo-san: What's with you Gui Zhang?  
Gui Zhang? I-I-I f-found….  
Ryo-san: Breath. Breath.  
Gui Zhang: Oh fuck it! Lan Di was just at the village!  
Ryo-san: No way! Why didn't you come get me?!  
Gui Zhang: Shut the fuck up Hazuki.  
Ryo-san: Did you get any leads?!  
Gui Zhang: He handed a villager a piece of paper. I say we torture the motherfucker until he tells us.  
Ryo-san: Right! Shenhua, stay here. This could get bloody.

"Bailu Village"  
"Random Hut"

:Ryo and Gui Zhang had the mysterious villager tied to a chair:  
:They've been beating him for hours:  
:The villager said nothing the whole time:

Gui Zhang: My knuckles hurt.  
Ryo-san: Your not kidding.

:Finally, the villager spoke his first words:

Villager: 私のろばに接吻しなさい! 私は決して言わない!  
Gui Zhang: What did he say?  
Ryo-san: I don't know.

:A female villager walks in:

Female Villager: It's Japanese.

:Ryo and Gui Zhang look at each other strangely:

Gui Zhang: Hazuki, I thought we spoke Japanese.  
Ryo-san: We do.  
Female Villager: Actually, you guys speak English.  
Ryo-san: Gui Zhang, we don't even speak our own language.  
Gui Zhang: Well this is definitely… new information.  
Female Villager: I can translate for you. He just said "Kiss my ass! I will never tell!"  
Gui Zhang: I've had enough!

:Gui Zhang searches the man and pulls out the piece of paper from Lan Di:

Gui Zhang: Ah ha!  
Ryo-san: It looks like all of that information is written in Japanese.  
Gui Zhang: Great!  
Female Villager: I can translate Japanese written language to.  
Ryo-san: Would you? We'd appreciate it.  
Gui Zhang: Yeah. Thanks and ummm… yeah, we're really good at English. Don't you think Hazuki?  
Ryo-san: Oh yeah. Top notch.


	25. Part 2:The Final Confrontation

Episode 25: S

Episode 25: S.I.3  
Part 2: "The Final Confrontation"

/

"Japan"  
"Yokosuka"  
"Hazuki Residence.1968"

Iwao: Take a deep breath. You can make it through these consaptions.

:Ryo's mother, Kiyoko, was pregnant by nine months:  
:She had her legs spread wide open, hoping to be cared to by her good, loving husband, Iwao:

Kiyoko: Their called Contraptions.  
Iwao: I'm not the one with the baby here.  
Kiyoko: But you can start being a good Father!  
Iwao: Once I see a healthy baby pop out of you, that's when I'll start being a Father. It's hard enough being a husband.

:Kiyoko moans:

Kiyoko: Uhhhhmmm!! (taking fast, short breaths) Honey… the baby's coming. Quick, put your hand on my sacred area!  
Iwao: Ew. No.  
Kiyoko: Do it!  
Iwao: What in the hell? I need a drink.

:Iwao picks up the phone:  
:The bartender at MJQ Jazz Bar answers:

Iwao: (on the phone) What drinks are on sale tonight?  
Bartender: Hypnotic and Hennessey mixed. Stirred and served in a small glass.  
Iwao: I'll be there.

"MJQ Jazz Bar"

:Iwao has a seat at the bar:  
:Iwao eases himself with a few drinks:

Bartender Yoshifumi: How's the bride?  
Iwao: Pregnant.  
Yoshifumi: Excited?  
Iwao: Let me have a few more drinks and I'll get back to you.  
Yoshifumi: That bad, huh?  
Iwao: It's been ten years since I've had a drink.  
Yoshifumi: College?  
Iwao: Army. Never went to College.

:A slim girl sits down next to Iwao:  
:She had brown hair in a pony tail, black shirt, a skirt down to her knees, and glasses:  
:She had all of the right signs saying she wasn't looking for a date tonight:  
:Iwao gained some confidence from the alcoholic substances:  
:He takes off his wedding ring and slips it in his pocket:

Iwao: How's it going beautiful?  
Bar Girl: It's going.  
Iwao: I have five belts, all equivalent to a good beating.  
Bar Girl: Pardon me?  
Iwao: Oh, hah , I meant Martial Arts Belts.  
Bar Girl: Ohhhhh. Nice. I could use you around the house.

:Iwao smiles:

Iwao: Let me buy you a drink.

"Hotel down the Street"  
"Room"

:Iwao gets pinned up against the wall by the bar girl:

Iwao: Your strong!

:The bar girl starts making out with him:  
:Iwao tries to keep up with the girl, but her inner freak was more powerful than his:  
:The bar girl goes for his zipper:

Iwao: (pushing the girl back) Stop. Stop.  
Bar Girl: What's wrong?  
Iwao: Hate to break it to you, but….but I'm married. I can't do this.  
Bar Girl: Bummer. I understand.

:Iwao looks at his watch:

Iwao: (getting sentimental) I have a kid to deliver. He needs to be more stronger and braver then I ever was. He can't make the same mistakes I did, but he can make new ones. I'm leaving now…

(Ryo's Notebook)

Found a letter from a Villager in Bailu Village.

The letter has a map to the Chiyoumen's Mansion.

Must find the mansion!

END OF ENTRY #10

"China.1989."  
"Shenhua's House"

Shenhua: Your going after Lan Di now?  
Ryo-san: Yes.

:Shenhua takes out her journal and writes an entry:

Ryo-san: You have a journal too?  
Shenhua: Yes. I figured I could keep track of thing's easier if I had one.  
Ryo-san: That's great Shenhua!  
Shenhua: I was in Bailu Village the other day and a man so happened to see me as I was writing an entry. He so happened to be a Publicist. He took a look at my previous entry's and said I had a very fascinating life and that he'd be willing to help me make it into a book. I could sell millions.  
Ryo-san: (jealous) That's cool.  
Shenhua: You think I have what it takes?  
Ryo-san: I don't think you could make an interesting book of your walks through the woods.  
Shenhua: There's a lot I haven't told you Ryo.

:Gui Zhang walks in:

Gui Zhang: Ready?

:Ryo nods:  
:Shenhua pulls out a long box from underneath her bed:  
:She hands the box to Ryo:

Shenhua: Don't open it yet. When the time is right, you'll know what to do.

:Ryo and Gui Zhang walk off:  
:Shenhua takes a few scrap pieces of paper and begins to write her book:  
:The book was titled "A life in Guilin. By: Shenhua Ling":

"Heaven"  
"God's Room"

:Iwao makes God's bed:  
:God walks in:

God: God your slow!  
Iwao: Listen God, my son is about to go after Lan Di. Can you spare me a few hours?  
God: You should of thought of that before I caught you spraying graffiti on the golden road.  
Iwao: Jesus made me!  
God: Yeah yeah. I'm going to watch some tv. Make my bed good then start dusting my furniture. I have a hard job, you know?

:God shuts the door and walks into his entertainment room:  
:Angels were inside resting on sofa's and lazy boys with a bowl of popcorn, cheering to Ryo's adventure on Earth Tv On Demand:  
:God slips on his hat that said "Rock Out With Your Cock Out!":

God: (cheering and joining the angels) Ok, so who's for Lan Di and who's for Ryo?!  
Angels: It's all up to you God.  
God: What did I say? I'm letting nature take it's course with this one. I can't ever enjoy anything on Earth Tv without deciding who's going to die. Let's make this entertaining for once!

"China"  
"Hong Kong"  
"Outside of Lan Di's Mansion"

Gui Zhang: Hazuki…  
Ryo-san: (not taking his eye's off the mansion) Yeah?  
Gui Zhang: Whatever happens, it was an honor being your partner.  
Ryo-san: Likewise.

"Lan Di's Mansion"  
"Lan Di's Office"

Niao-san: Thank you for taking care of little Chin while I go to work.

:Niao had motherly clothes:  
:Her hair was cut short:  
:She carried a baby bag strapped over her shoulder:  
:She was more down to earth now:

Lan Di: Don't mention it. Would you ever consider joining the Chiyoumen again?  
Niao-san: I've thought about it but every time I look into my baby boy's eyes, something inside my heart melts. Sorry Lan Di, but I gave up my swords a long time ago.

:Niao sets up Chin's Big Boy seat next to Lan Di's desk:  
:Chin had just turned two:

Niao-san: Listen, I'm sorry for leaving the Chiyoumen. I'm sure the organization is doing much better now that I'm gone.  
Lan Di: (turning up the music in his headphones) I'm sorry. What did you say?  
Niao-san: Never mind. I'll be back in a few hours.

:She walks out, slamming the door behind her:  
:Lan Di and Chin sit quietly:

Lan Di: You want to see what a man with power can do?  
Chin: Yes.

:Lan Di pushes the red button on his intercom:

Lan Di: (into the intercom) Get your lazy asses in here!

:Not even a minute later, Lan Di's three guards rush into the room:

Lan Di: Shame. Shame. You were quicker last time.  
Guards: We're so sorry Lan Di Sama.  
Lan Di: Right. Uhhmm… I came into my office this afternoon and there was no lunch on my desk.  
Guard #1: I thought the rule was we make the lunch and you pick it up?  
Lan Di: The NEW rule is to have it on my desk every afternoon PRONTO!  
Guard #2: Yes sir!

:The guards rush for the food:

Lan Di: (winking at Chin) Like that. Huh?

"Kitchen"

:The three guards run in:

Guard #3: Move dumbfuck!

:Guard #3 pushes the Chef out the way:

Guard #2: Oh dear God, his food has gotten cold.  
Guard #3: We have to make another meal!

:The guards start taking out random food materials like tomatoes, onions, roast beef, and chicken:  
:Guard #1 sets the stove heat to high and takes out a large pot:  
:Guard #2 fills the pot with water and sets it on the stove:

Guard #1: What are we going to make Master?  
Guard #3: It's too late to think. Start dumping in random things!

:The guards throw in all of the ingredients at the same time:

Guard #2: What if Lan Di Sama gets sick?  
Guard #3: Good. No more orders if he dies, right?  
Guard #1: Sounds like a plan! We'll throw in some onion chunks.

:Lan Di walks in with a list in his hands:

Lan Di: What in the Devil!

:The guards turn around and gulp:

Guard #2: M-Master. So good to see you.  
Lan Di: (holding up the list in his hands) Our kill count isn't that impressive, our shipments aren't coming in the way I'd like them to, and the top leaders of the Chiyoumen are quitting on me. Seems like we have a problem.  
Guard #1: Honestly Master, I believe the Chiyoumen is falling. The end to our organization is abroad.  
Lan Di: There's only one solution…

:Lan Di takes out an Ak-47:

Lan Di: We start massacring our own men. Guns for each one of you!  
Guard #3: Have you lost your mind?  
Lan Di: (clicking in his rifle ammo) I'll take the bedrooms. We'll start with the maids then work our way up to the lower class Chiyoumen members.

"Lan Di's Office"

:Ryo and Gui Zhang walk in with their fists held high:

Ryo-san: Gui Zhang, see anything?  
Gui Zhang: Nothing. All we've seen so far are a bunch of easily disposable handymen. Where's the big boss at?!

:Lan Di was heard down the hallway, heading for his office, humming the Shenmue theme song:  
:Ryo and Gui Zhang wait on both sides of the door:  
:Lan Di walks in, shuts his door, and starts getting undressed in the middle of his office:  
:He cuts a fart and smiles:  
:Ryo and Gui Zhang wrinkle their noses:  
:Lan Di starts practicing different forms of the Tiger Swallow Style in his Haynes underpants:

Ryo-san: Lan Di!

:Lan Di turns around and covers his "area":

Lan Di: (blushing) Oh dear.

:Lan Di quickly puts on his robe:  
:Ryo holds his fists up and walks towards him:

Ryo-san: Remember me?  
Lan Di: I never got your name.  
Ryo-san: Hazuki.  
Lan Di: What did you do to Master Baihu?! All he says is that name. He's had three divorces because he screams "Hazuki!" during sex. How could you be so heartless?!  
Ryo-san: No time for talk. Now you die. Any last words?  
Lan Di: I have a few. How long do we have?  
Ryo-san: Jesus Lan Di, go ahead.  
Lan Di: First, I'd like to thank the Academy. It's been fun. I wouldn't of been able to of done it without my guards, and my Dad Chingy, my grandma wingy, and my son…  
Ryo-san: ……  
Lan Di: …. That I wish I had.  
Ryo-san: That it?  
Lan Di: Don't you have any last words?  
Ryo-san: No! Because I'm going to win!  
Lan Di: How greedy are you? At least you can tell them to me. Sort of a goodbye kind of thing.  
Ryo-san: Ok. I really enjoyed hunting you down so I could kill you. Happy?  
Gui Zhang: Kill his ass already Hazuki!

:Ryo runs in for a punch:

"Outside of Lan Di Mansion"

:A silver car pulls up to the mansion:  
:Lan Di's three guards look out the window:

Guard #3: Oh no. The Chiyoumen leader is here…

"Lan Di's Mansion"  
"Lan Di's Office"

Gui Zhang: Hazuki! No!

:Ryo crawls on the floor:  
:Blood drips from his nose:  
:Both of his eye's were black and his left wrist was sprained:

Lan Di: Your pitiful.  
Ryo-san: T-T-Too powerful.

:Lan Di stands overtop of Ryo:  
:It looked like he was going to perform the final blow:

Lan Di: And now… Hazuki….

:Ryo looks up at Lan Di, enjoying his final grasps of air:

Lan Di: …. I am going to take a shit on your face.

"Downstairs"

:The doorbell rings:  
:The guards answer:  
:Tentei, the Chiyoumen's leader, stands outside:

Tentei: Where is Lan Di?  
Guard #1: Have any of you heard that name?

:Guard #1 looks over at #2 and #3:

Guard #2: Nope.  
Guard #3: Sure haven't.  
Guard #1: (looking back at Tentei) Sorry. You must be lost.  
Tentei: I smell something fishy.  
Guard #1: Grandpa is really sick. We're here taking care of him.  
Tentei: I could of sworn this was the right mansion.  
Guard #2: Hey it happens man. Nothing to feel bad about.

:Tentei takes out the yellow book and starts to read:

Tentei: Hmmm…  
Guard #1: Well, good luck.  
Tentei: Wait. I'm still coming in.

:Tentei invites himself in:  
:Everyone in the mansion was acting normal, occasionally glancing over at Tentei then immediately going back to what they were doing:

Tentei: Hmmm…  
Guard #3: I should go check on grandpa.  
Guard #2: Good idea.

:Guard #3 walks into the other room:  
:He spots a few members of the Chiyoumen wheeling around a whiteboard with a big operation on it:  
:Guard #3 quickly directs them into another room:

"Lan Di's Office"

:Gui Zhang was on the floor next to Ryo, incapacitated:  
:Guard #3 runs in:

Guard #3: Master, Tentei is here! He's very angry. He must be mad at the how bad we've been doing lately. We have to get out of here!  
Lan Di: Hmmm… this isn't good. Did you use the grandpa excuse?  
Guard #3: It's all covered.  
Lan Di: Perfect.

:Lan Di looks down at Ryo and Gui Zhang:

Lan Di: You two. Mind helping a little? If this man finds us, he'll kill us all. Even if you two aren't members. I need your help.  
Ryo-san: What makes you think I'll help you? You killed my Father!  
Lan Di: I'm sorry. I had too. Your Father killed my Father.  
Ryo-san: That's no excuse.  
Lan Di: Than what's your excuse?  
Ryo-san: ……….  
Gui Zhang: He does have a point.  
Ryo-san: Shut up Gui Zhang!  
Lan Di: Hurry! I have a secret door behind my desk. We don't have long.

:Lan Di, Gui Zhang, and Ryo escape through the hidden door:  
:Guards #1 and #2 run into the room:

Guard #1: What are we going to do?! We can't hold Tentei off for long!  
Guard #3: I'll tell you what to do gentlemen, have you ever been to the Bahamas?  
Guard #1 and #2: No.

:Guard #3 holds up three cruise tickets:

Guard #3: Let's get out of here. Leave this life. We've been slaves far too long.  
Guard #2: Let's do it!

:The three of them start to pack their things:

"Underneath the Mansion"  
"Secret Underground Parking Lot"

:Lan Di gets into the Black Car:

Ryo-san: This thing is a piece of shit. When I first saw it, it was very shiny and presentable. I even shopped around for it in some catalogs for prom.  
Lan Di: Many crazy nights. Plus, the mileage far exceeds it's limit. I'm long overdue for an inspection.  
Gui Zhang: Hmmm…  
Lan Di: Get in!

:Ryo gets into the passenger seat and Gui Zhang gets into the backseat:  
:The song "Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun" plays in Lan Di's cd player:

Lan Di: Umm… hehe… good song.

:Ryo opens Lan Di's glove box and numerous cd's fall out on the floor:  
:Cd's from singers such as: Madonna, Rick Springfield, and Cyndi Lauper. All various hit singers from the 80's:

Lan Di: You HAVE to like Madonna! Did you hear her last release? It was a powerful piece of music.  
Ryo-san: Can we go now?  
Lan Di: Who's driving?  
Ryo-san: I thought you were.  
Lan Di: Me? Of course not. I never drive. I don't even know how to.  
Ryo-san: I'll drive then.

:Lan Di and Ryo switch places:

"Lan Di's Office"

:Tentei walks in:  
:He was furious:  
:He tasted himself a piece of grandma's home cooked Lan Di pie:  
:Guard #1 sat at Lan Di's desk:  
:His feet were prompt up on the desk:  
:He had a blunt in his mouth and a shotgun pointed at Tentei:

Guard #1: Why hello.  
Tentei: What's going on?! Where's Lan Di?!  
Guard #1: He aint here anymore.  
Tentei: What do you want?  
Guard #1: Good question. That's hard to say, really. I've been thinking a lot lately. We all have.

:Guard #2 walks from the side with a handgun pointed at Tentei:  
:Guard #3 walks from the side doing the same:

Guard #1: What's the point in this business. You tough men walking around thinking you can knock off a limb or two here and there? Catch my drift?

:Guard #1 stands up and walks over to Tentei:

Guard #1: You read the bible Tentei?  
Tentei: Which God?  
Guard #1: The Jesus one.  
Tentei: (embarrassed) Sometimes.  
Guard #1: Ezekiel 26:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.

:Guard #1, 2, and 3 fire their weapons at Tentei:  
:Tentei flies backwards, dead:

Guard #2: That was awesome!  
Guard #1: (blowing the smoke from his shotgun) Yes… it was.  
Guard #3: Something tells me we'll be seeing that in a future movie….

"Countryside of China"

:Ryo drives down a road in the middle of nowhere:  
:There were vast fields all around him:

Lan Di: You take this road all the way to the end then make a right turn.  
Ryo-san: Where are you taking us?  
Gui Zhang: Hazuki can you please pull over? I don't want to use the public bathrooms. Do you know what happens in them?  
Lan Di: Your taking me home.  
Ryo-san: Home? Like Mother and Father home?  
Lan Di: Mother and Stepfather.  
Ryo-san: Oh right.

"Ranch in middle of Field"  
"Lan Di's Home"

:Ryo drives forever down a mile long driveway:  
:He reaches the ranch home and parks the car:

Lan Di: I didn't want my henchman to see me do this.  
Ryo-san: Why are you getting so dramatic over this?  
Lan Di: I haven't seen my Mother in over twenty years. I got in a huge argument with my Stepfather, broke his leg, and ran off.

:A group of pigs walk by the front of the car:

Lan Di: (pointing at a specific pig) I had my favorite pig, Oinky. Stepfather would wake up bright and early. I'd hear him clipping on his trousers. He'd eat a quick breakfast, then run out to the mill before the sun floated up. I woke up to the sound of Oinky, my favorite pig. Oinky and I had adventures together. We ate together, he showered together, and we slept together. We had a bond. So beautiful. Anyways, I could go on forever about Oinky. He kind of made me who I am today…  
Ryo-san: A pig?  
Lan Di: No. An ass sniffer…  
Gui Zhang: Like forreal forreal?  
Lan Di: I've sniffed people's asses all of my life. How do you think I got to my Chiyoumen position?  
Gui Zhang: You sniffed an ass?  
Lan Di: Uhmm anyways, back to my story. One day on the lonely ranch felt so different. I woke up and Stepfather had awoken a little early. He was already outside, chopping wood and fetching water. I didn't hear Oinky that morning.  
Gui Zhang: Hazuki, give me some tissues.  
Ryo-san: What?  
Gui Zhang: Give me some goddamn tissues quick!  
Lan Di: I walked alongside our long brittle black fence all the way to the Butcher's Shed. I found Oinky in there… gutted. It was the end to a great friendship. I cried forever, under the beating sun. And since then, I never forgave Stepfather…

:Gui Zhang was balling his eye's out in a stack of tissues:

Gui Zhang: Why did it have to be OINKY!!

:Lan Di's mother walks out of the house:  
:Lan Di gets out of the car, bending down to say his last words to Ryo:

Ryo-san: Guess we're even. You made this whole thing so damn sad I'd hate to kill you.  
Lan Di: Bitch please. You know I'd still kick your ass.  
Ryo-san: Take care.  
Lan Di: Thank you. Now I might actually be able to milk a cow with Stepfather. I can feel those tight leather trousers run up my ass crack once more.

:Lan Di takes a big sniff out the country sides fresh air:

Lan Di: What a good feeling.

:Lan Di shuts the door and walks towards the house:

Lan Di's Mother: Ronald! Ronald come quick! James is back!

"Somewhere in the Western Atlantic Ocean"  
"Cruise Ship"

:The three guards cheer their alcoholic drinks:  
:They were in their swim suits only:  
:They watched as the girls in bikinis dove into the pool:

Guard #1: Who still wants to guard Lan Di?  
Guard #2: Certainly not me!

:The three guards start to laugh:

Guard #3: You know guys, we live the life now.  
Guard #1: Damn right!

:Guard #1 gets up:

Guard #1: Master, I'm going to use the bathroom now.  
Guard #3: Why the hell you tellin' us?!  
Guard #1: That's the joke! Where's Lan Di?! Ha!

:The guards start laughing:

Guard #1: I'm going to take the biggest piss of my life! To freedom gentlemen!

:The guards cheer their drinks once more:

"China"  
"Ranch"  
"Lan Di's Home"

:Ryo and Gui Zhang stand on a hill, overlooking the vast fields surrounding Lan Di's Home:

Gui Zhang: Thing's always turn out for the best.  
Ryo-san: I'm returning to Yokosuka. I forgot about life completely the past few years. I believe life will be different, but in a good way.  
Gui Zhang: I think I'll start to love Father….for the short period of time he has left. You two sure know how to make someone feel bad about their Father.  
Ryo-san: Master Chen doesn't have much time left. You should start to grieving process right now.

"Japan.2008."  
"On the Side of a Highway.2008."

Yu Suzuki: And that's it!

:Yu Suzuki claps:

Yu Suzuki: Someone had to clap! Hahaha! ShenmueIrony is over. It's done. A perfect end to a great series! I almost wet my pants half the time! Hahaha! What was so ironic about ShenmueIrony. Nothing really! And it's called "ShenmueIRONY". That's all the irony you need!  
I'm Yu Suzuki ladies and gentlemen, and throughout this long series of jokes and all out humor, we've come to learn one thing, I can at least do one thing right… get joked on! Hahaha. Now get closer. Give ol' Suzuki a hug.

:A truck runs over Yu, crushing him underneath:

Trucker: (inside the truck) Holy shit, did we just hit that guy back there?!  
Teenage Shenmue Fan: (in the passenger seat) No. He's fine. Keep driving

/

And that's it. ShenmueIrony has ended after four years of 100 Episodes:

ShenmueIrony: February 2004-April 2005 (50 Episodes)

ShenmueIrony 2: December 2005- March 2006 and May 2007-August 2007 (25 Episodes)

ShenmueIrony 3: May 2008-August 2008 (25 Episodes)

A big thanks to all who read, commented, and enjoyed these Episodes.

Farewell!

Realillusion

"Japan"  
"Yokosuka"  
"Hazuki Residence"

Fuku-san: How's everything going for you Ryo-san?  
Ryo-san: (unpacking his thing's) Couldn't be better.  
Fuku-san: That's great to hear but ummm…  
Ryo-san: What Fuku-san?  
Fuku-san: I've been really lonely in the Dojo the past few years.  
Ryo-san: I'll come spar with you.  
Fuku-san: Yes! Really?! Thanks Ryo-san!

:Fuku giggles and runs out:

Ryo-san: That Fuku-san…

:Ryo digs through his green bag and finds that long box that Shenhua gave him:  
:He unclips the locks and opens it:  
:Inside what the Floating Sword from the Phantom River Cave:  
:Ryo wraps his hand around the sword and lifts it up in front of him:  
:The sword felt like it weighed a ton:  
:Ryo starts to get a sense of euphoria:  
:Everything that dwelled deep inside of him went away:  
:His mind starts to believe that what he felt right now was how he should of felt:  
:He had a new mission, and it didn't involve Lan Di:  
:He must rebuild Yokosuka:  
:His veins start to pierce his skin and turn red:  
:His skin fainted to a clear color:  
:His eyes transformed red and his hair engulfed into flames:  
:His muscles tripled size and his legs grew a few feet:  
:Ryo holds the floating sword high:  
:Fuku walks in:  
:Ryo had an automatic scan in his vision:  
:His scanner scopes the room, targeting Fuku:  
:It read Fuku's age, height, ethnicity, fighting skill, blood type, and heart beat:

Fuku-san: Ryo-san, you look different.  
Ryo-san: (smiling) I am.


End file.
